Hops and Box Office Flops

My Fellow Americans is serviceable mismatched duo comedy starring James Garner and Jack Lemmon as two former Presidents on the run from some nefarious government agents. As former political rivals, Russell P. Kramer (Lemmon) and Matt Douglas (Garner) are thrust together after Kramer is framed for a bribe he didn't take. Some decent laughs and witty repartee ensue. This is very much Grumpy Old Men with Presidents and not neighbors. But, hey, that's a winning formula after all! My Fellow Americans, however, did not attain nearly the success of its inspiration. Hence its appearance on this pod. Now, sit back, reflect on your legacy with a Leinenkugel Summer Shandy, and buy that cook book! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are somewhere over the rainbow! This Week’s Segments: Resident Evil Resident Evil Apocalypse And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Primary Colors is a highly embellished take on the 1992 Presidential campaign of Bill Clinton. Using that real life run as inspiration, it tells the story of long-shot democrat hopeful Governor Jack Stanton—a deeply flawed, though well-intentioned politician. Yes, Stanton like his real-life counterpart is a dirty dog. And his wandering eye is a constant source of annoyance for his team. That aside, despite its way over-exaggerated elements, Primary Colors is a solid movie on the machinations of politics. Thus, the awards praise it garnered was well earned. Sadly, its status as a critical darling did not translate to box office success. This movie flopped about as hard as the campaign of Stanton's rival, Gov. Fred Picker. Now, sit back, grab a Sam Adams from the hotel fridge, and pass out those flyers! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are stumping for Stanton! This Week’s Segments: My Fellow Americans And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Campaign is an outlandish look at two dimwits vying for votes on the local stump circuit, and it is quite funny. Democratic candidate Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) duels with Republican Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) for what should've been an uncontested election. Hilarity ensues. What's most shocking about The Campaign isn't the lengths Brady will go to ensure he maintains his seat; it's that the movie flopped. Starring two comedic heavy hitters in their prime, this should've been a no-brainer. Alas, it wasn't, so if you haven't seen it, we recommend you do. Now, sit back, ignore whatever is happening in that porta-john with a Truth from Rhinegeist Brewery, and cast your vote! The Thunderous Wizard and Bling Blake are pushing it real good! This Week’s Segments: Primary Colors And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Swing Vote is about as dated as a film can get, harkening back to a time when politics were more civil and it was conceivable that both parties actually cared about their constituents. In that sense, it's sort of a time capsule peace. It's also an unfunny mess, where we're stuck rooting for a deadbeat dad as two candidates shamelessly jockey for his decisive vote. In Swing Vote Kevin Costner, as Bud Johnson, owns that lone vote. It's up to him to decide the winner of the Presidency. The only issue: He is a moron that isn't particularly interested in the race, nor is he aware of the ramifications exercising this immense civic duty could have. Thus, we're forced to suffer through two hours of him hemming, hawing, and drinking. Yes, he does finally learn his lesson, which culminates in one of the most cheesy scenes we've done on this podcast. Critics and audiences seemed to agree. Neither enjoyed the film. And Swing Vote didn't even make enough at the box office to recoup its modest $21 million budget. Now, sit back, help Bud nurse his hangover with a Mangolorian from Naked River Brewery, and hop aboard President Boone's Money Plane! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are unsure who the hell is actually running in this thing! This Week’s Segments: The Campaign And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Skyscraper is our highest grossing Try Hard Flop, but it’s also our dullest. A paint-by-numbers action movie with very little action to speak of, this thing is a CGI-bloated algorithm of genre tropes. Instead of just allowing the rock to go full 80s badass, we get the wounded warrior poet, who begrudgingly picks back up his “sword” to clear his name and save his family. If only the villains were similarly overwritten. They’re just there because it’s necessary to have them. Skyscraper doesn’t even bother to give them coherent motivations or pathos. Unlike the building in the movie, movie execs should’ve just let this script burn. Now, sit back, gain some liquid courage with a Stumble Berry from Fat Head's Brewery, and jump off that crane! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are lost in this idiotic hall of digital mirrors! Help! This Week’s Segments: Swing Vote And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

White House Down was one of two action movies set in the nation’s capitol in 2013. And it is the far inferior one. Despite costing $80 million more than Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down looks and plays like a cheap replica of the former. Its PG-13 rating is also watered down, robbing the film of any potential for over the top violence. We thought this was America, damnit! Now, sit back, lock and load an X Hero IPA from Revolution Brewing, and keep your hands off the President's Jordans! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are trolling the White House tunnels for Gerald Ford's lost swimsuit! This Week’s Segments: Skyscraper And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Toy Soldiers is the proof that Samwise Gamgee isn't just a stupid, fat Hobbit. He was once a dickish prep school kid, who played by his own rules. Despite his poor behaviors and utter disrespect for authority, he's also capable of heroic feats. That is the central concept behind Toy Soldiers—trust fund kids versus Colombian terrorists. Like all Die Hard-inspired films, we know how it will end—improbably and with a dose of good old American spirit! Though it is now considered a cult classic, this isn't one of the finer clones of the 1988 classic that spawned the genre. Is it serviceable? Sure. But there's a reason it flopped, grossing just above $15 million on a budget of $10 million; and its 41% on Rotten Tomatoes isn't exactly off the mark. But, hey, where else are you going to get to see a bunch of horny teens best vaguely racist depictions of South American ne'er-do-wells?! Now, sit back, smuggle in a few This is Growing Up Hazy IPAs from Roses by the Stairs, and swap those circuits! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake may be a bunch of rejects, but we're going to save the day! This Week’s Segments: White House Down And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

There are many things under siege in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory—the audience, Steven Seagal’s credibility as a tough guy, his belt, and the statutory laws of wherever they filmed. None of those equate to an entertaining action movie, nor should they describe the sequel to a pretty solid film of the genre. Yes, this movie sucks. But, it did essentially end the silly notion that Seagal was anything more than the blowhard that he actually was. We can all thank it for that, at least. Now, sit back, chop open an Oatmeal Porter from Highland Brewing, and hack that Apple Newton! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are knife fighting terrorists on a runaway train! This Week’s Segments: Toy Soldiers And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Filmed during the pandemic, 2025's War of the Worlds was shelved for four+ years before being foisted upon the unsuspecting public. This turd should've never been dusted off. There is nothing less suspenseful than watching Ice Cube fluctuate between looking anxious, angry, disturbed, and smarmy whilst sitting at a computer screen. Literally, that is the film. Now, sit back, ease your migraine with a Hazy Sculpin from Ballast Point Brewing, and stop hacking those drones! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are fighting off the alien invasion with nothing but our moxie and Amazon Prime Air! This Week’s Segments: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Jaws: The Revenge is the sad end to the great white's big screen carnivorous adventures. Last episode, we skewered Jaws 3D for its cheap effects, lack of tension, and overall moronic story. Jaws: The Revenge is somehow worse. Sure, the shark effects are better (however moderately), but the story is nonsensical slop. This time around, the prehistoric predator is out for more than just satisfying its own bloodlust. This hunt is personal. The Brody family is going to pay! Why does this particular shark care so much about their past offenses? That's an impossible question to answer, and, therefore, it probably shouldn't have been asked. Regardless, they're going to get what's coming to them, and neither the laws of physics nor basic logic will stop Jaws! Hell, why are we even debating this?! Just jump on the banana boat and have some fun! Now, sit back, toast to Sean Brody's memory with a Fiddlehead IPA from Fiddlehead Brewing Co., and track those sea snails! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are betting it all with Hoagie at the craps table! This Week’s Segments: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Jaws 3D is the third entry in the killer shark franchise. The original is still widely regarded as a classic. The second is a watchable flick with some decent gore. This one, however, is a shipwreck of epic proportions. From its shoddy 3D effects to its dearth of tension, Jaws 3D never offers anything to justify its existence. Yes, money is why, but having a good idea or two wouldn't have hurt. The titular fish terrorizing a SeaWorld isn't exactly fodder for action and excitement. Critics and audiences agreed, sinking the threequel. Sadly, their disdain for Jaws 3D didn't bury the franchise deep enough. It would rise back to the surface one last time for an even dumber adventure. Now, sit back, ease your fears of the great white with a Devil's Ale from SanTan Brewing, and search that sunken pirate ship! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are perfecting our water skiing stunts with Jaws in hot pursuit! This Week’s Segments: Jaws: The Revenge And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Dark Tower is a woeful adaptation of Stephen King's beloved book series. Condensing seven mainline stories into one undercooked film, The Dark Tower lacks any of the elements that made the novels so special. It's a speed run, dumbing down the world and its lore so much that there's really no audience for it. Fans of the books were left dumbstruck, and newcomers were just confused. The Dark Tower is a textbook example of not understanding the property you're adapting. And it very much deserves its 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. No thankee sai, Sony. You botched the hell out of this one. Now, sit back, settle your mind with Black Caddis Porter from Wren House Brewing, and never forget the face of your father! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are beguiling people with our powerful magics! This Week’s Segments: And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Based on a 60s television show of the same name, The Man from UNCLE attempts to merge the cool of James Bond with real-world Cold War era politics. The results are mixed. Directed by Guy Ritchie, it has all the hallmarks of one of his films—quippy banter, smooth action beats, and heroes that ooze charisma. Well, one of the heroes is charismatic. And it's not the one who allegedly is into cannibalism. Henry Cavill is the engine that drives The Man from UNCLE. And just like his turn in The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, he proves he's got the chops to be both comedic and badass. Sadly, audiences never gave this one a chance. On a budget of $75 million, it grossed just north of $110 million. That wasn't nearly enough to warrant the sequel they teased. Now, sit back, stay incognito with a Lord Grey from Three Taverns, and never trust a Nazi scientist! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are enjoying some fine cheese and red wine while Mayor McCheese evades the goons! This Week’s Segments: The Dark Tower And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

As a follow-up to the masterful Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa had a tough road to hoe. It mostly lives up to those lofty expectations, but it also suffers from the same ills that plague most prequels. We essentially knew the titular Furiosa's story. It was told brilliantly through the performance of Charlize Theron. Seeing it fully realized onscreen, as beautiful as it can be, doesn't feel entirely necessary. This only ends one way; we've been privy to that. In the end, your left to wonder whether it would've served this universe better to see what comes next. Why drudge up the past? Critics and audiences, those that actually saw it, loved what Furiosa had to offer. But that aforementioned question must have weighed on the general audience's mind. Grossing more than $200 million less than its predecessor, Furiosa lost a lot of money for WB. It may not have felt necessary, but it certainly deserved a better fate than that. Now, sit back, trade some guzzoline for a Sabre-Toothed Squirrel from Smog City Brewing, and top off your blood bag! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are all shiny and chrome! Witness us! This Week’s Segments: The Man from UNCLE And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

There was a time when Hasbro envisioned a cinematic universe. Battleship was a cog in that misguided wheel, an expensive one at that. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for all us movie goers, Battleship sank before it even hit the seas. Critics and audiences alike found little joy or interest in a $200 million dollar blockbuster based on a slow-paced board game. To be fair, they were all correct. Battleship is a slog of a movie; and its nonsensical plot cannot be saved by the bombastic effects and action. Odds are that within minutes, you’ll be sending an SOS to your TV to find something more entertaining. Now, sit back, arm your tastebuds with a Blind Pirate Blood Orange IPA from Monday Night Brewing, and don't promise any late night snacks if you can't deliver! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are sinking alien ships and dropping super cool one-liners — mahalo mother f%$&er! This Week’s Segments: Furiosa And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Batman Forever attempted to course correct the Caped Crusader's big screen adventures after its predecessor, Tim Burton's Batman Returns, was deemed too dark. Swapping Burton for Joel Schumacher in the director's chair, the film certainly has a different feel than Returns. It trades the dark and moody Gotham for a more campy, neon soaked one. That change may have led to greater receipts at the box office, but it hardly equated to a quality film. Batman Forever isn't without its charms, but it is also a tonal wreck, whiplashing between introspective musings of what it means to be Batman and the Two-Face/Riddler comedy hour. It's no wonder than that its star, Val Kilmer—who stepped in for Keaton—wanted no part of a sequel. Judging by our Batman & Robin pod, he made the right choice. Now, sit back, find the courage to fight crime with a Shiner Black Lager from Spoetzl, and don't over kung-fu your laundry! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are joygasming all over Gotham! This Week’s Segments: Battleship And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a fantastic neo-noir that is carried by outstanding lead performances from Robert Downey, Jr. (RDJ) and Val Kilmer. Written and directed by Shane Black, it is a film that thrives on its witty banter, sleek visuals, and intricate plotting. Ok, that latter bit can sometimes be a bit convoluted, but that doesn't detract from the repartee. Kilmer has never been better than he is here. And RDJ capitalized on his exceptional performance as Harry Lockhart to catapult back into the mainstream. Yes, he's that good in this. Sadly, this movie didn't fare nearly as well at the box office as its spiritual successor, The Nice Guys, nor did it ever get the sequel it so richly deserved. Now, sit back, choke down a Rowdy Peach IPA from Sweetwater Brewing, and avoid peeing on the corpse! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are investigating the untimely and mysterious death of Proto-Cop! This Week’s Segments: Batman Forever And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Island of Dr. Moreau has the ignoble distinction of being the only movie to appear on this podcast twice. But, to be fair, the first episode was in dire need of further conversation. Thus, we've gone back to the island with all manor of misfit mutants. As we suspected, the film remains just as bizarre as ever. Like the ill-fated experiments of the titular doctor, The Island of Dr. Moreau itself is a Frankenstein's monster. Hurricanes, clashing egos, and an emergency director swap (that's not even the half of it) all ensured that this would be just as odd offscreen as it was on. And believe us, all the on-set discord shows in the final product. Yet there is something unexplainably watchable about this movie. Val Kilmer is at his campiest, and Marlon Brando saves what would be a dull affair with his flair for the absurd. Watch it and wonder how it even exists at all. Now, sit back, mutate your mind with a BajaJack Salted Lime Lager from SanTan Brewing Co., and go on two legs! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are hunting, killing, and running with the pack! This Week’s Segments: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Real Genius was Val Kilmer's second big screen appearance. His first, Top Secret!, we also covered on this podcast. Like that one, Real Genius is a tremendous showcase for his immense acting talents. This is a truly great 80s comedy, propelled by the infinite charisma of Kilmer as brilliant slacker Chris Knight. It doesn't hurt that William Atherton plays his despicable foil Professor Jerry Hathaway. Atherton just excels at playing an asshole. Thus, as Knight relishes in making a fool of him, the audience can't help but laugh. Alas, Real Genius is on this pod for a reason. Despite being a cult classic now, it fared poorly upon its release, grossing $13 million on a budget of $8 million. Thankfully, people smartened up, cementing its rewatchable status over the years. Now, sit back, get inspired with a Space Food from Warped Wing Brewing Co., and fill out those entries for the Frito-Lay sweepstakes! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are unwittingly building murder lasers for the government! This Week’s Segments: The Island of Dr. Moreau And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

2024's Road House is surprisingly watchable, even if it pales in comparison to the original. Jake Gyllenhaal does a serviceable job as Elwood Dalton—the bouncer with a penchant for violence but a heart of gold. And the general premise of a man who busts up bar fights for a living is still wildly entertaining. Where this one stumbles is the odd use of CGI to make the fights appear more "brutal." It's often distracting and offputting. Not distracting enough, though, to make you forget how bland and boring Billy Magnussen's villainous Brandt is. He lacks any semblance of the sleaze Ben Gazzara brought as Brad Wesley. Honestly, and it is baffling to type this, the movie is kind of saved by the ludicrous performance of Conor McGregor. He may be high as hell on blow, but he definitely understands the assignment. Now, sit back, get belligerent with an Orange Blossom Pilsner2 from Orange Blossom Brewing Co., and take it outside! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are brokering shady real estate deals in the Florida Keys! This Week’s Segments: Real Genius And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!