Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman bridges the gap between pre- and post-election analysis days to devote today's KITM to the consequences of bad voting decisions. The Trump Supreme Court is set to overturn the 20th century, and probably a chunk of the 19th. We were pre-wrong on whether Trump could do no wrong, and soon we'll be pre-wrong thinking that he can't eliminate those who won't do wrong for him. Paramount, with Saudis', Qataris' and Emiratis' money, wants to buy Warner Bros Discovery and CNN and Time Warner and etc... So does Netflix. Of course, now, the president picks the winner... so who will he be choosing? In case you care to place a bet, SIL Jared Kushner has taken time off from his measuring the drapes in Gaza to pop out of Mohammed bin Salman's bisht pocket on behalf of Paramount. Even if Jared loses, he can sue daddy, so it's win-win all around. Trump is giving corporate farmers $12 billion in taxpayer money, but actual rural residents will have to go to the big city for a doctor. Nobody does anything for free, at least in Trump world, and it never matters what you did to get in jail, it's what you do when you get out that concerns Donald. Trump does not owe Marjorie Taylor Greene nor CBS. Today, as always, they owe him.

David Waldman is back to the KITM World Headquarters Microphone after a weekend of less doofus behavior by Donald K. Trump. Of course, all things being relative. Greg Dworkin is here to offer his pre-election foresight ahead of his post-election hindsight this Wednesday. Republicans in rupture! If Republicans want to learn things the hard way, why turn them down? A tsunami is building, and not the scary kind that shows up in Japan, but the kind that has Gops stacking sandbags. Miami hasn't had a Democratic mayor in almost 30 years, but that is looking to change. It might be a change in the US political "mood", or it could be that Gop voters are tired of seeing friends and family being shipped out of town. Latino Trump voters are having some sense pounded into them by ICE agents. Zohran Mamdanimentum might carry some NYC immigrants out of danger, but elsewhere immigrants are being plucked out of line by the nation to which they were just about to pledge allegiance. Trump hopes to ship half of Europe down to El Salvador soon. Trump can't sell Americans on his "affordability is a hoax" hoax, probably because people aren't dumb, and they'd have to be pretty dumb to not notice their health care and homes disappearing. Donald will slip farmers $12 billion in taxpayer money to look the other way. Even Steven KG Bannon can see the Trump reserve of stupid people becoming depleted. Trump's own mortgages match his description of mortgage fraud. That's just him being smart. Tom Cotton envies those that can hang out on their boat in the middle of a beautiful Caribbean night, just looking up at the stars and drones, not a care in the world except for funding/fighting their narcoterrorist overthrow of the United States. That's the life!

David Waldman presses the kinks out of the chaos one more time this week before we briefly part company. The newly released "Donald K Trump National Security Strategy" breaks the news to NATO and others that all of those "treaties", "alliances" and "pacts" we share are beginning to feel a bit restrictive lately and perhaps we should all start seeing some more racially, theocratically pure, and profitable dictatorships for a while. We certainly still desire a committed relationship of course, but the kind in which others should never trust us. Trump is the youngest president who ever lived. He's the most president the US has ever had. Mean people won't let him have everything. They are nasty people. Nice people give him things. They are great people. You can bet that CNN will report on how you can bet on anything CNN reports. Military officials showed lawmakers video of the two shipwreck survivors who sat out in the water 40 minutes before anyone had realized the danger presented by the piece of boat that they were floating on and vaporized it, and subsequently, them. Gop Cory Mills might be an awful congressman, an awful tenant, and an awful human being, but he turns out to be an awful bad guy as well. On the other hand, Kash Patel manages to do all of his stupid things ineptly.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin did it again! For a couple of hours today. The U.S. Institute of Peace has been renamed as the U.S. Institute of Irony. The Department of Defense is now Pete Hic! Hegseth's House of Murders. Hungover from the fog of war, Hegseth immediately initiated a strategic inverted retrograde disengagement maneuver, tossing Admiral Alvin Holsey overboard. Admiral Frank "Mitch" Bradley is next in line and is scheduled to fall on his sword at approximately 14:00 today. Palantir is scheduled to make more money at that time. Republicans in Revolt! Gops brandishing torches, pitchforks and discharge petitions seek to topple Mike Johnson. Well, they really want Trump, but he scares them and no one is scared of Mike. Gop women feel the most rage, but don't want to come off sounding woke, or... feminist. No, Elise Stefanik will NOT lower her voice. Henry Cuellar shows that it's so easy to play Trump into a pardon, even a Democrat can do it. In the ACA debate, Gops propose Obamacare, but bad. Dems counterproposal is Obamacare, but longer. The pendulum is swinging back, right on time for the midterms. Except that no other president has been this disliked. The economy has rarely hit this many, especially against those constituents of the party in power. And that party in power has probably has never sucked this hard, nor have they promised to learn so little from their mistakes. Vladimir Putin continues to humiliate Donald K. Trump, but that's only because Trump demands to be humiliated. They finally arrested some guy for placing pipe bombs ahead of January 6, and the guy that they arrested is not Marge, sadly lowering the chance that she might go to prison, on that charge.

David Waldman knows all, reveals about two hours' worth, on today's KITM. Is Pete Hegseth more sober, or less, today? Pete has Donald K. Trump's full support, which has got to worry anybody. Now, Admiral Frank Bradley has Pete's full support. Admiral Alvin Holsey retired before anyone's full support got to him. Each of these people really wanted ALL of the Caribbean "suspects" turned into a thick red mist… but they didn't mean ALL of them… Ok, "all" of them… but all of them simultaneously… They see this as a problem of not using big enough missiles. Trinidad is installing a US military radar installation in order to guide B-2s in locating some more suspects. Speaking of extrajudicial killings of civilians, that's what Afghan "Zero Units" were known for. DC shooter Rahmanullah Lakanwal was a US trained member, then abandoned by the US government, really never a solid plan. Speaking of sleeper cells, DOGE isn't dead, they are now the Deep State. Speaking of John Durham/Nancy Pelosi/Nicolás Maduro/Michelle Obama conspiracies, that's what Trump posted only last night! There's 22 Trump gift shopping days till Christmas, then 1122 after that!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us start the month, week and day off right. You read it here first! (Unless you read it over at The Intercept a few hours earlier.) The United States… that's us... We blew up a boat with 11 people in it, then we circled around and we murdered all the survivors. We have murdered at least 83 in boats… Most of the world understands that is wrong, and we might have stopped murdering the swimmers, which we might all agree is somehow even more reprehensible. But we didn't just decide that was bad yesterday, we always knew that was a bad thing to do. Except of course for Pete Hegseth, who we, or at least some of us, hired to not do an evil job. Hic-seth thought that this was really funny at first but sobered up quickly to transfer the blame to his soldiers. Donald K. Trump doesn't know a "Hegseth", but if you write it at the bottom of the check, he'll pardon him. Juan Orlando Hernández made millions as president, raping Honduras in partnership with El Chapo while creating one of the largest drug-trafficking organizations in the world and was sentenced to 45 years. Oh well. Alina Habba, one of the biggest Trump's lawyers, is out as U.S. Attorney for the District of New Jersey. Sure, Kristi Noem disregarded court orders to send Venezuelans to El Salvador, but that wouldn't be against the law if judges didn't say so. No one needs more ballroom less than Trump and even his architect says so. Do reactionaries just feel left out? Trump has almost reached Jan 6 levels of unpopularity, and Republicans are feeling it. Another Gop seat could be flipped in Tennessee tomorrow, as they plan to redistrict Nashville away. One Republican Senator in Indiana drew the line on Trump insulting his daughter, while another wasn't swayed by swatting and doxxing. and yet another by a pipe bomb. Meanwhile, Troy Nehls of Texas feels now should be when he spends more time with his family.

Happy Thanksgiving! One of the things I'm thankful for is that usually Scott Anderson takes care of our daily summary. "Well, too bad!" It's Thanksgiving, and if I made Scott do the summary today, I'd be a Republican, and you wouldn't want to listen to the show. Still, I'm pretty busy, myself, what with hosting duties and whatnot. So, uh… here's what I did on the show today: OK, so, first, there was that shooting in DC. Had to do that, even though the "facts" are just a mess at this point. Then, in case you forgot during all the Thanksgiving preparations, Jeffrey Epstein is super disgusting. But he may also be, like, Russian intelligence disgusting. Lastly, if you've ever wondered how such disgusting people get away with such disgusting things, it's usually because they spend a disgusting about of money maintaining a disgusting amount of ultra-luxurious privacy.

David Waldman, mentally tough host of KITM, and his edgy sidekick Greg Dworkin return to the big pod screen for what could be their final adventure this week! Gops are stunned to see their most cozy rat jump ship. You don't have to hand it to Marge. She knew exactly what she was getting into, and exactly what she's getting out of. Who didn't? That is why it's always a good time to talk about Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein, Epstein, Epstein. Can you believe that there is any Latino support for Donald K. Trump? Can you believe there is any support at all for Trump? Anybody but Trump is the person to be. Judge Boasberg will look into contempt charges on those ignoring orders to halt deportation flights. Emil Bove always has plenty of contempt to go around, but Kristi Noem will be the one cosplaying under the bus. How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? Ed Martin knows and is ready to dish on all the retribution plans with Alex Jones. Tina Peters is staying at the state pen, and she will be staying at the state pen. Trump wants her sprung and might still have something pictured. We don't know much about what the US does overseas, because the guy in charge, Vladimir Putin, tends to keep things close to his chest. Vlad's advisor, Steve Witkoff, leaked some guidance that he gave on how to play Trump, which turns out to not be too hard. Ha ha! Oh, well. That's Our Trump!™

David Waldman is here for a special Thanksgiving Tuesday KITM. How does Lindsey Halligan do it? Well, she doesn't, as Judge Cameron Currie has dismissed James Comey and Letitia James' prosecution/persecution because Halligan was unlawfully appointed… according to legal minds Samuel Alito and Aileen Cannon. Expect Aileen and Samuel to return. Nothing can stop our intrepid warriors of the Trump administration! Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die! Pete Hic-seth boldly leads the charge against Senator, astronaut, combat veteran Mark Kelly. Department of "War", Gulf of "America", "5 Things" emails. They're all in your head... which is what they want. Is Marco Rubio our last honest broker? Is the executive branch cutting out the legislative? Will ICES block voting entrances with stacks of zip tied brown people? Good news! Gobble and Waddle slipped Donald a few million in crypto coinage and are back in the barnyard.

It's Friday, today David Waldman is solo, therefore David has his mute button at hand in case he clears his throat, drinks some tea, or SEAL Team 6 comes through the skylight. WAR! KITM Military Nomenclature Cognoscente Darwin Darko reviews some of the reasons why the military and its members should avoid leading with that word. You know, swastikas and nooses could be seen as provocative, also. What could they provoke? Who knows! What's the difference between "legal" and "illegal"? That one's up for debate, although a wrong answer will get you fired. Democrat Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick has been indicted on federal fraud charges. Who is Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick? Right... That's why Republicans are working so hard to pin something on Adam Schiff. What do Vice President Dick Cheney, Generalissimo Francisco Franco have in common?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin count down the days before the Presidential Turkey Pardon. In the meantime, let's roast this pig. Everyone's most hated president Donald K. Trump has achieved new disapproval like no one has ever seen. Fox News says "Sir, no one is inferior to you, Sir. The Trump Era is over… maybe for the last time. All that's left is the shouting and the threats, including death threats, of course. Republicans are being swept into the undertow. Most Gops will have a tough time finding new jobs. Mike Johnson won't be getting a recommendation. Democrats are, well, the other choice, so they have that going for them. But they also have Chuck Schumer… The jobs report is pretty good for a few months ago. How does Lindsey Halligan do it? Well, it ends up that Lindsey didn't do half of what she needed to do in the James Comey political vengeance case, other than to make it clear that the only objective was political vengeance. Gop gerrymanders seem like a pretty bad idea in hindsight, and probably in foresight, had any Gops had any. Turning Point USA is a den of iniquity. House Gops cut Dan Crenshaw off. Not just alcohol, but from even hanging around them for a while. A Republican staffer for Jeff Van Drew who hired a professional to disfigure her, might be mentally ill, but she couldn't have done it on her own.

It's Wednesday, so David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to analyze Tuesday's landside vote! Big man, pig man. Ha-ha, charade he is. It's just not going Donald K. Trump's way lately. Forget "winning", few people even pity the guy anymore. Yesterday Gops not only hung Donald out to dry, they liked it, and plan to make it a habit. They stepped right over Mike Johnson to do it, too. Discharge petitions go from unthinkable to de rigueur. If Gops won't censure Dem Stacey Plaskett for profiting off of Jeffrey Epstein, so Dems won't censure Republican Cory Mills, so there! You don't want Nancy Mace and Lauren Boebert yelling at you. Democrats have the biggest advantage for control of Congress in 8 years. Don't tell Dems… but it seems like a substantial lead. Redistricting has been blocked by judges in Texas and self-denied in Indiana. America's Favorite Governor is happy with his, thank you. Tariff checks are like passing out candy bars on the deck of the Titanic, stupid, unhelpful, but whatever. A pardoned Capitol rioter promised to put a child sex victim in his will for the remainder of his reparation money.

Today, David Waldman sails the Crazy Sea solo. The United Nations puts Donald K. Trump in charge of bringing peace to Gaza, signifying that the world has completely run out of ideas or hope for Palestine. But what about the Epstein files, you ask? Well don't you worry, because the Gop House is on it, with a vote that they've been promoting for months. As you might remember from Schoolhouse Rock, the bill then goes to the DOJ for beheading. If Jeffrey Epstein ever starts to fade from attention, the White House has more waiting in the wings to promote, such as Andrew Tate, who not only rapes girls and traffics them, but Tate also generally hates all women. Nazi-stan Paul Ingrassia can't seem to hold a job in the White House, but his Mom and Donald still love him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn't just fall off the turnip truck, have been around the block and happen to be the sharpest knives in the drawer on today's KITM. Folding like a card table, America's greatest power bottom, Donald K. Trump ordered Republicans to demand that the Democrats finally release the Epstein files. Now, Republicans are set to decisively reveal the whole truth about… what is "barely" legal, anyhow? Lamest of ducks, Trump wasn't all that to begin with, and is decaying beyond the hope of bronzers, Latinos, or even bros. Living hand to mouth doesn't leave much for heat and electricity as inflation is becoming everyone's biggest concern, and affordability is this administration's least. Drop a penny in Marjorie Traitor Greene's slot and she sings a different tune, but really, it's all the same song and dance. That is, until she drops a dime on daddy. The gun is on the table with Venezuela, as we ready to drink their milkshake. Emil Bove explains that we are at actually at war with boats. People and cargo are only collateral damage. Coming apart at the seams, the bottom is falling out of the DOJ as some see the light.

David Waldman drops us off on Friday, usually the calm center of Trump's chaos typhoon... It's Trump's "grand conspiracy", all right, although it depends on how you define "grand". Nevada's top court revives the state's fake electors case, anyone looking into anything Bill "Slimebag" Pulte does are sacked, while Eric Swalwell gets Pulte-ed and FBI Mis-Informant Alexander Smirnov slips out the back door. Ghislaine Maxwell gets the Perv-a-Lago 6 Star Diamond Deluxe Grande treatment, plus a puppy. Donald K. Trump vows to prosecute and imprison every single person connected to Jeffrey Epstein... give or take. MAGA accepts only two genders, yet sees pedophilia as an infinite spectrum, with Jeffrey and Matt Gaetz way over on the nicest possible end. AI-Generated ICE porn might actually be the worst porn one could make with Sora. Kai Trump proves that she's every bit the golfer grandpa is at the LPGA Tour's Annika tournament. She just doesn't have his caddy, though. Kristi Noem stars in an ad campaign with an "Avengers" budget… Or... is she just playing hide the salami with taxpayer money?

David Waldman brings us another two hours of KITM, while Greg Dworkin puts down his Xbox controller for an hour to join in the latest news and badinage. But his emails! The House Oversight Committee gave us a small nasty taste of what's to come in the Epstein files. Republicans retaliated with 23,000 pages of proof that Jeffrey Epstein and his oh-so-close frenemy Donald K. Trump weren't only about the little girls. Sometimes they were about Ghislaine Maxwell, Trump, and little girls, and sometimes they were about Russia, Trump, and little girls. The thing about Jeffrey Epstein is that he never had a shortage of strange bedfellows to pillow talk with. Meanwhile… Matt Gaetz! Adelita Grijalva has finally been sworn in and became the 218th signature of Trump's very painful discharge petition. Who wouldn't vote for this bill? Wow, this news almost pushed Dem's shame of shutdown caving off the front page! Hey, Democrats didn't perform "horribly", some say they didn't completely "fail", in fact… they "won", that's it! In fact, Trump wasn't really "winning". People hate, hate, hate Trump… and they disapprove of him as well. Republicans love him less than they used to. In fact, Jeff might be the more popular one across the board. Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker worries what Trump might do to distract from the Epstein files and will be discussing it over the Thanksgiving table with family members. Kash Patel keeps hoping to score frequent flier points with his girlfriend.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are convening in working session today for the first time since Monday to address the national backlog of news and punditry. It's day two of the shutdown… cave by the Democrats. Dems knew when to hold'em, say they knew when to fold'em, according to government gamblers John Fetterman and Chuck Schumer. But what if the Democrats' big shutdown loss turns out to be a win? Well, it already has… for Republicans, who can pick up half a million dollars for subverting the government on Jan 6, and destroying it this year. Of course, the reason for the shutdown has not been addressed. Has this completely ruined the Democratic party chances in '26? No, not yet, but there's still time. Rising Republican star Glenn Youngkin has Santorumed out and won't be able to wrest Andrew Cuomo from upcoming Fox pundit slots. Sure, we kill people that we don't like the looks of. Hell, we slaughter hundreds of thousands. All of a sudden, the United Kingdom has something against war crimes? Jeffrey Epstein knew all about Donald K. Trump. Everybody hates Donald Trump and is out to get him, according to criminal charges soon to be filed by the next Trump sacrificial attorney Jason Reding Quiñones. Obviously, such an overtly political hitjob would never be accepted in court by any judge who… AILEEN CANNON?!?