Thriving Adoptees - Let's Heal

Many of us feel that we were brought up in a false narrative. Many of us feel that the current narrative around adoption is still false. But what about OUR narrative? The narrative that sums up how we see our life? The narrative that changes. The narrative that's meant to change. Stephen shares routes to a more empowered narrative. Fascinating. Empowering. And very, very different. Different in a GOOD way. Stephen Rowley, Ph.D., is an adoptee, adoptive parent and psychotherapist practicing in Bainbridge Island, Washington. His professional past includes serving as an elementary school teacher and principal, and a school district superintendent in Washington and California. He has been a college professor at three universities, teaching courses in educational administration and organizational theory. He holds a Ph.D. in Administration and Policy Analysis from Stanford University. His new book is: The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny (Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023). Learn more at stephenrowley108.com/memoir/ https://stephenrowley108.com https://www.facebook.com/srowley108 https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephen-rowley-ma-lmhc-phd-b83ab811/ https://www.instagram.com/stephenrowley108/ https://twitter.com/srowley108 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How does healing help us advocate? How does advocacy help us heal? Listen in as we explore how the intersection of two crucial parts of our lives. Here's the link to Joyce's previous interviews https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/joyce https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/theres-nothing-wrong-with-us-with-joyce-maguire-pavao Here's a link to a replay of Advancing Your Advocacy For Adoptees https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y-8Id3NajI Dr. Pavao has done extensive training, both nationally and internationally. She is a lecturer in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and she has consulted to various public and private child welfare agencies, adoption agencies, schools, and community groups, as well as probate and family court judges, lawyers, and clergy. Additionally, she has worked closely with individuals and families touched by adoption, foster care, and other complex blended family constructions. She has developed models for treatment and for training using her systemic, intergenerational, and developmental framework, The Normative Crises in the Development of the Adoptive Family, and her book, The Family of Adoption (Beacon Press), has received high acclaim. Dr. Pavao has received many awards and honors, including the Children’s Bureau/U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Adoption Excellence Award for Family Contribution (2003) and the Congressional Coalition on Adoption award for Angels in Adoption (2000). http://www.pavaoconsulting.com/ https://www.facebook.com/Dr.JoyceMaguirePavao https://twitter.com/GetKinnected https://www.linkedin.com/in/kinnect/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How do you feel about your wounds? Do they scare you? Do you just want them gone? Do you yearn to feel whole? What if you had a different relationship with them? Saw them as gifts. The cracks that let the light in. Listen in as we go deep to new perspectives on trauma. And peace. Here's an interview with the Headless way guy https://dramyjohnson.com/2024/04/ep298-the-headless-way-with-richard-lang/ Here's a link to his website https://headless.org/ There's pain and beauty in adoption. Donna like she's been healing her whole life. But coming out of the fog was a shock to her system. Listen in as she shares her insights on an expanding awareness of her self. That's where the most profound shifts are happening that are powering on to a better life. Listen to her first interview at https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/painfully-beautiful-with-donna-joseph https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-joseph-6a277a6/ https://www.facebook.com/donna.joseph123 https://www.instagram.com/iamdonnajoseph https://www.facebook.com/HealingAdoptee/ https://www.youtube.com/@donnamariejoseph Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Feeling unloved hurts like hell. And most of us have felt that way. I know i've felt that my birth mother didn't love me enough to keep me. But what if we feel are adoptive parents didn't want us? Reading about some doubt her parents had in adopting her turned Patti's life upside down. Listen in as we go deep on feeling loved, wanted and enough. Patti Eddington is a newspaper and magazine journalist whose favorite job ever was interviewing the famous authors who came through town on book tours. She never dreamed of writing about her life because she was too busy helping build her husband’s veterinary practice, caring for her animal obsessed daughter—whose favorite childhood toy was an inflatable tick—and learning to tap dance. Then fate, and a DNA test, led her to a story she felt compelled to tell. Today, the mid-century modern design enthusiast and dance fitness teacher enjoys being dragged on walks by her ridiculous three-legged dog, David, reading with her Siamese cat Symon Francis O’Toole on her lap and watching the egrets and bald eagles from her deck on a beautiful bayou in Spring Lake, Michigan. https://pattieddington.com/ https://www.instagram.com/pattieddingtonauthor https://www.facebook.com/people/Patti-Eddington-Author/100091516900287 https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Three-Birthdays-Adopted-Daughters/dp/1647426502 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Do you struggle with your desperate parts? Do you yearn to feel whole? Listen in as Mee Ok shares her learnings on healing body, mind and soul. A particularly dramatic episode - she was given just 5 years to live. Born in Korea, Mee Ok Icaro (pronounced “mēˈōk i’kä’rō”) was renamed “Mandy” by her white, evangelical parents who adopted and raised her in California and Arkansas. After narrowly escaping conversion therapy but unable to avoid sitting next to Sarah Huckabee Sanders in Spanish class, she attended Boston University to study philosophy and the classics, but ended up majoring in partying, sleep, and girls. Ten years later she graduated and worked at Harvard as a research assistant in an office next to Timothy Leary’s old digs, while taking courses in history, film, medicine, literature, and German. After being diagnosed with scleroderma and given five years to live, Mee Ok was bedridden for three years until she began drinking ayahuasca, a shamanic brew from the Amazonian jungle, which gave her back her legs. She eventually obtained her MFA in Creative Writing, studying poetry, prose, and drama. Since then, she has been writing, pursuing the path of earth medicines, and trying to become the person she was meant to be. https://www.facebook.com/dasmeeok https://twitter.com/dasmeeok https://www.instagram.com/dasmeeok HoldingCompassionate.space Mee-ok.com Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

If we're ok with not feeling ok, we're always ok. Listen in as we dive into healing, coping, peace and more. You'll love Alice's honesty and humour. Here's a bit about Alice's last interview. Listen on as Alice shares how she found the patience and persistence on her quest to find and meet her birth mother. There are bags of insights, realisations, twists and turns. Buckle up for a rollercoaster of a ride. Listen to it here https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/patience-persistence-with-adoptee-alice-diver Here is a link to the publication Alice mentions https://drive.google.com/file/d/1b2nqk1B6XrYH1qRez_tryDW34Yv0qSmd/view?usp=sharing Here is a link to her profile and research https://pure.qub.ac.uk/en/persons/alice-diver/publications/ Here's a link to the webinar video I mention https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ&t=224s Here's a link the webinar on another podcast episode https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/whole-healing-my-primal-wound-webinar-recording Connect with Alice on Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/alice-diver-b6939545 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Join Fireside Adoptees so you can join our free taster event on 11th May 2024 and the mini course on 18th and 19th May 2024: https://www.facebook.com/groups/firesideadoptees Link to the book I mention: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Force-David-Hawkins-M-D/dp/1401945074 Here's the link to Jude's blog post about gratitude and frequency using David Hawkins' scale of consciousness. https://fhwithjude.com/gratitude-3-0/ Connect with Jude https://www.facebook.com/jude.a.hung https://www.instagram.com/finding_home_with_jude https://fhwithjude.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We didn't choose to be adopted. We had no power over what happened to us. So how do we take the power back? What can do to develop our identity on our terms? Powerful stuff from Diego. Here's a bit about Diego from his website: Hi, my name is Diego; I am an adoptee from Colombia, S.A. (5ish years old) who is a relationship and family therapist in the state of Washington. I am an adoptee-focused therapist, centering on adoptee voices and their adoptee identity development through their lived experiences; pre and post-adoption. I am also passionate about relationships regardless of their structure (hetero, consensual non-monogamy - CNM, polyamory, and LGBTQIA+); I believe all individuals in a relationship deserve to be heard and witnessed, opening avenues for a broader understanding of others and ultimately, deeper connections. As a systemically trained relationship therapist, I am also intrigued by how relationships function and how they can be bettered through a greater understanding of the larger and smaller contexts connected to those in a relationship(s). I lean heavily on racial and feminist theory in working with relationships; owning white and male privilege is vital to the better understanding of those who hold less power; it creates pathways to empathy & connection. It is a privilege to sit alongside those willing to be vulnerable in the name of personal growth. I offer virtual sessions for clients in Washington State; I look forward to the opportunity to work with you if you feel we would be a good fit and begin the journey to an improved sense of self. Find out more at: adopteefocusedtherapy.com https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1498807549 https://www.instagram.com/diego.vitelli/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/diegovitelli/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Do you feel wounded? Do you yearn to feel whole? Tifin started searching for her biological family at 19. Listen in to what she's learned about wholeness since then including insights from coaching and astro-coaching. https://www.tifindillon.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1776536339297503 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVkdPPGv968-oUSl-NUKsCw Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

No-one asks a bereaved person if they've healed from the trauma of their loss. So why should others ask us if we're over the trauma of the loss of our birth family. What if we explored processing trauma rather than healing it? That's Tony's take. Listen in to a different take on relinquishment. It'll get you thinking. And processing. Here's a link to Tony's previous interview on belonging. Listen in to Tony's learnings on feeling and creating that sense of belonging with insights on being comfortable in the uncomfortable, exploring culture, communication and much more. Fascinating. https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/belonging-with-tony-hynes-interracial-adoptee-training-specialist Tony, a former foster youth and adoptee, was adopted by a same sex couple in the mid 1990’s. He writes about his experiences growing up as both an interracial adoptee and as a child growing up in a same sex headed household in his memoir “The Son With Two Moms.” Connect with Tony: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anthony-hynes-283aa941/ https://www.facebook.com/TonyHyness/ https://www.instagram.com/tony_hy/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Some moments on healing journeys are HUGE - Transformational. They don't come any bigger than what Sarah experienced during labour. Listen in as she shares her lessons from this transformational moment and beyond. Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

What's wrong with me? Perhaps our most fundamental question. One we can answer intellectually 'nothing'. Or we can see that we are perfect - in theory. But how do we get to that place in our soul, gut or bones. How do we transcend cellular shame to love ourselves unconditionally? Listen into Lilly's learnings on healing. Profound and empowering, just like we like our interviews on Thriving Adoptees. We're still a niche but boy do we go deep to share catalysts. We heal together. https://www.instagram.com/anspach_ https://www.linkedin.com/in/lilly-anspach-097a294/ https://www.facebook.com/carrie.anspach Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Trigger warning: mention of suicidal ideation. Sometimes we have to break down to break through. Our biggest insights come in our lowest moments. So what's the biggest insight? The insight with infinite levels: there's nothing wrong with us. All is, in fact, right with us. We are perfect with our imperfections. Listen in as Sue, adopted in the 1950's, shares her breakthrough healing moments. Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Have the most popular ways to heal left you still feeling wounded? Perhaps it's time for a different approach. Listen in as Zhen shares what has helped her feel whole. A conversation full of healing nuggets. Here's a bit about Zhen's first interview: Are you a transracial/transnational adoptee with a complex relationship to your birth country/culture? Listen in as Zhen shares what she's learned navigating that complexity. Highly empowering. Here's a link to Zhen's first interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/zhen-rammelsberg Zhen E Rammelsberg is a Korean American adoptee and new playwright and has had her Heuer Play Canst Thou Hearest Thee Now produced and performed in multiple states. She has traveled to a few of these states to see the productions. Her newest play loosely based upon her adoption story called Black Box: An Adoption Choreopoem is yet unpublished but has been performed in Chicago at an all Asian American Playwiting festival and was most recently performed in Cedar Rapids Iowa at the Underground Playwriting Festival where it won 3 awards Best Youth Performer, Best Ensemble and Runner Up for Best New Play. Zhen E resides in Marion Iowa with the Spock to her Kirk of a husband Robert and her 2 cats Toulouse and Pip. The Rammelsbergs split their time traveling from Iowa to Milwaukee to visit their son and also to Korea. As well as being a part time playwright, Zhen E is a part time massage therapist, part time Wedding Official, part time wig and make up technician for several local theatre and opera companies, and Full Time lover of Hello Kitty and a Student of Life and Philanthropist. https://www.facebook.com/zhen.e.rammelsberg https://www.instagram.com/zhenerammelsberg https://www.linkedin.com/in/zhen-e-rammelsberg-03448021/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Does trauma feel dark to you? Does that darkness take you down? I know it has that effect on me. So how do we find more lightness? Listen in as Jennifer points us to toward a lighter life. Here's a link to the interview with Jill Bolte Taylor https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/with-jill-bolte-taylor Here's a bit about Jennifer's first interview: The powerful emotions we adoptees feel can sometimes threaten to overwhelm us. So how do we get past those feelings? Listen in as fellow adoptee and podcaster Jennifer and I explore trauma, deceit, identity, mindful awareness and much more. Here's a link so you can listen to it https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/acceptance-with-jennifer-dyan-ghoston Here's a bit about Jennifer from her website: Hi, I'm Jennifer who is an adoptee in reunion with both sides of my birth family. I have been connected with the adoption community for over a decade and am always interested in hearing the personal stories of adoptees from all over the globe. I was born and raised in Chicago, IL. and in foster care for two years before my adoption. Prior to my 48th birthday, I set the intention to search for my birth family. The Truth So Far… is a memoir of my willingness to be open, honest and public about my adoption experience. Once Upon A Time...In Adopteeland, the podcast is another way for me to hopefully add a valuable resource to the adoption community from the perspective of the adoptee. https://www.jenniferdyanghoston.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jenniferdyanghoston https://www.facebook.com/Onceuponatimeinadopteeland/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Trauma can wreak havoc at every level. Psychologically. Emotionally. Sociologically. Biologically. Spiritually. Theresa's body knew she was an alien but she wasn't told that she was adopted until 19. Listen in as she shares a lifetime's insights into healing at every level. https://www.instagram.com/theresaknor https://www.facebook.com/theresa.knorr/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-m-knorr-carc-243543b/ https://www.tiktok.com/@taichi4recovery https://tknorr12.wixsite.com/wellnesseducator Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Do you yearn for more peace? Listen in as we dive into the profound place underneath our trauma. The place we feel at home and at peace. At some level, often unconscious, many of us believe that a good reunion will make us whole again. But that reunion might not even happen. And even if it does, we haven't got a clue how well it will go. So where's the hope given all the unknowns? How best should we navigate the process? Adoptee Heather shares her what she's learned from her own reunion and coaching fellow adoptees on their own journeys. Heather G. Marshall was born in Leith, Scotland and grew up in Kilmarnock. From there, she emigrated to Kinsale, Ireland with her family before moving to the United States. Her fiction and creative nonfiction are published in literary journals in both the US and the UK. Her first novel, The Thorn Tree, is set in South Carolina and on the islands of Arran and Skye in Scotland. Here's a link to Heather's previous interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/healing-reunion-with-heather-g-marshall https://heathergmarshall.com/ https://www.instagram.com/heather_g_marshall/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Trying to push away, numb or suppress tough emotions is exhausting and a short term fix if it works at all. We have to feel it to heal it. Nicky shares wisdom bombs to help us heal, including one that really landed for me - making friends with shame. It's so counter to what we normally do. Nicky Hammond is a transracial adoptee who was born in South Korea. She and her identical twin sister were adopted by white parents in Sydney Australia. She currently lives with her hubby, two primary school aged boys and a Staffordshire Bull Terrier in the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Nicky is a breathwork facilitator, master coach and former coach instructor. She is an expert in deep enquiry and using somatic practices to heal and expand. She is on her own healing journey using a whole range of modalities to heal. She calls herself The Coach's Coach because she is passionate about helping other coaches deepen their coaching conversations, so they can help facilitate their clients’ transformation and create ethical businesses aligned with their own values. Nicky has been using breathwork to nurture her own nervous system for years and loves sharing it, to help other people take care of themselves, heal, transform and flourish. https://www.facebook.com/CoachsCoach.co/ https://www.instagram.com/coachscoach.co https://www.coachscoach.co/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/coachscoach/ https://www.tiktok.com/@coachscoach.co Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

As a wise man once said to me, what we resists persists. So how do we accept the tough stuff we've been through? How do we get to the peace that lies at the other side? Listen in as Stephen shares hard won learnings. Powerful! https://www.instagram.com/stephen_sternejr/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sas-jr/ Here are some links to episodes with birth mothers Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Has trauma imprisoned you? Created a trauma bound identity that feels like a life sentence? Listen in as Jude shares the hard won insights that have set her free. This interview was originally a Facebook Live. The first live an in person interview we've done on Thriving Adoptees. It's one of the most powerful and freeing of all 450 plus episodes. We hope it catalyses some insights for you. https://www.facebook.com/jude.a.hung https://www.instagram.com/finding_home_with_jude https://fhwithjude.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.