Bullying, Life & Stuff with Rhonda Orr

Sometimes, well-meaning people get caught up in details and lose sight of the real problems they’re trying to address. This week, we heard from a woman who is unhappy that some parents she knows are battling to prove that their child’s situation is worse than the other. But all that’s doing is causing both parents to act like bullies. She wants them to recognize that they’re making things worse.

Some people work hard to provide for their families. And then some just work hard. Too hard. Too much. It’s not to provide for their family. They may say that, but it’s really not the case. This week, we heard from a woman whose husband is a workaholic. He doesn’t have time to be a husband…or a dad. She’s wondering what she can do to change things.

Have you noticed how angry people are these days? Every little thing sets them off. Road rage is common. And we no longer get along with the cashier at the store, or the teller at the bank. What’s going on here? And how do we change it back? That’s what the woman who wrote to us this week wants to know.

When you’re a parent, you might think everything your child does is special. But there are limits. When a child embraces mediocrity and doesn’t really try, how should the parent react? That’s the question from a concerned mother this week. Her husband says she expects too much from their six-year-old. But she’s not sure it’s a good idea to reward laziness.

Remember when people were polite? It’s been a while, but I can. They acted with civility because they were taught to be civil. And it was expected. Now manners are a forgotten relic. And that is a shame. Everyone benefits when we’re kind to each other. It doesn’t take any extra time, but it pays off. This week’s letter from a teacher who has tried to instill these values in her students, but parents don’t seem to care.

You could call it jealousy … or you might call it envy. Or maybe resentment.It’s the way some people treat pretty women. They’re accused of caring too much about their looks, simply because of how they appear.Of course, the same people who shame women for looking good also shame women who don’t wear makeup, do their hair, or dress well. They also complain when moms dress their young children well. What’s going on here? This week’s letter is from a woman who wishes other women would stop...

One of the basic human needs is to feel as if we belong with others. That why intentionally being left out hurts so much. It causes deep damage, and the emotional wounds take a long time to heal. This week, we heard from a woman who’s friend has been shunned by her family and now seems to be spiraling out of control. What can she do to recover from this?

Once upon a time, not so long ago, people were courteous. They held doors open for each other, said “Please” and “Thank you,” and apologized if they bumped into someone. Nowadays, a lot of the courtesy is gone. It’s especially true between friends. The people you should expect to be nicest to you frequently treat you with very little care anymore. It’s as if they think that being someone’s friend means you don’t need to be nice. This week’s letter is from a woman who’s wondering what she can...

When kids are overweight, they become an easy target for bullies. Not only can the stress of being victimized cause them to eat more, but the continual abuse can lead kids to develop long-term psychological problems. Ultimately, the solution, for both the child’s’ mental and physical health, is to help him or her lose weight. But that’s not easy. This week, we heard from a mom who is wondering how she can best help her obese son.

If your child is a bully, you may not know that unless or until someone tells you. Bullies don’t come with labels and they don’t have a certain look. If you are told that your kid is bullying others, you may be tempted to fall back on the parent’s favorite defensive phrase: Not MY kid. But if he or she really is a bully, there are things you can do to change that. This week, one surprised mom wrote us asking what to do about her daughter’s bullying behavior.

If you’ve heard of CBD, you probably have questions. It’s being touted as a cure for dozens of health problems, from anxiety and depression, to Parkinson ’s disease symptoms. Whether it actually works is still in question to many medical professionals. But is CBD the same as marijuana? That’s the question this week from a woman whose husband is using CBD but seems to be experiencing side effects.

Children who are victims of bullies often don’t want their parents to know. They also may not want their parents to help fix the problem. You can see why they may not think adults get it. Some of their solutions just aren’t realistic. Today’s letter is from a mom whose daughter has been given some of that bad advice. Now the girl isn’t sure what to do, and Mom’s out of ideas, too.

Kids are a lot more observant than some adults realize, and they learn more of their behaviors from adults than we’d like to admit. When adults are uncivil, it gives permission to kids to act the same way. This week’s letter is from a man who is concerned about the name-calling in politics today and the effect it may be having on kids.

Have you been to a mall lately? Odds are, you haven’t. They used to be a lot more popular than they are today. Every day, you can find a news story about one closing down. The malls that are still open are often not very exciting. They may be occupied by stores that –once upon a time—wouldn’t even have been accepted in them. Our letter this week is from a woman who wants to know why the mall owners don’t uphold the standards they used to—and if anything will ever change back.

Bullying is on the rise, and rising along with it is suicide among its victims. But something else seems to be going up, too: Bully fatigue. Like so many other widespread problems, it seems that people are getting tired of hearing about bullying. They’ve become apathetic. That’s dangerous. This week, we heard from a teen whose cousin committed suicide after relentless bullying. She went to school officials with a parent, but nothing was done. What might have saved her?

When people start a relationship, they go into it with great expectations. Things are going to be fantastic, and you’ll live happily ever after. But what about if the situation changes? People do change, and when they do, if you feel you’re growing apart, it can be a problem. You can’t change anyone else. That’s a given. Our letter this week is from a guy who is experiencing this right now. He wants the woman he fell in love with back. Let’s see what he might do.

Have you told a lie today? Be honest. Odds are, you have. It’s tough to live in a civilized culture without fibbing a bit, if only to protect others’ feelings. But on the deep end of the spectrum, there are the chronic liars. These are people who just can’t seem to tell the truth. They lie about random things, big and small. It’s like a bad habit. This week, we heard from a woman whose husband’s pants are practically on fire. He just won’t tell the truth. About anything.

These days, it seems like people are less happy than they used to be. We have a whole generation of young adults who base their own self-image on how they compare to others. And they always come up short. That’s because the other people they’re looking at have carefully built an image on social media. But it’s always enhanced…it isn’t real. And you can never measure up to their made-up image. This week’s letter is from a woman who has started to feel hopeless about her own life. Let’s see...

Today, we’re going to discuss a touchy subject. Racism. Our letter this week is from a white woman who feels she’s being unfairly accused of being a racist by her black co-workers. She doesn’t understand why. Maybe color isn’t the root of the problem. Certainly, if she wants to fix it, she can’t do anything about skin color. She’ll need a different solution. Let’s explore that.

We talk a lot about bullying on this show. But sometimes, it’s good to go back to the basics. A mom wrote us this week asking what defines bullying. That’s a question I’m always happy to answer because it’s a reminder that bullying isn’t simply a rite of passage. It can quickly become a very big deal and can lead to serious consequences. So this week, we’ll talk about what bullying is and is not.