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34 - Warbucks

Subscribe at for a premium episode in your podcast player every Monday This week The Cult solves the Syrian civil war: "Missile strikes are not a war. It's a police action." "Libertarians are children would rather chop off their dicks instead of f*ck the Syrian people." "Assad is a monster the likes of which we haven't seen since Abraham Lincoln." AND The Cult takes on the black thugs who were probably going to rob Starbucks and therefore had to be...


33 - Star Wars Episode IX XI (Preview)

Subscribe at to get every weekly, premium episode This week the Cult takes on the anti-sex worker bill FOSTA-SESTA that was recently signed into law, and how its (possibly) unintended consequences actually pose more dangers to sex workers. Also, we cover Margaret Atwood's piping hot take on Star Wars & 9/11, and the angry nerd reaction it inspired.


32 - OWO

It's a bonus MDC! Here's the Facebook testimony portion of the episode we couldn't contain. "Facebook needs to protect BLM because I, as a US senator will not." "Diamond & Silk are sexy, conservative "sistas" whose facebook account MUST be promoted on the floor of congress." "How come Facebook knows everything I post?" [6 paragraphs of terrible PR advice left for Zuccerberg in the comments section of a Daily Caller facebook post] "I'm so terrible even Amber Alert blocked me."


31 - Civil Wartime

This week the Cult takes on the FBI's raid against Michael Cohen, Trump's longtime lawyer and bribe-doer. We find a wide range of interesting responses, including: "Lets get all our lawyers together and fire Mueller." "If Mueller were after Mother Teresa, even Mother Teresa would be in trouble." "Let's start a revolution in support of President Trump." Look for a bonus episode on Facebook congressional testimony coming out tomorrow!


30 - Planet Caravan (Preview)

Subscribe at for a premium episode in your podcast player every Monday & access to all past premium episodes. This week the Cult takes on the caravan of asylum-seekers and the YouTube shooter Nasim Aghdam: "Logic is a forbidden tool of the patriarchy" "Who guards the National Guard?" "I want to help fight migrants but I can't do anything physical or lift anything." "YouTube deserved to be shot because they stole my free speech." & much more


29 - New Story

This week the cult takes on Sinclair Broadcast Group and the cringeful, scripted segment they forced dozens of their local news affiliates to read on-air. We cover varying deranged reactions to the viral supercut, including: No, democracy is actually bad Corporate media is socialist Scripted news segments are like Starbucks: good Also, we cover Easter at the White House, and a youtube comment section absolutely DYING of thirst for Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Premium episodes every week...


28 - Laura Ingraham Wilder & Roseanne (Preview)

Subscribe at to hear every weekly premium episode Roseanne returns to television pretending to be a woke, blue-collar Trump voter, while her sister Jackie is a hysterical, emotional Hillary supporter. It's as fun as it sounds. Also: Laura Ingraham gets put on vacation by high schooler David Hogg, and the internet is pretty upset about it.


27 - Trump Around (California, Here We Come)

This week The Cult stays in California, and we explain how the Orange County Sheriff Department's decision to work with ICE actually fits with our chill California lifestyle. Also: Schwarzenegger says some cool stuff about imprisoning Oil Execs and experiences some good ol' fashioned anti-German racism in the process (yes, we know he's Austrian) Subscribe at to get a premium episode every week


24 - Pro-Test (Student Walkout)

Subscribe at to get every weekly premium episode This week, parents want to kill their dumb kids and their dumb kids' dumb teachers for allowing them to walk out in protest of gun violence. We have two exclusive Facebook videos: a Disgusted Dad pulls a knife on a student at a PTA meeting in order to prove a point and a nameless, faceless Dad confronts his son's principal to DEMAND answers from her. He is not satisfied. An extra, personal bonus episode on...


23 - Witchfinder Attorney General (Preview)

Subscribe at to get this and every weekly premium episode Trump fires the FBI, Hillary, Obama, and Rex Tillerson, who is now the leader of The Resistance.


22 - Sex Accusations

Subscribe to to get every weekly premium episode This week's all about Stormy Daniels, because we ran out of time to talk about Rex Tillerson, because boy is this content SEXY. We cover several interesting responses to the alleged affair, ranging from "I don't care if Trump did much grosser, oddly specific acts" to "It's gay to talk about sex." Also: deplorable infighting among confused people who are on exactly the same page.


20 - Virtual Sanity (Preview)

Subscribe at for access to every premium episode NRA spokesman Bill Whittle inserts himself into the Matrix and will stop at nothing to prevent gun control regulations from taking effect.


19 - Crying Complaining Topics (The Oscars)

Subscribe at for a premium episode every Monday. We explain the reasons for the utter failure of the Oscars over the weekend (#metoo, pedophilia) and we introduce our first Blue Star Family segment with listener-submitted content.


18 - Grab Em By The Uzi (Preview)

Subscribe at to get access to every weekly premium episode. This week we go over the implosion at r/the_donald over Trump's recent "I like taking the guns" comments, and a good-boy college republican goes on Tucker Carlson's Fox News program to show the entire nation a meme someone made about him being a cracker.


17 - B-Word Panther

On this episode all about Black Panther, Matt and I recount our harrowing experiences trying to see film as white men, and Tony is once again tricked into liking a problematic MLK meme. Also: we find out who the REAL racists are (it's black people), pose our own theories about why Black Panther is making white people crazy, and FINALLY celebrate the REAL Black Panther: Dr. Ben Carson. Subscribe at for weekly premium episodes


16 - Mask Off (Preview)

Subscribe at for access to all weekly premium episodes. A woman and her son stand their ground for his free speech Trump mask by refusing to kneel at a grocery store.


15 - Blackwater Babies

Subscribe to the brand-new Minion Death Cult Patreon and get a full-length bonus episode every week for only $3/month. This week MDC solves gun violence with Blackwater Babies, a Gruntstyle tees-for-guns program, and firearm anti-education. On a lighter note, we plumb the darkest depths of symbolism in the new Official White House Portraits of the Obamas that our tax dollars paid for.


New Friend (Blue Star Boy Spotlight)

This week we train our first-ever Blue Star Boy Spotlight on a top poster from the Deplorables facebook group, a man brimming with terrible posts and one very sad one. Also: Dilbert MCs a rap battle between MAGA dorks and Jay Z, and the results are spectacular. Please consider helping us out with a rating and a review in your apple podcast app, and tell a friend about the Cult.


13 - Vast Difference (Incel XFL)

On this episode: Adam Calhoun releases a provocative new T shirt, we review some sad incel standup by Facebook Personality “Luckless Matt,” 50% of our dads are racist, and we stare into the black eyes of Vince McMahon as he debuts the XFL (again), a football league for standing.


12 - Unapologetically Male (Spike TV / Cali, Baby)

This week we've got two subjects close to home: Masculinity as defined by Spike TV (RIP) and their "Internal Manifesto," and the sale of California back to Mexico. What we learned from Spike TV: Men love crunching metal, bikinis, and toilets. Beer is a woman's drink. Men want to be friends with TV. What we learned from the boomers who want to sell California back to Mexico: California is going to burn anyway because of "Hellywood," Mexicans took over one of the suburbs, and help, my...


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