Savage Lovecast


Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit and get yourself a subscription.


Seattle, WA


Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit and get yourself a subscription.




Savage Lovecast Episode 849

A tortured, indecisive woman is on the fence about whether to continue her relationship with her husband of 11 years. Every day she wakes up wondering, “Is this right?” Is this normal? Hear the cautionary tale of the professional cuddler in an ethically non-monogamous relationship with a would-be dom and his much, much younger co-worker. Your life will suddenly feel manageable. On the Magnum, RIVAL relationship advice maven Damona Hoffman from the Dates & Mates podcast is on to swap...


Savage Lovecast Episode 848

A man wants to partake in some orgies with his girlfriend. But he loses his erection when there are other men in the room. How can he teach his boner to come out and play? Meanwhile, a man in a 6-year relationship hasn’t had sex in the past 3 years because his girlfriend just doesn’t wanna anymore. They’ve talked and talked and talked. Is it worth going to couple counseling to try to work it out? On the Magnum, how can you turn your vanilla man into a dom? Naturally, Dan brings in the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 847

A woman remembers with shame how she reacted when her then-boyfriend came out to her as bisexual. She hasn’t talked to him in 9 years and wants to apologize. Should she? How? For you sci-fi pervs, what happens to the “eggs” that get deposited with an ovipositor dildo? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Samantha Cole, senior editor for Vice Media, about her new book “How Sex Changed The Internet And The Internet Changed Sex.” They discuss ancient history of the internet, how furries built the web,...


Savage Lovecast Episode 846

A woman is head over heels in love with her new boyfriend. He is a cross-dresser and they both enjoy exploring this kink together. The problem? He isn’t interested in having sex with her and it’s shredding her self confidence. A man is seeing two women in a poly triad. The second woman struggles to feel included and incorporated in the couple’s life but they make it work. But it all falls apart when time of the month rolls around, and then she becomes unkind, needy and too demanding for the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 845

Happy New Year dear listeners! Things are starting off great! A listener discovered an old journal left behind from her newly ex-boyfriend. It contained erotic fantasies about a previous girlfriend’s…daughters. So, the conundrum: Should the caller tell his ex about his written fantasies? Should she burn it and forget the whole thing? Or calmly hand it back, looking him squarely in the eye? Dan couldn’t resist chatting with porn star Leo Louis because he digs guys who look like Janice from...


Savage Lovecast Episode 844

A trans man has heard that desperate straight men have been scouring Grindr looking for trans men because they will accept any vagina at all. Is it true? How can he weed out these unscrupulous, horny cads? As a woman from Texas was researching how to obtain a medical abortion, a scammy, stealth anti-abortion “pregnancy crisis counseling clinic” came up on Google. And even worse, it’s the center where her mother works. Now the caller doesn’t know whether to tell her mother she had the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 843

A short man who is newly returned to the dating world finds his height is disqualifying him from a lot of women. Does this happen in gayland? A 39 year-old straight man just can't keep an erection when he's wearing a condom? How common is this condom conundrum? On the Magnum, comedian Matteo Lane DARED to start an advice segment in his comedy routine. Dan drags him on the show to test his advice-giving chops, and to talk about sleeping with homophobes, and being monogamous under duress. And,...


Savage Lovecast Episode 842

A GGG wife wants to give her man the thing he most wants: his tongue in her ass. But she’s so ding-dang ticklish down there, it’s a no go! How can she learn to suppress her (not sexy) giggles? A former stripper now has a “straight” job. But her co-workers are a nest of slut-shaming, sex-negative, misogynistic vipers who don’t know that she did sex work before. Should she keep her mouth shut, or tell them off? On the Magnum we are always so happy to bring on our favorite sex toy expert-...


Savage Lovecast Episode 841

A 32 year-old man had a cold sore once when he was 15. Does he now have to disclose this every time he goes in for a kiss? As a man’s 20 year marriage was ending, he had an affair with an old friend. They were together for 2 1/2 years after the marriage ended. To this day his kids won’t forgive him for this. How can he win them back? On the Magnum, Dan brings back our resident STI expert, Dr. Ina Park, to discuss warts that just won’t quit, telling the jerk you slept with that you have some...


Savage Lovecast Episode 840

A gay man seeks out masseuses who turn out to be erotic body workers. They initiate a sexual encounter, which the caller enjoys very much. But is it wrong to see them? And why do they recoil when he tries to touch them? Night Terror! A woman had a great time with a dom who tied her up and got her deep into sub space, with no sex. He slept on the couch. But that night she woke him up screaming from a nightmare. He got out of there fast. Now, he’s annoyed with her, and she feels abandoned. On...


Savage Lovecast Episode 839

Her new boyfriend has been caught in an extortionist’s web. He wanked to a woman’s video online and she sent him and the caller video, threatening to send it far and wide if he didn’t pay her. Now the caller is wondering if this is just how the ride is gonna be with this guy. Good news- monkeypox is on the run! Dan chats with our house monkeypox expert, Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about how gay men were able to change their behavior and bring infections down by 90%. On the Magnum, Dan chats...


Savage Lovecast Episode 838

She used to masturbate as often as 20 times in day. But after getting on medication for depression, her libido crashed. She’s off the meds now, but still hasn’t regained her mojo. How can she recover her lost sex drive? A woman went to a sex club with her husband for the first time. It went swimmingly. But the next day she felt depleted and unsexy. What happened? Is Post-Sex Club Letdown a known syndrome? On the Magnum it’s advice columnist v. advice columnist! Dan brings on actor and...


Sex & Politics bonus for Micro listeners

A FREE Sex & Politics, just for you, Micro listener! Here is the show which came out on September 29, 2022. It's a conversation with Mike Pesca, host of The Gist and Not Even Mad. Dan and Mike get on like a house on fire, and we thought you might enjoy just a taste of the goodies that Magnum listeners get all the time. If you like this, please consider becoming a Magnum Sub over at Savage.Love.


Savage Lovecast Episode 837

Ok, here’s the problem: She gets too wet. She only recently learned how to orgasm, and now she’s making up for lost time. But her skilled boyfriend needs a little more…friction. What can they do? A gay man got an anonymous text saying that a friend of his is a rapist and a predator. This friend has never showed any sign of such evil behavior. The caller is torn between believing victims and trusting his friend. On the Magnum, in the birth control/abortion feuds, we’ve been getting it all...


Savage Lovecast Episode 836

Family drama ahoy! A married man is in a carefully constructed open relationship. But when his wife’s sister found out about it, she went ballistic and told the whole family. Now the caller is cut off from his in-laws, and never gets to see them. He and his wife are buying a house, and his in-laws want to pop over and check it out. Should he leave for a few hours and let them in? A queer woman has a crush on her tattoo artist. She knows the crush is in an open relationship, and that their...


Savage Lovecast Episode 835

A woman just broke up with her boyfriend (for unknown reasons.) He used to shower her with praise. “You could be a fashion model!!” Now that’s he’s gone, how can she find another man to who will heap her with the praise she needs and craves? On the Magnum, Dan keeps Halloween holy by inviting scream queen Kate Siegel (The Haunting of Hill House, Ouija: Origin of Evil, Midnight Mass etc.,) to discuss relationship drama, and when to back off already. These two are like a couple of giggling...


Savage Lovecast Episode 834

A married woman is pregnant with her second child. Over the years she has become more and more interested in kink and rough sex. But her husband feels pressure to be more dominant. Will she go back to preferring vanilla sex once the pregnancy hormones are gone? Why does she suddenly feel this way? A gay man uses numbing cream to counter his premature ejaculation. When he’s topping during anal sex, is he ethically obliged to disclose this? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Elisa Wells from...


Savage Lovecast Episode 833

Ka-ching! A gay man suddenly found himself in a Fin Dom relationship when a guy dropped $100 in his account and started calling him “sir.” The caller wants to keep it going, but he also wants to make sure it’s ethical. A student teacher is horrified to hear some of his kids call each other “faggot.” He tries to stop it and comes down hard on the bullies. How can he teach these kids not to use hate speech? On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” all about squirting. Instead of focusing on the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 832

A woman and her boyfriend use condoms. But she really, really wants his come inside her. Can she save some up, wait until there’s no threat of pregnancy, and then use it as lube? How long must she wait? A woman has always had a hard time reaching orgasm, even before she got on mental health meds. Her girlfriend can come at the drop of a hat. The girlfriend is patient and supportive, but the caller is feeling resentful. Why can’t she come? It’s not fair! On the Magnum, a caller asked what the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 831

His last girlfriend was into spanking. They both enjoyed this very much. You know who didn’t enjoy it at all? His dog, who now whimpers whenever it’s master starts kissing someone. How can he train his sensitive pooch to be more kink-positive? A man is dear friends with a straight couple. But they are breaking up bitterly, and the woman is demanding that he choose between them as friends. How does one navigate this sort of unpleasantness? On the Magnum, Dan brings back YA author Adam Sass...