Unlimited

Send me a text! Realigning your core values requires exploring both what is consciously important to you AND your societal conditioning. Your values, both conscious and subconscious, shape your decisions and motivate our behavior. If you find yourself feeling stuck, drained, or sabotaging what you say you want, it’s likely you have a subconscious values conflict. There are 5 values that I regularly find creating conflict within my high-achieving clients. They are responsibility, reliability, respect, achievement, and discipline. During a period of change, particularly societal change, it is both crucial and powerful to examen these driving forces within yourself. The patterns are more noticeable AND values work can ensure that you are living in alignment with what you want to create in your life and in the world, rather than sliding into reactivity. In this episode of Unlimited, I explore a process for realigning your core values so you can make more intentional choices that honor who you want to be. Some of what I talk about in this episode includes: LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia Stop Being Nice and Start Being Resilient More Self-Control Is Not Always The Answer About Me Shift from Drained to Motivated Free Exploration Session If you found this episode helpful, please share it! You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Navigating our relationship with death is a profound part of our human experience, yet we often avoid talking about it. This avoidance not only prevents us from asking for and receiving care, it also reduces our capacity to provide care. Additionally, we must be able to embrace our mortality (rather than trying to transcend it) in order to fully embrace living this one precious life. Death doulas are a valuable resource for those looking for support around the emotional, practical, and spiritual dynamics of death. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Nikki Smith (she/her) to join me in a conversation around navigating our relationship with death. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula - Understanding Hospice For those in Chicago, IL looking for estate planning, check out Emily Rozwadowski Law (reference this podcast for 10% off estate planning documents) CONNECT WITH NIKKI: Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! “Three Essentials to Maximize Your Experience at an Event” provides a strategy to keep your planning simple and ensure you get the most out of your investment of time, money, and energy. Some of the obstacles to event ROI include overwhelm, self-doubt, shiny object, peer pressure, FOMO, and other such distractions. Additionally, the so called “mom guilt” is a common struggle for high-achieving women with children at home. With these kinds of challenges, you need something simple to support both strategic pre-event planning and at event discernment. In this episode I explore the 3 essentials to maximize your experience at an event whether it’s a professional conference or personal development retreat. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can send me a message through the "text me" link on your listening platform, shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com, or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding (an episode on values, plus “mom guilt”) Shift from Drained to Motivated (an episode on values) Silencing Your Inner Critic How to Get the Most Value at an Event Workbook (on my resource page) One time coaching session Exploration call CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Redefining our relationship to productivity is a necessary component of preventing burnout and cultivating well-being. Our current societal relationship to productivity is built on Industrial Revolution era conception of work ethic. This conception wraps our value into what we can produce, dehumanizing us in the process. In order to rehumanize our relationship to our energy, we must first reclaim our worth separate from external measures of production. Additionally we must learn to tap into our values and honor our capacity as we prioritize our energy usage. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Lisa Zawrotny (she/her) to join me in a conversation about redefining our relationship to productivity to support our mental health and well-being. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Rethinking Empowerment and Releasing Comparison Loving Yourself Through Grief Why Work Life Balance is a Myth The Myths Around Productivity CONNECT WITH LISA: Website Instagram Pinterest Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! Tending your self-relationship through values & shadow work helps you engages the roots of your motivation and how you live your life. Our values form the basis of our core motivations. Shadow work helps us acknowledge and heal the wounds that inhibit awareness and access to our full self. While we live in a world full of obstacles to self-expression, this work will always be an ongoing process. By engaging focused value and shadow reflections, we can better align our actions with what really matters most to us, nurture important relationships, and live purposefully. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Erica Courdae (she/her) to join me in a conversation about the practical wisdom that supports tending our self-relationship through values & shadow work. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Cowboy Carter Listen to The Unlimited Podcast Playlist CONNECT WITH ERICA: Website Book Free Shadow Work Mini-Course Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! Cultivating collaboration over competition is essential in today's interconnected world. We don't exist in a vacuum; our social understanding and discernment must be engaged collectively. The spaces we inhabit, like social media platforms, exert significant influence on our interactions, sometimes more than our intentions to be collaborative versus competitive. The Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as Quakers, is structured around a corporate discernment process rather than dogma. I’ve found “Quaker process” offers valuable support and guidance for fostering collaboration, emphasizing collective decision-making over individualistic competition. In this episode I share insights from my personal struggles and inspirations around cultivating collaboration over competition in the spaces I occupy. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can send me a message through the "text me" link on your listening platform, shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com, or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Reclaiming Creativity and Healing Through Art with Krishna Kayastha The Atheist’s Guide to Quaker Process Friends General Conference (for more on Quakers) CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Reclaiming creativity and healing through art is essential because you’re innately creative, even if you’re someone who wouldn’t label yourself as “a creative.” Many of people learn to disconnect from their creativity as children because self-expression doesn’t feel safe, pressure to do art “right” surrounded it with perfectionism, and internalized productivity prioritizing. All of these have an impact on our mental health. This is why reclaiming space for creativity for creativity sake can be integral in a healing journey. Additionally, having space held for you can be healing for access to your authentic expression. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Krishna Kayastha (she/her) to join me in a conversation about reclaiming creativity and healing through art. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Artist's Way CONNECT WITH KRISHNA: Website Instagram Weekly Journal Prompts CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates Ask Valerie Support the Show.

Send me a text! Foundations for authentic public relations support building solid connections whether you are an organization or individual. The value of truly listening to others, understanding different perspectives and pathways toward a goal, and then following through on what you learn cannot be overstated. These principles of communication and relationship building are critical to create an impact and drive meaningful change in a way that respects all people. Giving the space to engage in a relational process is not easy in the world of urgency and sound bites but it’s necessary for authentically engaging the public. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Catharine Montgomery (she/her) to join me in a conversation about how to set and sustain the foundations for authentic public relations. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: CONNECT WITH CATHARINE MONTGOMERY Website LinkedIn Medium Threads CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! Understanding the 5 Love Languages has helped facilitate communication for many people but it has numerous limitations. While the 5 Love Languages has become an extremely popular relationship tool, it’s not a fix-all and it may not be the right approach for everyone. What about this tool makes it helpful and where it falls short can help you determine if and how to apply it in your own life. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to apply it appropriately in your own life. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: 5 Love Languages Website The 5 Love Languages Book Is There Science Behind the 5 Love Languages Building a Relationship to Pleasure and Intimacy with Daniela Stevens Understanding Your Stress Language Stress Language Quiz HS Emotion Wheels & Needs Wheels Ask Val Form CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Building a relationship to pleasure and intimacy takes a lot of intention in this society that still treats talking about sex as taboo. So many people struggle with intimacy due to lack of communication, trauma, and societal conditioning to disconnect from their bodies and desires. Improving intimacy requires us to unlearn harmful norms and relearn our embodied self. Tools like love languages and embodied practices can help us engage in conscious communication with partners. It helps to create a safe container to explore these sensitive topics compassionately, gain perspective on cultivating more fulfilling relationships. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Daniela Stevens (she/they) to join me in a conversation about how to meet yourself where you’re at as you build a relationship to pleasure and intimacy. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: How to Create Belonging with Amena Chaudhry 2017 Medium Article - Why Men Keep Demanding Sex from their Partners Over and Over Monsters In Love: Why Your Partner Sometimes Drives You Crazy—And What You Can Do About It by Resmaa Menakem CONNECT WITH DANIELA STEVENS Website Instagram Free Gift for deeper sexual connection CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! Creating healthy relationships in all areas of our life is the focus of this season of Unlimited. A relationship is how we relate to another person, place, thing, or even concept. How we relate to ourselves is at the core of how we relate to others. Yet, how we understand and relate to ourselves is also built from those external relationships. Unfortunately, most of us haven’t been taught how to cultivate healthy relationships let alone experienced examples of them. In many cases we need to first unlearn harmful ways of relating before we can learn healing ways of relating. First, we’ll lay a foundation of understanding healthy and unhealthy relating. Then, over the next several months, we’ll explore how it applies to all areas of our life. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m kicking off the focus of season 4 by setting a foundation for creating healthy relationships. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Signs of a Healthy Relationship Tips for Building a Stronger Relationship Ask a question or share a topic for the podcast Apply to be coached on the podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! Discover valuable New Year transition tips in this Season 3 wrap-up for the Unlimited Podcast. The period between one cycle and the next is a great time to reflect both on where you’ve been and where you’re going. It’s important to create supportive space to engage and focus that reflection. You can set that foundation through honoring your humanity and connecting to what’s really important to you. Celebrating helps you acknowledge yourself even in the small spaces we too often overlook. From there you can create the next phase of your life. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into a season 3 wrap-up and new year transition tips to help you maximize the time between this cycle and the next. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: (If you want to skip the recap, the tips start about 15 mins in)Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Setting Healthy Boundaries How to Say No Without Guilt What to Do When You’ve Fallen Behind A Simple Way to End the Year Strong – Seeds For Growth Presentation The Unlimited Podcast Mix Rest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey You're More Than Your Personality Test Energy Leadership Index Assessment Ask a question or share a topic for the podcast Apply to be coached on the podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the Show.

Send me a text! Aligning with your astrology is a way to explore what works for you. From new year plans to parenting, it’s one thing to recognize that there’s no one size fits all, but it can be hard to step outside the norms without some kind of framework to work from. Not to mention, it’s even harder to think outside the box when you’re already exhausted from trying to function within the normalized systems that aren’t working for you. Astrology is a tool that can help you explore other ways to look at challenges and maximize opportunities both in preparing for the year ahead as well as looking at dynamics in your relationships with kids and parents. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Babs Cheung to join me in a conversation about how to align with your astrology as you plan for a new year. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Astro.com Café Astrology Café Astrology 2024 Ephemeris The Myth of Normal CONNECT WITH BABS CHEUNG: Website Instagram LinkedIn Discovery Quiz CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Accessing the true power of gratitude requires going beyond the individual mindset approach that is typically referenced. Expressions of gratitude have been observed among many communally based species. It supports group functioning. Thus, the true power of gratitude is in collective connection, not individual mindset. Studies show that there are a plethora of benefits to gratitude. The problems of toxic positivity and tolerating unacceptable behavior shows up when gratitude is used as a tool of individualism. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring accessing the true power of gratitude through shifting out of individualistic thinking and into collective consideration. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Science of Gratitude white paper Neuroscience Reveals Gratitude Literally Rewires Your Brain to be Happier How to Make Stress Your Friend TedTalk The Book of Joy Understanding Your Stress Language episode You’re More Than Your Personality Test episode Toxic Positivity episode Helpful vs Harmful Mindset Work episode Making Holiday Magic Workshop Private coaching session CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! How to create belonging starts with understanding that most of us don’t know what belonging really is. It’s hard to create something that you haven’t first experienced and there is a difference between intellectually understanding vs experiencing something. What most of us do experience is strong conditioning from a young age around fitting in - to our families, in our school, and, ultimately, in society. This “fitting in” is part of how we are taught to uphold oppressive social systems because creates a faux belonging that activates our need for belonging but only fills it by exclusion. So, no wonder this is a struggle for many organizations and why we need help to understand and create it. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Amena Chaudhry to join me in a conversation about how to create belonging in a true way for all. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle The Wake Up by Michelle Mijung Kim The Roundtable Talk by Meena Malik CONNECT WITH AMENA CHAUDHRY: Website LinkedIn Art of Interrupting Racism workshop CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Reclaiming humanity through grief is necessary for our ability to intentionally create a world that honors each person's humanity. Understanding and having space to grieve and support each other through our grief helps us to connect to our shared humanity. In so many often unconscious ways, we are encouraged to dehumanize ourselves and others. One way this happens is a disconnect from our emotions and especially a lack of understanding and space to honor grief, not just our individual grief but also our communal grief. To rehumanize ourselves and overcome the pressures to dehumanize others, we must allow the space necessary for grief and healing. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding grief and how we can reclaim our humanity through grief. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Lived Experience of Traumatic Grief Why Historical Trauma Is Critical Understanding Black Mental Health The Link Between Trauma and Anger The Process of Grief Why Clients Smile When Talking About Trauma Social Media, The Matrix, and Digital Tribalism Misinformation and Trauma: How to Watch a War Online See No Stranger by Valarie Kaur My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison go hand in hand in a society where empowerment is treated as a commodity and lifestyle is used as a sales tactic. Lifestyle as a sales tactic encourages us to compare how happy we are to how happy someone supposedly living a particular lifestyle appears to be. When empowerment is the commodity being sold, it becomes the way to achieve that lifestyle. These idealized lifestyles tend to uphold societal norms and often become internalized through frequent messaging. Comparison can be a helpful tool for noticing what you have internalized as preferable in life, which may also help you release the comparison. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison to create a more aligned and authentically joyful way of life. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Amena Chaudhry LinkedIn How to Manifest What You Want Podcast Episode Implicit Bias Defined video by The Center for Social Justice TEDx What Do We Do About Implicit Bias video by Dushaw Hockett Thinking Under the Influence video by Brenda J. Allen Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! How to cure comparisonitis starts by understanding the cause and that this isn’t just a “you” problem. It’s something that impacts you, your confidence, your sense of self, and your well-being, so it feels deeply personal. Since it’s internal, comparisonitis feels like a habit of comparing yourself to others in one or multiple areas. It’s usually triggered in an area that already feels endangered in some way – often things like financial success or belonging. It turns into a cycle of validation seeking where you feel inadequate or less than, doubt yourself and your abilities and seek validation from others which tends to further erode self-esteem. It’s also framed as an individual issue even when noted as being exacerbated by things like social media. But you can tell there’s more to it both in what feels threatened and how it’s exacerbated. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring the causes of and how to cure comparisonitis. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Amena Chaudhry LinkedIn The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate #TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation by Anne Helen Peterson CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text! Insights from change making feminist founders are an important type of support for other feminist business owners and leaders. We are surrounded by stories of what success is and what you must do to achieve it that perpetuate exploitation of ourselves, of others, and of our planet. These stories are what is normalized but they aren’t the only way. Hearing other stories and ways of doing business helps us believe and trust in the possibility of change. It helps us tap into and generate ideas outside the normalized boxes. Additionally, and maybe most importantly, it helps us know that we are not alone. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Becky Mollenkamp to join me in a conversation about the insights she's gotten from interviewing change making feminist founders. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Working it Out Podcast CONNECT WITH BECKY MOLLENKAMP: Website Instagram Threads Feminist Founders Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the Show.

Send me a text! How to create a schedule that works for you cannot take a one size fits all approach. Most so called “successful people” strategies play on the false idea that we all have the same 24 hours and should, therefore, be able to get the same amount done. These strategies fail to factor in our humanity, discount our lived experiences, and fuel self-doubt. Instead of trying to fit someone else’s mold, you deserve routines that honor your humanity and support you where you are. Part of creating a schedule that works for you also means acknowledging that what works for you may look different at different times too. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into the foundations that help you create a schedule that works for you with both structure and flexibility. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans Yet Reclaim Your Routine Workshop Series CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.