Minion Death Cult

Politics

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday hosts Tony and Alex riff on bizarre conservative trends found in comment sections and social media feeds across the web.

Location:

United States

Description:

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday hosts Tony and Alex riff on bizarre conservative trends found in comment sections and social media feeds across the web.

Language:

English


Episodes

I know we use the word satanic too often but this performance is literally a tribute to Satan (preview)

2/8/2023
This week we asses the true threat level of the Chinese Balloon by using the "Snoopy system," and Trump uses the groomer attack (appropriately) against DeSantis--upsetting former Trump supporters who suddenly remember he's also a predator. Finally, conservatives get extremely scared of Sam Smith after he dresses up like a guy from Moulin Rouge ------------------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new...

Duration:00:08:03

Balloon War Time

2/5/2023
This week the Miami PD debuts a Black History Month Police Cruiser. Even the liberals aren't enjoying this, and the right just got 25° more racist. Also: a nation calls for war with China after a balloon drifts accross the US mainland, as a Pentagon spokesperson solemnly swears that it's a spy balloon and not just a normal weather balloon. ------------------------ Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show:...

Duration:01:08:46

DEATH CHAT 500 - Landlord Dick Pics (preview)

2/2/2023
This week Tony has an incredible story about landlord dick pics, We unearth a song from Drive Angry 3D that has been scrubbed from the internet by the son of a famous actor who was in Drive Angry 3D And read the worst pro-Democrat propaganda book in existence: Why Mommy Is A Democrat ------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's...

Duration:00:08:54

This seems a bit extreme. When they raised our retirement age I don't think most people even commented on it (preview)

2/2/2023
This week: a Vietnam veteran is tormented by modern McDonald's; the beta males at the Museum of British History go WOKE by sometimes using the phrase “mummified remains” instead of Mummy; And Americans across the political spectrum cheer the massive direct labor actions by unions in France (cutting power to the homes of billionaires and giving free electricity to preschools), BUT one South African billionaire is here to keep everyone grounded. ------------------------- Support the show...

Duration:00:11:50

"The left thinks we should keep paralyzed people unemployed so they have more talking points on why we need the state"

1/29/2023
This week A&W root beer says they're going to put pants on their Bear mascot to make fun of m&m's, which makes facebook conservatives even more mad and in the face of video evidence of Paul Pelosi's attack being released, the right wing continues pushing gay conspiracy theories, perhaps so they can continue to laugh at an 82 year-old man getting hit with a hammer Our top stories are the dystopian nightmare of putting paralyzed people to work piloting robot servers at a Japanese cafe,...

Duration:01:27:15

Things may get nassy (preview)

1/25/2023
The title of this episode is not just a quote from a segment but a warning to potential listeners: We classy, and we sassy, but things may get nassy We say goodbye to Diamond by winking from the pulpit at her funeral, lamenting in all-caps that she ""DIED SUDDENLY"" Also: How hospitals are heating their buildings with wokeness Plus: The Daily Wire tries distances itself from the m&m’s controversy with a masterful headline after being called out by the candy’s newest ad campaign And:...

Duration:00:04:53

I was on acid 30 years ago to this! What's with the rainbow?

1/22/2023
This week: agents of the Matrix rise up to combat a young woman complaining about working in an office 40hrs a week Also, we discover that most homeless women are actually nepo babies who deserve to be sprayed with cold water And finally, Pink Floyd goes woke with a design featuring the gay colors Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus...

Duration:01:20:05

UNLOCKED - DEATH CHAT 500 - The Futurist (01/07/23)

1/19/2023
This week Alex fixes the problematic Cheeseburger song with a rendition of his own We also chat about bad(?) edgy 90s holiday movies with "quirky" (annoying) characters including a manic, voyeuristic gay brother played by Robert Downey Jr. This leads us down a rabbit hole as we track RDJ's christmas movie career to Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and the sultry mom-rock song he sings(???) during the end credits. We've got a making-of RDJ's post-recovery album filled with all the amazing...

Duration:01:27:01

Gimme a sista I can't resist her Red pills and facts didn't miss her w/Blocked Party (preview)

1/18/2023
This week the Blocked Party boys help us send off the late Diamond of Diamond & Silk by reading from the fans who think she must've died of the vaccine. Also: playing fortnight without the annoying forts; New-Age Stores and other weird stores; and 90s school yearbooks: the original Tik Tok Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a...

Duration:00:07:04

My gas stove and oven now uses the pronouns of cook and bake

1/15/2023
Happy M&M meltdown January, the annual tradition where we rend our garments and rip the hair from our heads over woke m&m's. This year, there's too many women on the package. Also: the right wing spins itself into a frenzy, first pretending that Joe Biden is going to ban gas stoves, then pretending to defy such a ban by coming increasingly close to burning their houses down. Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly...

Duration:01:18:09

Conservatives don't wear gas masks even in Brazil

1/11/2023
This week we cover the attempted right-wing coup in Brazil, the hilarious fallout, and the thick miasma of cope emanating out of conservative spaces across the internet. Also: we measure the shape and density of part-timer workers' skulls to answer the question: are they bad? Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get...

Duration:00:04:41

Why Wiggles, WHY?!? You have betrayed us.

1/8/2023
This week we're mourning another symbol of traditional masculine heterosexuality, The Wiggles, who have apparently agreed to collaborate with famed gay satanist Lil Nas X Also: Right Wing Media find creative ways to report Avatar: The Way of Water beating Top Gun: Maverick's total at the box office in just one month. Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form)....

Duration:01:16:35

Crazy jeans is a sin. It is not of God. (preview)

1/4/2023
Today: the Taliban calls for Andrew Tate's release, citing his opposition to demonic force of feminism and a new trend is sweeping the nation: calling the police on dollar bills. An elderly facebook couple has all the info and finally! A facebook pastor with common-sense sermons about jeans and movie's Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus...

Duration:00:03:17

We don't need Facebook (The Matrix's wh*re) shutting us down!

1/3/2023
Today we cover the recent Andrew Tate saga: a man who got so mad at Greta Thunberg he posted a two-minute video on twitter about how he wasnt owned and then immediately got arrested for sex trafficking. He claims that agents of "The Matrix" were sent to silence him, but we look at his self-help dating university(?) where he brags about doing stuff that sounds a lot like sex trafficking. We enter a Facebook group of fans accusing Greta of doxxing him and dissecting the hand signals in his...

Duration:01:22:59

I love SONG OF THE SOUTH (preview)

12/29/2022
This week, Disney exchanges the Song of the South references in Splash Mountain for a scene with their only Black Princess, a right wing tik tokfluencer does a snarky clapback, and we come up with some of our own replacement ideas Also, LIFE has been CANCELLED thanks to a woke update on the classic board game. A facebook mom has all the details. Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also...

Duration:00:06:23

Believe ft. Kino Lefter

12/26/2022
As a Christmas treat, we have unlocked our 2019 account of this bizarre holiday movie. This week we review Believe, a film about business owner Matthew Peyton who gets assaulted and left for dead when he can't afford to single-handedly finance the town's annual Christmas Pageant He solves his and the town's economic problems when he realizes he can replace his union workforce with unpaid homeless people in exchange for sheltering them from the winter storm. None of this is...

Duration:01:52:50

We're not supposed to say 'naughty' anymore. It's the 'misunderstood list.' And they still get presents (preview)

12/23/2022
Today we cover new The Santa Clauses streaming show, where Tim Allen claims he has restored Christ to Christmas, and that "Saying 'Merry Christmas to all' has somehow become problematic." Also, we sign up for Mammoth Nation, the new "conservative competitor to Amazon" and their Christmas commercial featuring groomers fanta Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast...

Duration:00:06:44

Official Donald Trump digital trading cards? What the hell is going on?

12/19/2022
It's a heaping helping of shameful joy today as the big announcement Trump teased to his supporters is revealed: Digital Trump Trading Cards in the form of NFTs. While many supporters expected him to release documents on the deep state, announce a candidacy for House Speaker, announce a presidential running mate, anything of even moderate interest, they were left with second-hand embarassment as their leader hawked digital trading cards featuring Trump riding a jet pack, Trump dressed as a...

Duration:01:11:39

DEATH CHAT 500 - I wonder what it would be like to sail on an ocean of bitter tears (preview)

12/17/2022
It's a jam-packed episode of DEATH CHAT 500 this week. Two work stories from Alex: a Supervisor shares his L's and a slavery-themed coffee shop won't give Alex a discount. Tony accidentally buys expensive demonic crocs Small Soldiers is secretly kind of an anti-military, anti-corporate, animation and rap music masterpiece? A bootleg theragun changes Alex's life Weed chat with Tony An angry cop butt rock band from Seattle and the powerful project Chester Bennington was working on...

Duration:00:07:02

I'm rick bitch (preview)

12/15/2022
This week we field an interesting theological question: Is God sexist against men for making them far more rational and therefore less capable of faith than women? Also, Elon Musk and Dave Chapelle get booed for 5 minutes straight, which is a really good bit to be fair And the right wing reacts to the passing of the Respect for Marriage Act, both laughing at progressives for how relatively toothless the bill is, and breathlessly ranting about the doom it spells for society. Support the...

Duration:00:06:30