Unlimited

Foundations for authentic public relations support building solid connections whether you are an organization or individual. The value of truly listening to others, understanding different perspectives and pathways toward a goal, and then following through on what you learn cannot be overstated. These principles of communication and relationship building are critical to create an impact and drive meaningful change in a way that respects all people. Giving the space to engage in a relational process is not easy in the world of urgency and sound bites but it’s necessary for authentically engaging the public. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Catharine Montgomery (she/her) to join me in a conversation about how to set and sustain the foundations for authentic public relations. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: CONNECT WITH CATHARINE MONTGOMERY Website LinkedIn Medium Threads CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the show

Understanding the 5 Love Languages has helped facilitate communication for many people but it has numerous limitations. While the 5 Love Languages has become an extremely popular relationship tool, it’s not a fix-all and it may not be the right approach for everyone. What about this tool makes it helpful and where it falls short can help you determine if and how to apply it in your own life. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to apply it appropriately in your own life. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: 5 Love Languages Website The 5 Love Languages Book Is There Science Behind the 5 Love Languages Building a Relationship to Pleasure and Intimacy with Daniela Stevens Understanding Your Stress Language Stress Language Quiz HS Emotion Wheels & Needs Wheels Ask Val Form CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Building a relationship to pleasure and intimacy takes a lot of intention in this society that still treats talking about sex as taboo. So many people struggle with intimacy due to lack of communication, trauma, and societal conditioning to disconnect from their bodies and desires. Improving intimacy requires us to unlearn harmful norms and relearn our embodied self. Tools like love languages and embodied practices can help us engage in conscious communication with partners. It helps to create a safe container to explore these sensitive topics compassionately, gain perspective on cultivating more fulfilling relationships. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Daniela Stevens (she/they) to join me in a conversation about how to meet yourself where you’re at as you build a relationship to pleasure and intimacy. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: How to Create Belonging with Amena Chaudhry 2017 Medium Article - Why Men Keep Demanding Sex from their Partners Over and Over Monsters In Love: Why Your Partner Sometimes Drives You Crazy—And What You Can Do About It by Resmaa Menakem CONNECT WITH DANIELA STEVENS Website Instagram Free Gift for deeper sexual connection CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the show

Creating healthy relationships in all areas of our life is the focus of this season of Unlimited. A relationship is how we relate to another person, place, thing, or even concept. How we relate to ourselves is at the core of how we relate to others. Yet, how we understand and relate to ourselves is also built from those external relationships. Unfortunately, most of us haven’t been taught how to cultivate healthy relationships let alone experienced examples of them. In many cases we need to first unlearn harmful ways of relating before we can learn healing ways of relating. First, we’ll lay a foundation of understanding healthy and unhealthy relating. Then, over the next several months, we’ll explore how it applies to all areas of our life. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m kicking off the focus of season 4 by setting a foundation for creating healthy relationships. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Signs of a Healthy Relationship Tips for Building a Stronger Relationship Ask a question or share a topic for the podcast Apply to be coached on the podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the show

Discover valuable New Year transition tips in this Season 3 wrap-up for the Unlimited Podcast. The period between one cycle and the next is a great time to reflect both on where you’ve been and where you’re going. It’s important to create supportive space to engage and focus that reflection. You can set that foundation through honoring your humanity and connecting to what’s really important to you. Celebrating helps you acknowledge yourself even in the small spaces we too often overlook. From there you can create the next phase of your life. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into a season 3 wrap-up and new year transition tips to help you maximize the time between this cycle and the next. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: (If you want to skip the recap, the tips start about 15 mins in)Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Setting Healthy Boundaries How to Say No Without Guilt What to Do When You’ve Fallen Behind A Simple Way to End the Year Strong – Seeds For Growth Presentation The Unlimited Podcast Mix Rest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey You're More Than Your Personality Test Energy Leadership Index Assessment Ask a question or share a topic for the podcast Apply to be coached on the podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates Support the show

Aligning with your astrology is a way to explore what works for you. From new year plans to parenting, it’s one thing to recognize that there’s no one size fits all, but it can be hard to step outside the norms without some kind of framework to work from. Not to mention, it’s even harder to think outside the box when you’re already exhausted from trying to function within the normalized systems that aren’t working for you. Astrology is a tool that can help you explore other ways to look at challenges and maximize opportunities both in preparing for the year ahead as well as looking at dynamics in your relationships with kids and parents. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Babs Cheung to join me in a conversation about how to align with your astrology as you plan for a new year. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Astro.com Café Astrology Café Astrology 2024 Ephemeris The Myth of Normal CONNECT WITH BABS CHEUNG: Website Instagram LinkedIn Discovery Quiz CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates! Support the show

Accessing the true power of gratitude requires going beyond the individual mindset approach that is typically referenced. Expressions of gratitude have been observed among many communally based species. It supports group functioning. Thus, the true power of gratitude is in collective connection, not individual mindset. Studies show that there are a plethora of benefits to gratitude. The problems of toxic positivity and tolerating unacceptable behavior shows up when gratitude is used as a tool of individualism. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring accessing the true power of gratitude through shifting out of individualistic thinking and into collective consideration. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Science of Gratitude white paper Neuroscience Reveals Gratitude Literally Rewires Your Brain to be Happier How to Make Stress Your Friend TedTalk The Book of Joy Understanding Your Stress Language episode You’re More Than Your Personality Test episode Toxic Positivity episode Helpful vs Harmful Mindset Work episode Making Holiday Magic Workshop Private coaching session CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to create belonging starts with understanding that most of us don’t know what belonging really is. It’s hard to create something that you haven’t first experienced and there is a difference between intellectually understanding vs experiencing something. What most of us do experience is strong conditioning from a young age around fitting in - to our families, in our school, and, ultimately, in society. This “fitting in” is part of how we are taught to uphold oppressive social systems because creates a faux belonging that activates our need for belonging but only fills it by exclusion. So, no wonder this is a struggle for many organizations and why we need help to understand and create it. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Amena Chaudhry to join me in a conversation about how to create belonging in a true way for all. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle The Wake Up by Michelle Mijung Kim The Roundtable Talk by Meena Malik CONNECT WITH AMENA CHAUDHRY: Website LinkedIn Art of Interrupting Racism workshop CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updates! Support the show

Reclaiming humanity through grief is necessary for our ability to intentionally create a world that honors each person's humanity. Understanding and having space to grieve and support each other through our grief helps us to connect to our shared humanity. In so many often unconscious ways, we are encouraged to dehumanize ourselves and others. One way this happens is a disconnect from our emotions and especially a lack of understanding and space to honor grief, not just our individual grief but also our communal grief. To rehumanize ourselves and overcome the pressures to dehumanize others, we must allow the space necessary for grief and healing. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding grief and how we can reclaim our humanity through grief. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The Lived Experience of Traumatic Grief Why Historical Trauma Is Critical Understanding Black Mental Health The Link Between Trauma and Anger The Process of Grief Why Clients Smile When Talking About Trauma Social Media, The Matrix, and Digital Tribalism Misinformation and Trauma: How to Watch a War Online See No Stranger by Valarie Kaur My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison go hand in hand in a society where empowerment is treated as a commodity and lifestyle is used as a sales tactic. Lifestyle as a sales tactic encourages us to compare how happy we are to how happy someone supposedly living a particular lifestyle appears to be. When empowerment is the commodity being sold, it becomes the way to achieve that lifestyle. These idealized lifestyles tend to uphold societal norms and often become internalized through frequent messaging. Comparison can be a helpful tool for noticing what you have internalized as preferable in life, which may also help you release the comparison. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison to create a more aligned and authentically joyful way of life. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Amena Chaudhry LinkedIn How to Manifest What You Want Podcast Episode Implicit Bias Defined video by The Center for Social Justice TEDx What Do We Do About Implicit Bias video by Dushaw Hockett Thinking Under the Influence video by Brenda J. Allen Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to cure comparisonitis starts by understanding the cause and that this isn’t just a “you” problem. It’s something that impacts you, your confidence, your sense of self, and your well-being, so it feels deeply personal. Since it’s internal, comparisonitis feels like a habit of comparing yourself to others in one or multiple areas. It’s usually triggered in an area that already feels endangered in some way – often things like financial success or belonging. It turns into a cycle of validation seeking where you feel inadequate or less than, doubt yourself and your abilities and seek validation from others which tends to further erode self-esteem. It’s also framed as an individual issue even when noted as being exacerbated by things like social media. But you can tell there’s more to it both in what feels threatened and how it’s exacerbated. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring the causes of and how to cure comparisonitis. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Amena Chaudhry LinkedIn The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate #TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation by Anne Helen Peterson CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Insights from change making feminist founders are an important type of support for other feminist business owners and leaders. We are surrounded by stories of what success is and what you must do to achieve it that perpetuate exploitation of ourselves, of others, and of our planet. These stories are what is normalized but they aren’t the only way. Hearing other stories and ways of doing business helps us believe and trust in the possibility of change. It helps us tap into and generate ideas outside the normalized boxes. Additionally, and maybe most importantly, it helps us know that we are not alone. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Becky Mollenkamp to join me in a conversation about the insights she's gotten from interviewing change making feminist founders. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Working it Out Podcast CONNECT WITH BECKY MOLLENKAMP: Website Instagram Threads Feminist Founders Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

How to create a schedule that works for you cannot take a one size fits all approach. Most so called “successful people” strategies play on the false idea that we all have the same 24 hours and should, therefore, be able to get the same amount done. These strategies fail to factor in our humanity, discount our lived experiences, and fuel self-doubt. Instead of trying to fit someone else’s mold, you deserve routines that honor your humanity and support you where you are. Part of creating a schedule that works for you also means acknowledging that what works for you may look different at different times too. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into the foundations that help you create a schedule that works for you with both structure and flexibility. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans Yet Reclaim Your Routine Workshop Series CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to cultivate self-love is also how you develop self-confidence, make room for self-care, and show up as your best self. This episode is an updated replay of the season one episode, Relearning Self-Love. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for your relationship with everyone and everything in your life. Unfortunately, it is also the relationship that we are constantly conditioned to ignore. Even the emphasis on the importance of self-care turns into a pressure when the foundation for care hasn’t been given room to be cultivated. Instead of helping us take care of ourselves better, this pressure further fuels the disconnect within ourselves. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into how to cultivate self-love, especially in times when life is happening and we feel out of control. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: The 5 Love Languages What’s Your Stress Language Quiz #3 Understanding Your Stress Language CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

The 7 Ways to Relax this Summer are also the ways we can learn to bring more rest into our lives. We have seven areas that influence our energy and each needs care as we learn to release, relax, and rest. Our society is infused with stories that pull us away from our humanity, which includes devaluing rest. Part of the process of truly relaxing is recognizing the stories we’ve internalized that keep us from relaxing. This allows us to see the systems that feed us these stories more clearly. Another part is forgiving ourselves, not because it’s our fault, but because beating ourselves up is another way we’ve been conditioned to dehumanize ourselves. In this episode of Unlimited, the podcast, I explore 7 ways to relax this summer that support healing beyond the vacation. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: REFERENECED IN THIS EPISODE: Rest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, Ph.D. The Femme Historian Instagram The Femme Historian Buy Me A Coffee UNLIMITED EPISODES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: The Value of Rest Navigating Obstacles to Rest Clarifying What You Want CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to Navigate Societal Gaslighting and Stay Empowered is an updated replay of the season one episode “No, You’re Not Crazy.” Most information regarding gaslighting focuses on the psychological experience within individual relationships. However, gaslighting is actually a societal phenomenon with roots in social power dynamics. Those roots are why it is common to experience the psychological impact of gaslighting during periods of social change. However, because we tend to think of gaslighting as an individual experience, the effect of the societal gaslighting is exacerbated and our ability to navigate the stress is inhibited. We must step out of this over-individualization in order to develop support ourselves through the stress and engage this time with intention. In this episode of Unlimited, the podcast, I engage how to navigate societal gaslighting and stay empowered in times of social change. Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include: ARTICLES REFERENECED IN THIS EPISODE: The Sociology of Gaslighting The Sociological Definition of Anomie Anomie in the Sociological Perspective of Emile Durkheim Stop Telling Women They Have Impostor Syndrome Is Someone Gaslighting You? Here’s How To spot If You’re Being Gaslighted Embracing Stress Is More Important Than Reducing Stress UNLIMITED EPISODES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: 3 Things You Need to Create Stability in Times of Uncertainty How to Start Meditating Understanding Your Stress Language Relearning Self-Love Girl, Learn to Apologize Red Flags in Online business Toxic Positivity CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Resilience through unexpected career shifts is often something you realize in retrospect. It's natural to feel stress in times of change, especially during unexpected transitions that impact your financial security. It can feel overwhelming when you're walking through them. Once you know that you successfully regained a certain equilibrium in your life you can look back with greater perspective. It's rare these days to have a job that lasts a life time or even to have a linear career journey. We're in a time of transition societally and many people are experiencing that in a very personal way, particularly in their career. One way to gain perspective in the moment is to recall times where you have successfully navigated unexpected shifts in the past. Another way to gain perspective is to tap into other people's experience. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited F. John Potter (aka my dad) to join me in a conversation about what resilience looks like through unexpected career shifts. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: John’s Ignite Talk Leaning Into a Mid-Life Career Change Three Things You Need to Create Stability in Times of Uncertainty Tao Te Ching CONNECT WITH F. JOHN POTTER: Website CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

Three things you need to create stability in times of uncertainty are to know yourself, to stay curious, and to build community. We are in a massive period of change and that comes with a great deal of uncertainty. Uncertainty naturally triggers feelings of overwhelm, which make it hard to take action. This is NOT an individual failing. Much of what feeds this instability is systemic, not individual. With that in mind, I invite you to remember that you are part of the system and you DO have power. In order to engage that power and help build a healthier foundation, you need to start with building your own foundation. This will give you the stability to do something different, which is the only way we can begin to create something different. In this episode of Unlimited, I explore the three ways you create stability in times of uncertainty. Some of what I talk about in this episode includes: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! EPISODES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Can I Make Plans Yet Reflections and A Way Forward Getting Comfortable in The Uncomfortable Relearning Self-Love Clarifying What You Want Values Aligned Leadership How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding Shift From Drained to Motivated Understanding Your Stress Language You’re More Than Your Personality Test To Emotional Awareness and Beyond Setting Healthy Boundaries How to Say No Without Guilt How to Prioritize Your Needs CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

Values aligned leadership is central to running a values aligned business. Companies of any size that want to go beyond checking boxes must intentionally cultivate leadership based in clear values. A company’s most valuable asset is its people. Centering humanity at all levels of a company supports morale, efficiency, quality of work, and, ultimately, company health. Unfortunately, many people haven’t experienced examples of values aligned leadership and that makes it hard to create. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Alesia Galati to join me in a conversation about what values aligned leadership looks like in practice. Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Creating a Human-Centered Work Culture with Marissa Badgley The Pressure to Love Your Job with Cristin Downs Why Work Life Balance is a Myth Winners Take All – the Elite Charade of Changing the World by Anand Giridharadas The Four Agreements – A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz CONNECT WITH ALESIA GALATI: Website LinkedIn Facebook Instagram Listeners to Leads Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

“Am I just making excuses?” is something most people wonder at some point when they are not following through on something they say they want to do. From health goals to work goals, the story we’re surrounded by is that of weakness. It’s self-sabotage. You aren’t trying hard enough, so you don’t want it badly enough. It’s lack of maturity. Basically, whatever the details of the message are, the energy is judgmental and shame inducing. This is the messaging because we’ve learned to use shame to motivate even though it doesn’t work. Actually, all it really does is block us from discovering what’s really going on and accessing our ability to find a solution. In this episode of Unlimited, I explore understanding why and alternatives to asking if you’re just making excuses. Some of what I talk about in this episode includes: Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Deep Self Care to Shift Habits It's Simple, So Why Am I Not Doing It? CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show