Reels of Justice

The court is fighting for its life inside a killer thriller tonight when Jeremy Black dolly zooms during a struggle between two Alfred Hitchcock classics: 1948’s “Rope” and 1954’s “Rear Window.” *** “Rope”: Dylan J. Schlender. “Rear Window": Jeremy Black. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Big Ben Haslar, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

We snuff out Hell on Reels this week when Nathaniel Jonsson (“At The Devils Ball Podcast”) asks you to choose Team People or Team Twilight when he defends 2010’s “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.” *** Prosecutor: Maynard Bangs. Defense: Nathaniel Jonsson. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Dylan J. Schlender, Big Ben Haslar, Ryan Luis Rodriguez. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

This week, the court wants to be your boo when the amazing Maisie Culver (“Hysteria!”) defends the depiction of dead children to other children in the 1995 children’s film “Casper.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: Maisie Culver. Judge: The Honorable Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

Hell on Reels is standing right behind you when Addison Binek (“Psycho Ape: Part II - The Wrath of Kong”) ‘voulez-vous coucher avec’ the 2003 slasher “High Tension.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: Addison Binek. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar, Ryan Luis Rodriguez. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

This week, our palms are almost as bloody as they are hairy when CK (“DragsVille”) warns of the coming apocalypse prophesied by the 1999 horror film “Stigmata.” *** Prosecutor: Maynard Bangs. Defense: CK. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

It’s a graveyard smash when Jack Bennett (“Never Surrender: A Galaxy Quest Documentary”) meets Frankenstein and then also “Frankenstein (1931)” meets “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” (and fights him). *** “Frankenstein (1931)”: Big Ben Haslar. “The Creature from the Black Lagoon": Jack Bennett. Judge: The Honorable Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

Hell on Reels again walks the Earth when alleged hellspawn Clay Keller (“Screen Drafts”) unleashes his scary eyes and asks us to join the 1978 horror sequel “Damien: Omen II.” *** Prosecutor: Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Defense: Clay Keller. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The court is forced to run through one of those rubber tire obstacle courses when Bryan Bintliff (“Burning Virtue”) tactically disarms the 2008 war film “The Hurt Locker.” *** Prosecutor: Bryan Bintliff. Defense: Dylan J. Schlender. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The Seven Dwarves have got winner this week when the Magnificent One Jeremy Black joins us to pit the original, 1954’s “Seven Samurai,” against the remake, 1960’s “The Magnificent Seven.” *** “Seven Samurai”: Big Ben Haslar. “The Magnificent Seven": Jeremy Black. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The court had a bad dream and wants to sleep in your bed when Triv (“Trivial Theater”) reaches out from underneath and drags you into 1985’s “A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: Triv. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Maynard Bangs, Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The court hears the lamentations of Case Aiken (“Another Pass” Podcast) as he oils up to crush his enemy, the 2011 remake of “Conan the Barbarian.” *** Prosecutor: Case Aiken. Defense: Dylan J. Schlender. Judge: The Honorable Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

This week, artist Virginia Hagans (“Off-Center Albatross”) gets drawn into the jury as the court goes completely nuclear over 2023’s “Godzilla Minus One.” *** Prosecutor: Maynard Bangs. Defense: Big Ben Haslar. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Virginia Hagans, Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The court has a coming of “rage” this week when Ryan Verrill (“The Disc-Connected” Podcast/”The Physical Media Advocate” Magazine) advocates physically and verbally for 2022’s “Aftersun” over 2016’s “Moonlight.” *** “Moonlight”: Ryan Luis Rodriguez. “Aftersun": Ryan Verrill. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Big Ben Haslar, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The court resists the urge to make ‘wax off’ jokes when Justin Andrews (“Mind Pump Media”) crane kicks 1984’s “The Karate Kid” right in the face. *** Prosecutor: Justin Andrews. Defense: Dylan J. Schlender. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

It’s The 219th Episode Crossover Spectacular! Daniel Scribner stacks the jury with his comrades from the so-called "sexual core" of the Cinemania Society as he defends 1996’s “The Long Kiss Goodnight.” *** Prosecutor: Maynard Bangs. Defense: Daniel Scribner. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Andrea Palladino, Ethan Ireland, Andy Slack. Alternate Jurors: Zacharia Berks, Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

This week, Graham Skipper (“The Lonely Man with the Ghost Machine”) acts as the herald of our impending doom (his words, not ours) in service of the 2007 superhero film “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: Graham Skipper. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

Guy Ritchie gets “richer” this week when Jeremy Black “enriches” our lives and we go from rags to “riches” and… ummm… oh, it’s 2019’s “The Gentlemen” vs. 2024’s “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare." *** “The Gentlemen”: Jeremy Black. “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare": Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Big Ben Haslar, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The court is alive (alive!) when the abby normal Ian Potter ("Rifftrax"/”Big Finish”) digs up his own corpse to defend the 1985 period sci-fi film “The Bride.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: Ian Potter. Judge: The Honorable Big Ben Haslar. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Big Ben Haslar, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

In an episode completed posthumously, Caleb Zakarin (“New Books Network”) dons one of the more tantalizing costumes the court has ever seen as he defends 1999’s thriller “Eyes Wide Shut.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: Caleb Zakarin. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

Stupid is as the court does this week when author Brooks Eason ("Trigger Warning") opens up a box of chocolates (and whoop-ass) when he defends 1995’s Academy Award winner “Forrest Gump.”*** Prosecutor: Maynard Bangs. Defense: Brooks Eason. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Big Ben Haslar, Dylan J. Schlender. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?