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30: Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Aw, guys, why? Whyyyyyy? You Did This to Us. You made us watch "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." What did we do wrong? In this Happy Madison production (there’s the first clue this won’t go well), a schlubby single dad who takes his low-end security job too seriously gets caught up in a holiday season heist and has to find a way to save the day. Brett, David, and Nicole had to watch this alleged comedy and found themselves asking questions like, Does the predictable script make this endearing or...


29: RAW

Hoo, boy. This movie. For this week’s “Around the World,” Nicole chose the French-Belgian horror and coming-of-age film, "Raw" (“Grave” in the original French). David knew to brace himself, but poor Brett had no idea what he was in for. Young Justine arrives at veterinary college, where her sister Alexia is already a student. Alexia encourages Justine to awaken one of her appetites during a hazing ritual, and all the rest, unfortunately, follow suit. We tried not to bite off more than we...


28: The Grand Budapest Hotel

For Future Classics this week, David asked Nicole and Brett to watch "The Grand Budapest Hotel." This elaborately constructed, nested diorama of a film is populated with some of the best character actors working today, a couple of up-and-comers, and a few just past their leading-role prime. Lobby boy Zero Moustafa, a foreigner to the fictional country of Zubrowka, becomes the apprentice and friend of Gustave H., the fastidious, refined, yet startlingly profane concierge of the Grand...


27: The Gift

We spun the virtual wheel for “Netflix Roulette” and wound up with a movie we had trouble approaching: 2015’s "The Gift." What at first seems like a “creepy guy starts getting too close to the nice couple” thriller begins to take unexpected turns as the wife starts digging into the creepy guy’s past. The tone of the film is odd, and gets darker and more unsettling as it goes along. Join David, Brett, and Nicole as they ponder things like, Is this the most horrifying movie we’ve watched?...


26: Gran Torino

In this round’s New to Two, Brett introduced David and Nicole to Clint Eastwood’s last good (possibly great) movie, "Gran Torino," a variation on the “crusty old guy teaches young punk lessons about life and manhood while learning a few things himself” story. We took an admiring look at the film’s craftsmanship, and a harder look at its portrayal of the Hmong culture. Does this movie include the “white savior” trope? What if the protagonist is the one who makes the situation bad in the...


25: Jupiter Ascending

We finish this round, as always, with You Did This to Us, in which our audience chooses (translated: punishes us with) a film for us to watch and discuss. This week, winning handily in the poll, was the Wachowskis’ “Jupiter Ascending.” This sci-fi soap opera, which bombed in the US and juuuust made its budget back overseas, has eye-boggling visuals, a brain-boggling script, and the odd stomach-boggling performance. What did our crew make of it? (Spoilers: One of them loves this movie....


24: A Hard Day's Night

We're back! So sorry for the delay the last two weeks. We'll stick around regularly here on out. Enjoy a marathon of three make-up / "sorry we're so late" episodes, beginning with this show! We so appreciate all of our listeners' support; we hope you enjoy this marathon before a return to Monday afternoon releases. We went Around the World again for this episode, stopping just the other side of “the pond” for the fictionalized day in the life of the Beatles, “A Hard Day’s Night.” Join...


23: Drive

It’s Future Classics week, and Nicole brought 2011’s “Drive” in for evaluation. The story is straightforward: Ryan Gosling’s “Driver” works as a mechanic and stuntman by day, and getaway driver by night; his life starts to get complicated when he falls for the pretty young mother in his apartment building. All of us agree on the visual merits of the movie, but do Brett and David share Nicole’s opinion of the content? Is there any substance underneath all the style? Why does Driver do what...


22: Clown

Episode 22 was a “Netflix Roulette” pick, and the luck of the draw brought us “Clown,” a 2014 horror movie about clowns, demons, and why you shouldn’t bully that real estate agent’s kid. There are some typical horror movie tropes, like poor decision-making and doing exactly what you’ve been told not to do, and some surprisingly inventive bits like a whacked-out suicide machine and the look of the demon. Did we like it? Did we hate it? Is it worth watching? Did any of Brett, David, and...


21: Power Rangers

New rotations always begin with “New to Two,” and for Episode 21, David had Brett and Nicole watch (Saban’s) "Power Rangers" (2017) for the first time! Spoiler warning: They didn’t hate it! Listen to us discuss the high points (the slapping, the character of Billy, most of the special effects) and the low points (the “bull milking” gag, clumsy callbacks, “Goldar”) and everything in between! Next week we keep the rotation moving with a Netflix Roulette week. We spun the wheel and ended up...


20: Gremlins 2

For this round of “You Did This to Us,” our audience made a pick that could be considered less cruel than usual, and chose “Gremlins 2.” Gizmo, a small furry monkey elf known as a “Mogwai,” is kidnapped and brought to the Clamp (Trump) building where his human friend Billy coincidentally works. Unfortunately, he accidentally gets wet, evil Mogwai are spawned and metamorphose into nasty Gremlins. Chaos ensues for the next 70 minutes or so. There is inexplicable fourth wall breaking and a...


19: Fences

For our next Future Classics pick, Brett has brought us “Fences,” Denzel Washington’s adaptation of the August Wilson play about fathers and sons, husbands and wives, people of color and the white institutions they have to deal with. Join us as we discuss things like, Does this make a good (and one day classic) movie in its own right? Is Denzel’s character, Troy, a bad man, or a man trying to be a good husband and father and failing at both? And is Viola Davis’ runny nose a distraction...


18: Ong Bak - The Thai Warrior

“No safety nets. No computer graphics. No strings attached.” Our next “Around the World” pick is "Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior," featuring Tony Jaa kicking butt all over Bangkok as he tries to retrieve the head of his village’s scarred Buddha. You have never seen so much jumping, flipping, kicking, elbow strikes to the head, and knees to the FREAKIN’ FACE together in one movie before! Don't miss an enthusiastic discussion about how this film helped revitalize the modern martial arts movie...


17: GoodFellas

In our next “Netflix Roulette” pick, we cover 1990’s "GoodFellas." Wow, being a mobster is great! You make lots of money, you can do whatever you want, and the cops look the other way. The only problem is that when disputes pop up between wiseguys, the arbitration tends to be fatal. Join Brett, David, and Nicole as we discuss this Martin Scorcese classic, the true story of Henry Hill: a half-Irish, half-Italian kid who fell in love with the mob at an early age, but eventually discovered...


16: The Miracle of Morgan's Creek

We begin round four of our go-rounds with a New to Two pick from Nicole, “The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek.” This 1944 Preston Sturges classic was incredibly suggestive for its time, using a lot of coded language to refer to sex and pregnancy, both forbidden to speak of by the pre-MPAA Hays Code. Daffy but pleasant Trudy Kockenlocker goes to a farewell party for American servicemen, imbibes a lot of spiked “lemonade,” and discovers the next morning that she is married; the biggest problem is...


15: Warcraft

Welcome to another round of You Did This to Us. Episode 15 is up, and it’s “Warcraft: The Beginning.” If you’ve ever played a massively multiplayer online game and thought to yourself, “Damn, these cut scenes are so cinematic and intriguing! I wonder what would happen if they added a lot of half-assed, not-terribly-logical live action to them and put them on the big screen?” then we have good news for you! The movie actually isn’t too bad to look at, so hey, maybe give it a watch (or...


14: Bang Bang!

We make our first foray into Bollywood in episode 14, “Bang Bang!” An Indian remake of “Knight and Day,” Nicole’s Around the World pick features a chase after the stolen Kohinoor diamond, multiple exotic locations, four musical numbers, some smooth and inventive dancing, a lovely […]


13: Inception

In a Hollyworld of sequels and book adaptations and remakes, truly original ideas are rare. For our “Future Classics” choice this round, David nominated an original movie about the power of ideas, 2010’s “Inception.” Will the intellectual vibe, practical effects, and now-a-meme soundtrack stand the […]


12: Lord of War

This week’s theme is “Netflix Roulette,” and the randomizer spit out our first Nicolas Cage movie, Lord of War. Small-time Ukranian-born New Yorker and arms dealer Yuri Orlov takes advantage of the end of the Cold War and the sudden poor security of Russian arsenals […]


11: The Midnight Meat Train

Welcome to the goriest movie Brett, David, and Nicole have ever covered! This week is our “New to Two” theme, and Brett chose “The Midnight Meat Train.” This movie doesn’t just show gore, it revels in it, using inventive situations and playful camera work. Join […]