Hops and Box Office Flops

Transformers: The Last Knight is the fifth film directed by Michael Bay about the storied toy line. The prior four were of varying quality, but The Last Knight stands out as by far the worst. A convoluted mess, it rewrites the legend of King Arthur, infusing the Autobots into the tale. This, of course, leads to a whole bunch of other nonsense, including Merlin's magical staff being of Cybertron origin. Anyway, as we rumble through this slog, we're treated to secret societies, moronic plot twists, and a smorgasbord of explosions and CGI bombast. It's a lot to digest, folks. Mercifully, though, The Last Knight's poor box office performance and abysmal reviews ensured this would be the last of the so-called Bayformers. Now, sit back, transform your taste buds with an Automatic IPA from Creature Comforts, and don't let Merlin's staff fall into Megatron's hands! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are sliding under giant robots and wielding Excalibur! This Week’s Segments: Johnny Mnemonic And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Last Jedi, despite being a massive financial success, has been highly divisive since its release in December 2017. Sure, there are those who love and defend it, especially for its willingness to subvert expectations. Its detractors, though, often cite The Last Jedi's nonsensical plot and less than favorable depiction of beloved Star Wars hero Luke Skywalker for why they hate it. The pod tends to lean toward the latter. For all its exceptional visuals and some genuinely great Star Wars moments, The Last Jedi often feels like a muddled mess—less a sequel to a $2 billion movie, more a piece of odd fan fiction. Hence the divide between fans. As the middle part of a trilogy, The Last Jedi too often throws away or outright dismisses plot threads from The Force Awakens. When there was still a film to follow it, perhaps writing the characters into a narrative corner wasn't the best idea. Now, sit back, feel the Force with a Mind Haze Cosmic Crusher from Firestone Walker Brewing, and find the master codebreaker! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are seeing who can chug the most thala-siren milk! This Week’s Segments: Transformers: The Last Knight And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

By feeling more like optional homework than obligatory viewing, The Marvels falls into a familiar trap of the Phase 4 and 5 MCU films. And it fails to up the ante for its main heroine from her first solo outing. There is certainly more to juggle here—adding in both Ms. Marvel and Monica Rambeau—but The Marvels fails to find the right balance. The titular three are charming and have decent chemistry. The villain, however, is one of the most paper thin ever produced by the Marvel movie machine. As for the plot, what little there is, it just feels like a retread of better films. Another issue The Marvels shares with some its more recent MCU counterparts is an abundance of cheap looking effects. For a movie with a budget north of $250 million, it looks more like a hastily produced Disney+ show. None of this should've been enough for it to tank as badly as it did, earning just 20% of the first's gross; but it is indicative of the larger MCU issue: too much, too often, too little quality control. Now, sit back, swap places with a Juiced to Jupiter from Fat Head's Brewery, and warm up those pipes for Aladna! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are hijacking the sun! This Week’s Segments: The Last Jedi And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

In 2019, Todd Phillips' Joker, though divisive, received heaps of praise and a box office shattering $1 billion+ take. Joker: Folie à Deux, however, received none of that acclaim or success. That is for good reason. Joker: Folie à Deux is a meandering mess of a film — one that features impromptu musical segments. Those songs, shockingly, are not at all the issue. Instead of carrying on Arthur Fleck's story, Folie à Deux just sort of castrates the character. Certainly, it can be argued that Fleck never intended to become the Joker. But he did. Going back on that in every conceivable way makes for a film with no identity. It honestly feels as if Phillips did not want to make this movie. Their is a palpable disdain that can be felt throughout its trudging two hours. Which begs the question: Why, aside from the potential for a big theatrical haul, was it ever greenlit? The script, like Fleck, is empty. Now, sit back, feed your psychoses with a Psychedelic Rabbit from New Realm Brewing, and stop harassing poor Mr. Puddles! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are gonna build a mountain! This Week’s Segments: The Marvels And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Kraven The Hunter, Marvel's most dangerous huntsman, has always been linked with perhaps their most famed hero, Spider-Man. Yet, for his big screen debut, there is a distinct lack of the web-head. Yes, folks, this is another of Sony's moronic attempts to build a shared universe out of the wall crawlers villains. And, like all those that came before it—Madame Web, Morbius, and the trilogy of Venom films—it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense. The titular predator resembles little the character he's based on. In fact, this movie makes Kraven the Hunter a more benevolent version of the Punisher. He's a straight up hero, leaving one to wonder how this version would ever come to odds with Spider-Man. It should come as no surprise then that this movie flopped and was reviled by critics. Even the most ardent of Kraven supporters didn't ask for this. Now, sit back, track down a Dr. Octoberfest from Next Level Brewing, and look out for the man traps! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are sampling vials of lion's blood to try and gain super powers! This Week’s Segments: Joker: Folie à Deux And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Red One is a big budget Christmas action film with an array of stars to make it shine; it is also a mindless hunk of studio schlock. In it, Santa Claus has been kidnapped by a malevolent holiday witch. It is up to the Rock's Callum Drift (yes, that is his name) to get him back in time for the big day. What follows is a paint-by-numbers blockbuster that is crammed with enough CGI and bad one-liners to rip the seams of even the largest stocking. This thing is a jingle bell mess from start to finish. Hence why it sits at 30% on Rotten Tomatoes and was given a lump of coal at the box office. Red One couldn't even muster enough holiday cheer to break even with its asinine $250 million budget. Now, sit back, get into the spirit with a glass of Evan Williams' Bourbon-infused Eggnog, and rip off some snowmen noses! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are hacking into Santa's secret lair to blow the whistle on his elf sweatshop! This Week’s Segments: And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire directly proceeds the events of 2021's Afterlife, following the Spengler gang as they begin their exploits in the Big Apple. Wider in scope and scale than its predecessor, Frozen Empire features plenty of ghoulish fun for fans of the franchise. However, it's also poorly paced and overstuffed with characters and sub-plots—some of which work far better than others. That latter fact is probably why critics skewered it upon its release. At 42% on Rotten Tomatoes, Frozen Empire is the worst reviewed entry in the storied franchise. Those tepid reactions may have been responsible for its soft box office. Costing $25 million more to produce than its predecessor, Frozen Empire grossed slightly less ($201 million vs $204 million worldwide). Despite that, it is hard to ignore its charms, and the presence of the OG Ghostbusters is sure to make the most pessimistic of us smile. Now, sit back, make the busting feel that much better with a Joe-Joe's Chocolate Vanilla Creme Stout from Trader Joe's, and hit us with that mood slime! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are harnessing our Firemaster powers to put the heat on Garraka! This Week’s Segments: Red One And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Based on a 1980s television show of the same name, The Fall Guy seemed to be on course to be the summer season’s first hit. Screening more than a month before its release at South by Southwest, the buzz (reviews included) for the Ryan Gosling/Emily Blunt film was strong. And with Gosling—who plays the titular character Colt Seavers—coming off of Barbie, his movie star bonafides had never been stronger. Yet, despite all that momentum, The Fall Guy failed to break the bank. It grossed just north of $181 million. Its budget was rumored to be around $150 million—resulting in a break even point of roughly $275 million. The Fall Guy deserved so much better during its theatrical run, especially considering the hell all the stunt people went through to deliver this delightful gem. Now, sit back, take the liquid courage leap after a Long Leash from Sleepy Dog Brewing, and attaque! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Bling Blake, and a special guest are crying in our car listening to T. Swift! This Week’s Segments: Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Borderlands Now, sit back, fuel your anarchy with a Oberon Eclipse from Bell's Brewery, and roll up the damn windows! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are trying are hands at vault hunting. What could go wrong?! This Week’s Segments: The Fall Guy And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Loosely based on the daring exploits of a ragtag group of soldiers during World War II, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a tale of heroism with a Guy Ritchie spin. The film chronicles Operation Postmaster—in which a battalion led by Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) is sent on an off the books mission to disrupt, ideally destroy, the Nazis U-Boat resupply operation. March-Phillips, played with extraordinary flair by Cavill, is joined by an eclectic group of commandos. Though the subject matter is serious, their personalities allow for plenty of fun, and that levity drives The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. As historically embellished as it may be, this is still a journey through the past well worth taking. Now, sit back, gear up for some sabotage with an Old Speckled Hen from Green King, and do not sing in Yiddish! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are prying the nipple clamps off Capt. Cash to free him from Nazi prison! This Week’s Segments: Borderlands And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Sting is a nasty little creature feature that came and went to little notice. Released on under 1,000 screens, this tale of a cosmic spider running amok is sure to make the hairs of any arachnophobe stand up. It's lean; it's mean; and it's got enough gross gore to unsettle even the least squeamish of us. It's like Alien—if the Xenomorph was an eight-legged freak who enjoyed dining on birds, babies, and pups. Now, sit back, drown the ick with a West Bestern IPA from Belching Beaver, and don't you dare whistle! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are washing ourselves with mothball water to keep Sting away! This Week’s Segments: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Oddity, a small Irish film, is one of the better horror movies of 2024. It centers on Darcy, whose twin sister Dani was brutally murdered alone in the remote house she was renovating with her husband. Darcy, who is blind, is a medium. When she touches an object, she can peer into its experiences. She, still unsure of what truly happened to her sister, takes it upon herself to unravel the mystery of Dani’s murder. A slow burn, Oddity is full of creepy visuals and uses its setting to maximum effect. Horror fans should not sleep on this one. Now, sit back, peer into the memories of the deceased with a Hop Chowda Hazy IPA from Goldwater Brewing, and don't ring for the bellhop! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Bling Blake are using Olin Boole's glass eye to track down the real killer! This Week’s Segments: Sting And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

In a Violent Nature is an art house version of Friday the 13th. It's minimalist, lacking a score, and generally follows the killer Johnny around as he tromps through the woods. It's an interesting twist on the classic slasher formula, but its style certainly won't be for everyone. That said, In a Violent Nature deserves credit for daring to be distinct in a genre full of tropes and clones. That alone probably warranted a better at the box office. It grossed just $4.56 million on a budget of $3 million. Good enough to earn it a sequel, but nothing to write home about. Now, sit back, enjoy the serene sounds of nature with a Moose Drool from Big Sky Brewing, and don't touch Johnny's locket! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are trying not to die during our downward facing dog! This Week’s Segments: Oddity And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Terrifier 2 ups the ante of the first film in nearly every way. It is brutal, shocking, and repugnant. Despite that, it is hard not to appreciate the practical effect work of Damien Leone—the film's writer, director, editor, and producer. This is a carnival of splatter. And Art the Clown, the principal antagonist of the Terrifier franchise, is quite creepy. Where the movie fails is in creating a narrative tension. It is disturbing to watch, and the kills only get more grotesque as the movie meanders across its lengthy 138-minute runtime. There is just a distinct lack of pathos to balance out the mayhem. Too often, Terrifier 2 just feels like an endurance exercise. How long can the viewer survive before they've seen enough mutilation? A person's mileage on that may vary. It just does not make for a compelling movie experience. Now, sit back, keep your dinner down with a Smashed Pumpkin from Shipyard Brewing, and remember: there is now why! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Mayor McCheese and Chumpzilla are waving our white flags because we've had all the viscera we can handle! This Week’s Segments: In a Violent Nature And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Rebel Moon – Part Two Director's Cut: Curse of Forgiveness is the ultimate payoff to our team of rebels coming together. Essentially, it all culminates in one massive battle scene, where each of our heroes gets their due. It is a visual feast of explosions, violence, and destruction. And, quite frankly, it is awesome. In the PG-13 cut, The Scargiver, the majority of the battle scenes were in tact; but what makes the Director's Cut so superior is all the small moments of connective tissue it adds. Our investment in the team, as well as the townspeople of Veldt is much greater with the added context. If you choose to watch one version, then Curse of Forgiveness is the way to go. Now, sit back, annihilate your tastebuds with a Suckerpunch Dill Pickle Sour from Destihl, find her, and fight! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are laying the smack down to the Motherworld's forces with an antler in each hand! This Week’s Segments: Terrifier 2 And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Rebel Moon – Part One Director's Cut: Chalice of Blood is the far superior version of the saga’s first installment. Sadly, very few people tuned into the director’s preferred vision of the film when it dropped on Netflix eight months after the PG-13 cut. Chalice of Blood fixes many of the issues from the trimmed down one, providing much needed connective tissue and time for the viewer to breathe. It also enriches the depth of each out heroes—character beats and moments sorely lacking in A Child of Fire. Hyper violent, full of eccentric alien creations, and starring a host of excellent actors, Chalice of Blood deserved a better fate than to be lost in the massive catalogue of its streaming service. Even if you disliked the PG-13 cut, the fully realized R version truly warrants a watch. Now, sit back, prepare for battle with a Vortices Double Hazy IPA from Dark Sky Brewing, and never trust a smuggler! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are assembling a team of the most badass folks in the galaxy for a showdown with the Motherworld! This Week’s Segments: Rebel Moon – Part Two Director's Cut: The Curse of Forgiveness And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Before Bill Cosby was a serial sex offender (well, concurrently really), he was just an unfunny comedian. And Leonard Part Six is his magnum opus of unfunny. Leonard Parker is a secret agent, like a moronic James Bond of sorts. This is technically his sixth adventure. The other five are classified! That latter bit you should be happy about. Why? Because number six is as dumb as humanly possible. It centers on Leonard's battle with the evil Medusa Johnson. Johnson uses animals to enact her nefarious plots, as well as a team of half-naked vegans. Yes, all of this comes into play in a myriad of idiotic scenarios. It's all dumb. None of it is charming, witty, or remotely hilarious. And, by the end, you will try to drown yourself in a vat of Jell-O pudding to escape the madness. Now, sit back, cure your rabbit bites with a Bell’s Hazy Hearted, and prepare to ride an ostrich! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are smiting murderous veggie-loving terrorists with thawed magic meat! This Week’s Segments: Rebel Moon – Part One Director's Cut: Chalice of Blood And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Dana Carvey is an immensely talented and funny comedian. Sadly, Master of Disguise fails in almost every conceivable way to showcase that. It is loaded with one-note jokes and costumes that range from idiotic to absurdly racist. Thus, despite being a mild success financially, it failed to launch his career to the next level. Worse, Master of Disguise was despised by critics, narrowly avoiding a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes by the slimmest of margins—it's a 1%. Audiences were also not in on the gags. And who can blame them? Most of the jokes far extend their welcome, and most of the absurd disguises do too. You'll barely laugh, you may cry, and you'll certainly never think of turtles the same. Now, sit back, blend in with an Oktoberfest from Reformation Brewery, and prepare to steal the Liberty Bell! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are open-hand slapping evil doers and screaming, "Who's your Daddy?"! This Week’s Segments: Leonard Part Six And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Highlander II: The Quickening takes everything you loved about the original and throws it in the dumpster. A sequel in title only, the film is an utter travesty from start to finish. Why? Well, instead of the general premise of them simply being immortals, they are now beings from a different planet. They were sent to Earth as punishment for treason, but also inexplicably granted immortality. It only gets worse from there. Sean Connery returns as Ramirez. Yes, he died in the first one. That doesn't matter here. And, as viewers, it's best not to ask questions. He's charming and famous damnit! Plus, one can't simply expect Highlander II to just coast on bizarre alley sex scenes with Christopher Lambert! But, I digress, Highlander was a cool genre flick with an interesting premise. Sadly, when forced to flesh out their lore, the writers penned some of the dumbest shit to ever grace the screen. It flopped hard, and it deserved to. It also has the distinction of holding a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. There couldn't even be one reviewer that liked it. Now, sit back, drink to your immortal health with a Kilt Lifter from Four Peaks Brewing, and tear down the Shield! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are plotting a coup on our home planet, Zeist! This Week’s Segments: Master of Disguise And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Saturn 3 is, quite frankly, just a bizarre film. It focuses on essentially three characters—played by just Kirk Douglas, Farah Fawcett, and Harvey Keitel—as well as a corny looking robot named Hector. Douglas and Fawcett, as Major Adam and his assistant Alex, work on one of the moon's of Saturn, striving to find solutions to Earth's hunger problem. Keitel, as the menacing Benson, shows up to bring chaos and terror to their lives. Well, really he's just weird, but his robot companion—fueled by his worst traits—becomes a murderous psychopath. That is essentially the movie. It has odd sex scenes, a dearth of tension, some supremely bad ADR over Keitel's voice, and some of the worst practical effects this side of Uranus. Hence why it is hailed as one of the worst movies of all-time, crashing and burning with critics and at the box office. Now, sit back, question your life choices with a tumbler of tequila, and monitor our hydroponics! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are feeding our worst impulses into Hector's collection of baby brains! This Week’s Segments: Highlander II: The Quickening And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!