DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better

“Don’t slate broccoli” The panel of peril stub out their cigarette, cigar, and pipe under the heel of their cowboy boot and head into a convenience store that is showing this week’s film, Loaded Weapon 1 (Gene Quintano, 1993), for some reason. Detectives Colt (Emilio Estevez) and Luger (Samuel L Jackson) are the prototypical chalk + cheese = dynamite buddy cop team. Colt is a tortured soul who dines on microwave burritos and laments the loss of his precious dog Claire. Luger is the family man who dines on take out pizza ‘round the table with his ‘loving’ family. Can they unravel the mystery of the Wilderness Girls cookies, and discover General Mortars (William Shatner) and Mr. Jigsaw (Tim Curry)’s wicked plan? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ET5XJqPAW0 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** The dastardly duo is seeking a microfilm that contains the recipe to disguise delicious cocaine as delicious cookies. As schemes go, it’s a bit of a doozy, and Mortars has no compunction about sending helicopters and bazookas and men dressed as girl scouts after his enemies (and eating piranhas). Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Mortars’ cookie-laundering plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“De Palma knows, the old saying goes” Our name is Possible, Mission: Impossible, license to watch the film Mission: Impossible directed by cinematic genius Brian De Palma (1996). And that my friends is our impossible mission (impossible). And we did it. An elite IMF team led by Jim Phelps (Jon Voight) has come a serious cropper trying to secure a non-official cover (NOC) list, which could potentially reveal the entire Impossible Mission Force’s workforce, locations, and names. The team are double-crossed in Prague eliminating Sarah (Kristin Scott Thomas), Jack (Emilio Estevez) et al leaving just Ethan (Tom Cruise) and Claire (Emmanuelle Beart) standing. Disavowed and on the run, can they swipe the real NOC list and discover the mole? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohws8y572KE ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** It’s Phelps and his femme fatale wife Claire, darn it all! A cat and mouse game ensues, spanning from the CIA’s headquarters in Langley, to the Channel Tunnel rail line that runs beneath the English Channel. Time is not on Ethan’s side as the IMF, led by Kittridge (Henry Czerny), hunt Hunt down as he engages in a potentially deadly game of brinkmanship in attempting to forge the sale of the NOC list to arms dealer Max (Vanessa Redgrave) in order to draw out the Lando of the team. Yes, it is quite complicated to keep track of it all! Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Phelps’s evil plot? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“If you’ve got a better way to do it, I’d like to hear it” The panel of peril are dancing down the street stark naked, with only conveniently placed every-day items covering their ghoulies and that. They got the idea, and carefully choreographed it, from this week’s film Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (Jay Roach, 1997). This week, they are joined by Craig from Whit’s The Script podcast! Arch enemies Austin Powers (Mike Myers) and Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) are inexorably linked, as so many arch enemies are. So when Dr. Evil has himself frozen in swinging 1967, Austin is obliged to follow suit, both thawing out 30 years hence in the responsible 90s. Both have adjustments to make, Austin with the help of Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley) and Basil Exposition (Michale York), and the good (evil) Doctor with Number Two (Robert Wagner) and Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vsANcS4Ml8 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Conspiring to steal an arsenal of nuclear weapons and hold the world to ransom – for one million dollars – Austin and Vanessa are in a race against time to stop the world going kablooey! But will the horny, randy, sexy superspy be able to resist the charms of a beautiful, and deadly, army of Fembots? Not likely if I know Powers, hahahahahahaha… He might though. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Dr. Evil’s high-stakes plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Like an alien Kinder Egg” The panel of peril are playing chess in the park with their father and losing badly, very sad. They are interrupted by an enormous screen descending from the heavens covering the city that they are currently in in its entirety. Fortunately, the giant screen is showing this week’s film Independence Day (Roland Emmerich, 1996). Huzzah! Steven Hiller (Will Smith), David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman) are the original odd triple. One’s a hot shot, top gun fighter pilot, one’s a nerd, and t’other is President of the United States!!! But when aliens arrive on Earth without ringing ahead to check it’s okay first, our triptych of colossal talent will need to come together to expel those inconvenient visitors. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1E7h3SeMDk ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Yes, rather like an uninvited visitor who rinses you of your secret stash of foie gras and cognac, these off world interlopers plan to strip the plant – our god damn planet – of all its resources leaving us humans either bereft or dead. Not on the USA’s watch, buckos. Galvanising the entire planet against this deadly incursion, will endure or will those awful, awful martians have their tentacles raised in victory? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the aliens’ planet-knackering plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Ya been cream pied” The panel of peril are out shooting some hoops, only stopping to berate their teammates for their lack of reflexes and general playing skill. Giving up they retire to the indoor communal area to watch this week’s film One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (Milos Forman, 1975). McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) is a ne’er-do-well with a cunning scheme to serve out the remainder of his prison sentence in a mental health institution. Once safely ensconced in his new abode, McMurphy becomes chummy with his fellow patients: Billy (Brad Dourif), Cheswick (Sydney Lassick), Chief (Will Sampson) and aaaaalll the rest. But his plan for the easy life and swift release soon hits a roadblock in the form of Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXrcDonY-B8 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Ratched is a bit of an ol’ passive aggressive, control freak sort, you see. The majority of her patients are voluntary, yet she rules over them with an iron fist – controlling every aspect of their daily routines, and by extension their lives. Can McMurphy escape the confines of his prison by a different name, or does the good nurse have his number? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the evil scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Tia Carrera’s career was ruined by Tia Maria” Sweaty-browed and cramped of hand, the Panel of Peril draw furiously in real-time each and every frame of this week’s film Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (Bruce Timm and Eric Radomski, 1993). Soon they shall break for a feast of marshmallows; they have earned it. Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy) has lived with the trauma of his parents’ death since he was a young boy. Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany) has lived with the trauma of her father’s death since she and Bruce had a whirlwind romance and brief engagement. When a mysterious figure known only as the Phantasm (Stacy Keach) begins to haunt both Batman and the men associated with Andrea’s father it will lead them down a path that they may never recover from. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PK5CYZlHMA ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Beaumont Sr. made a deal with the mob and it eventually cost him his life. Conveniently enough a member of Gotham’s mob at the time was arch Bat-nemesis The Joker (Mark Hamill), so get him in there! Can Batman unmask the Phantasm before they exact terrible revenge, and what will be the cost on his fragile psyche? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How the heckins can they improve upon this week’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? WWE’s Bray Wyatt reveals The Fiend here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kza7j4aae4 https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“She had the longest neck in the history of actors” The Peril of Peril arrive in Los Angeles, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Everyone loves them because they’re brilliant, and they make fast friends with an amnesiac who tells them to watch this week’s film Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001). A Cowboy watches them as they watch the film. Betty (Naomi Watts) is an actress who is sure to feature on all the hottest casting lists in LA. She is great. But when she gets drawn into the mystery surrounding the amnesiac ‘Rita’ (Laura Harring), the twosome find themselves struggling to comprehend a world filled with missing cash, put upon mafiosos, blue keys, a put upon movie director (Justin Theroux), a diner named Winkie’s, a club named Silencio, and a calmly intimidating Cowboy (Monty Montgomery). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbZJ487oJlY ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** What happens next is famously open to interpretation. Revealing a new set of characters, near identical in appearance, over 90 minutes in, again played by Watts and Harring, hints that perhaps everything was a dream until that point, or perhaps they are doppelgangers, or whatever you would like it to be. You really do need to see it for yourself, and come to your own conclusion, folks. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the evil scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Talladega Nights gets a lot better after you've seen Rise of Skywalker, that's for sure” The Panel of Peril run and gun all your favourite film and video games characters in one fluid motion, before removing their VR headset in order to watch this week’s film. That film is Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg, 2018), and they are joined by Kevin and Jason from KJ & A Podcast! Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) is just like most people in the year 2045; he gets through the day any way he can before escaping to the virtual reality of the OASIS to enact his fantasies. But when the now-deceased VR creator Halliday (Mark Rylance) challenges the players to find his hidden easter egg, and gain control of the OASIS, the virtual race is on – and it will be fought to the literal death. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSp1dM2Vj48 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Nicolas Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn) plans to find the egg for his own nefarious ends. He will monetise the OASIS, restricting access for those on the lowest incomes, thereby turning a dream playground into a corporate nightmare. Starring the likes of (friend of the pod) Batman, Chun Li, Chucky and Mecha Godzilla, RP1 is certainly a film with lots of stuff to point at when you spot it. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Sorrento’s OASIS-hijacking plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“It’s like a meet-cute for two people who already met some time ago” The Panel of Peril go to the travel agents to book themselves a lovely holiday. Their conditions for travel are thus: nice weather, entertainment provided by British reggae band, and strictly no terrorists. While the agent searches for the ideal trip, they watch this week’s film Speed 2: Cruise Control (Jan De Bont, 1997). Peering over their shoulder to join in the watch party is this week’s guest, Kris Tapley from the 50MPH Pod! How can kind of a similar thing happen to the same person twice? That’s the question Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) asks herself as she and latest beau Alex Shaw (Jason Patric) fall foul of a bad guy’s evil scheme. But instead of a fairly high-speed bus, John Geiger (Willem Dafoe) has taken (cruise) control of a luxury liner for his own nefarious ends. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnvvh9PLWGQ ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Geiger has an axe to grind with the cruise operators who left him with copper poisoning and sent him packing once he had designed the ship’s computer systems. Well, you would, wouldn’t you? He plans to divert the Seabourn Legend off course and into the path of an oil tanker, bringing the passengers’ lives to an explosive end. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Geiger’s evil plot? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Father Ted’s version of Speed 3 is previewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSstu2tzrng Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Rager At Sea is previewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6WUFc_8MFw https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Mr. Bond, you appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season” The Panel of Peril saunter through a small mining town in their fancy BMW, before being inexplicably arrested for not stopping at an intersection. Swiftly tried and convicted, they are sentenced to watch this week’s movie Nothing But Trouble (Dan Aykroyd, 1991). They are joined in this gross punishment by this week’s guest, Jesse Hawken from the Junk Filter Pod! Chris Thorne (Chevy Chase) is a financial publisher who just wants to impress solicitor Diane Lightson (Demi Moore) by driving her, and two Brazilian wackos, to Atlantic City. Taking an unforeseen detour, they wind up in Valkenvania, a mining town that has fallen on hard times, and fall foul of local cop Dennis (John Candy) and decrepit Judge Valkenheiser (Aykroyd). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbvIjtP7lxE ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Seeking reparations for a dodgy deal he was sold years ago, the JP is a twisted ghoul of a man with a literal rollercoaster death machine, and a lethal funhouse awaiting anyone who crosses him – especially bankers. Therefore, he has a vested interest in punishing the high-flying Chris and chums when they wind up in his courthouse. It’s a comedy guys; but not as we know it! What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon Judge Valkenheiser’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical? The (brutal) Roast of Chevy Chase can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG4W0OfzJjM The German trailer for Valkenvania can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RGBvBsgc8E An excellent documentary on the town that Valkenvania (and Silent Hill) was based on can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lftblcp0Ns&t=8soutube.com https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Is he just horny?” The Panel of Peril climb a big ol’ mountain to claim a mythical prize to aid them in their epic quest. That prize is a DVD of this week’s film; that quest is to watch that DVD, which is this week’s film Krull (Peter Yates, 1983). Upon climbing back down the mountain, they are met well by this week’s guest panel member, Matt Spectro! Prince Colwyn (Ken Marshall) and Lyssa (Lysette Anthony) are happily betrothed to be married, after which they will rule over the planet Krull, presumably with a lavender fist. Their son is also prophesied to rule over the galaxy, and so they, as you can imagine, are absolutely delighted. But the arrival of a warlord known as The Beast (Tim Dry/Trevor Martin) and his army puts the kibosh on their destinies. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndpV6qfQJVw ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Gathering a band of merry men/fellowship as they traverse the countryside of Krull, Prince Colwyn, Torquil (Alun Armstrong), Ergo (David Battley) and a kindly Cyclops (Bernard Bresslaw) march on The Beast’s teleporting castle. He means to take Lyssa’s hand in marriage himself, and therefore rule the galaxy by proxy. Will Colwyn and the gang be able to locate the Black Fortress in time to stop him? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon The Beast’s prophecy-hijacking plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Surprise! Butcher’s hook up your nostril” The Panel of Peril start creepily speaking Latin, wield small, sharp weapons at one another, but thankfully stop short of gouging their own eyes out. They’ll be needing those to watch this week’s film Event Horizon (Paul WS Anderson, 1997). The crew of the Lewis & Clark are your typical blue-collar bunch. Miller (Laurence Fishburne), Starck (Joely Richardson), Smith (Sean Pertwee) are not best pleased when they are sent on a shaggy dog mission to recover the long-lost mega-ship the Event Horizon. The ship’s creator Weir (Sam Neill) is along for the ride, much to the crew’s chagrin, but where has the Horizon been all these years? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nlkEY-3CMI ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Well… Weir explains that the ship has the ability to fold the universe in on itself, and so it turns out that it has been in… Hell! And now it wants the crew of the Lewis & Clark dead, manipulating Weir as its henchman of destruction. Can the guys and gals better their inner demons, actual demons, and BOMBS, and escape with their souls intact? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon an evil spaceship’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“That's what you get for inviting audience participation” The Panel of Peril slip out of their wet clothes and into a dry martini, before taking a pew to watch this week’s film The Man With The Golden Gun (Guy Hamilton, 1974). Has James Bond (Roger Moore) met his match in the charming, villainous and charmingly villainous Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee)? As the world’s best secret agent (that’s Bond) and the world’s most expensive assassin are pitted against one another, can 007 stop the world being held to ransom by the selling of Scaramanga’s nefarious Solex solar power? Perish the thought. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF5fr3Zhi7E ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** There’s also the small matter of Scaramanga sending Bond a bullet that literally has his name on it! If I know James Bond, he’s not going to stand for that! And he doesn’t, so I am right! Culminating in a memorable funhouse duel on Scaramanga’s secret island lair, Bond will also have to contend with devious manservant cum gamesmaster Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize) in his fight for survival. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Scaramanga’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Alice Cooper’s rejected theme tune can be heard here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMKPTSE14tY Sound effect: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/spy-game-56943/ Sound effect: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/malathion-85943/ Music: https://pixabay.com/music/pulses-007-bond-more-on-spotify-bruno-magic-148987/ Music: https://pixabay.com/music/bossa-nova-dream-by-dreams-143531/ https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“You simply must introduce me to that pile of rats” The panel of peril down a big glass of red wine and eat a plate of delicious, steamed broccoli and roasted garlic before taking in this week’s film Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Francis Ford Coppola, 1992). Count Dracula (Gary Oldman) is an elderly gent rattling around in his large home, pining after his lost love Elisabeta (Winona Ryder). When solicitor Jonathon Harker (Keanu Reeves) turns up at his gaff to seal a London property deal, he sees that Harker’s bride to be Mina Murray (also Ryder) is the reincarnation of his centuries dead love. Can the Count win the heart of Murray or will Harker wed her as planned? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgFPIh5mvNc ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** He’s a vampire! Blah! Dracula has travelled oceans of time to find Mina and nothing will stop him from being with her now. Snacking on her best friend Lucy (Sadie Frost), avoiding blood expert Abraham Van Helsing (Anthony Hopkins) and manipulating henchman Renfield (Tom Waits), it seems as though ol’ Drac has every base covered. Will he make off with a new bride, or will a stake be put through his ambitions? What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon Count Dracula’s bloody scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“A haiku?” Fighting their way past a load of goons, down a narrow corridor, the panel of peril struggle to make any headway. Finally finishing off the last of the lads (no laughing at the back there!), they slump in their chair exhausted and watch this week’s film Oldboy (Park Chan-wook, 2003). Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik) is a bit of a d-bag. A drunken, irresponsible, womanising d-bag, to be specific. When he is inexplicably locked up in a single room for 15 years, by a cash-rich lad named Lee Woo-jin (Yoo Ji-tae) as it turns out, he changes his ways and becomes a stoic killing machine. Why was he imprisoned, and just how does new flame Mi-do (Kang Hye-jeong) fit into this intricate puzzle? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNBpNcuQHI ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Turns out that during their time at Evergreen, Dae-su started a scurrilous rumour that Woo-jin was having an incestuous affair with his own sister Soo-ah (Yoon Jin-seo). That rumour snowballed to the point that Soo-ah took her own life and led her broken-hearted brother on a path of long game vengeance. To tell all would be a spoiler too far. Who will come out on top of this tragic tussle and what will be left of them? Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Woo-jin’s deliberate machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Here lies Will Carling, the rugby guy who sh@gg3d Diana” The panel of peril try to wrangle their pigs into the pigpen but repeatedly fall over and get all muddy. They shower off at the water hole and decide to watch a film instead: Unforgiven (Clint Eastwood, 1992). 1880: Ex-outlaw Bill Munny (Eastwood) was a bad, bad man before settling down and becoming a family man. He’d happily off women and children in his pursuit of dough alongside buddy Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), and now he is drawn back into that world by the Schofield Kid (Jaimz Woolvet). Pursuing a bounty put on the heads of two lads who have scarred up a sex worker’s face. Will Munny claim the bounty? One man stands in his way – unscrupulous Sheriff Little Bill (Gene Hackman). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftTX4FoBWlE ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Little Bill is no fan of bounty hunters, gun slingers, ‘n’ outlaws. Just as quickly as they arrive in the town of big Whiskey, Bill is kicking the tar out of them and sending them on their merry way. Will Bill, Ned and the Kid be able to circumnavigate the control freak lawman, and will the claiming of the bounty cost them more than they stand to gain? What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“He's not rump; he's tripe” The panel of peril finish inspecting the last of the cow’s udders on the farm they’re working on and head home to watch this week’s film Napoleon Dynamite (Jared Hess, 2004). Napoleon (Jon Heder) is a typical teen: he lives with his Grandma (Sandy Martin), brother Kip (Aaron Ruell), and an alpaca named Tina. He enjoys doing sweet jumps on bikes, sketching mythical creatures of his own creation, and catching delicious bass’ for romantic targets. But when Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) moves in, it really puts the liger amongst the pigeons. Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHDi_AnqwN4 ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Old Rico isn’t a massive fan of Napoleon. He mocks him to his face, and throws a steak in his face… probably also makes fun of his face off screen. He’s also stuck in the past and desperate to make moolah by any means necessary, whether that be by selling shoddy Tupperware, herbal enhancers, or simply investing in the nascent science of time travel. Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Rico’s cash grabbing scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? Peluca: the original Napoleon Dynamite short film can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SeTfcj3UKI Finally! PORTABLE chopsticks: https://zenminded.uk/products/snow-peak-wabuki-chopsticks-large https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Can we all agree now that it makes more sense than Kurgan being Ric Flair in a carpark'” The panel of peril stand about a bit as a battle rages around them; no one will fight them for some reason. As they are clearly too ‘ard for the other combatants, they head home to watch this week’s film Highlander (Russell Mulcahy, 1986). Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert) can only be killed by the act of decapitation (preferably by sword). He is a member of an exclusive band of centuries-old Immortals who await the Gathering, at which they will fight to the end, and after which there can be only one. Guided by mentor Ramirez (Sean Connery), can Macleod survive to the bitter end and take out arch-nemesis The Kurgan (Clancy Brown)? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omOZyLmNMJs ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** The Kurgan is out for more than just the world domination his final victory would surely guarantee. He wants revenge for the scar Connor’s mentor gave him across the length of his neck, a constant reminder of his near defeat. Each man cuts a swathe through the other Immortals as they march towards a final confrontation in New York City and the prize of The Quickening! Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon The Kurgan’s bulldozer-style plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical? https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“Sh!t happens, wocka wocka!” The panel of peril take a chunk a meat from the salt barrel, a tot of rum from the rum barrel, and a film from the DVD barrel. That film is Muppet Treasure Island (Brian Henson, 1996), and we settle in to watch with this week’s special guest Nemonie Craven! Jim Hawkins (Kevin Bishop) has in his possession a certain map. That map leads to a certain island. A treasure island, in fact. Flanked by Gonzo (Dave Goelz) and Rizzo (Steve Whitmere) they embark on the good ship Hispaniola to find this mysterious isle. Captained by the ‘fiery’ Kermit the Frog (also Steve Whitmere), will the ship sail true to treasure, or is there villainy afoot? Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-37gsH0ideE ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** Also aboard is Long John Silver (Tim Curry) who befriends young Jim in order to get his mucky mits on the precious map. Will the youngster and his felt friends stay one step ahead of the one-legged ne’er-do-well, or will Jim and the gang be cast into the briny for their troubles? What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And what book does Nemonie think would benefit from the Muppet treatment? A taster of Grand Theft Hamlet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5d9wdw-usk A link for Marlow’s Landing: Marlow's Landing: A John Murray Original (JM Originals): Amazon.co.uk: Vieira, Toby: 9781473633179: Books https://twitter.com/diabolicalpod https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/ https://www.facebook.com/diabolicalpod Email diabolicalpod@gmail.com

“It’s a range war – you’re kicking that chimp to death” The panel of peril have just missed their bus and are stranded in the middle of a lonely, windy mountain range. Fortunately, there’s a creepy abandoned house nearby which they settle into to watch this week’s film Phenomena (Dario Argento, 1985). Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly) is an American girl currently taking residence at an all-girls school in Switzerland. Not only that, but she has a psychic connection with the insect world, and moreover loves the little buggers. Sadly, there is a lunatic murderer around the grounds of the school, picking off girls and women seemingly at random. Help is at hand though in the form of wheelchair bound forensic bug expert Professor John (Donald Pleasance) and his chimpanzee nurse Inga (Tanga). Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upUJetCHYFc ********PLOT SPOILER ALERT******** The murderer(s) turn out to be none other than school ma’am Frau Bruckner (Daria Nicolodi) along with her gerbil-faced, freak of a son who has many a crazy thought, I can tell you. Once they manage to capture our young heroine, who or what can possibly save her? The INSECTS?!!! The CHIMPANZEE!!?!! Time/watching the film will tell… Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Bruckner’s loopy machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?