Savage Lovecast

A man's 80 year-old father is getting scammed and extorted by a findom. Should he go to the police? Change his account numbers? See a marriage counselor? A gay man in his 20s looks very young. He worries that the men who are attracted to him may be skeezy because he looks more like a boy than a man. His friends tell him to work it. But how can he safely enjoy New York City's gay dating scene? On the Magnum, a concerned mom wonders how to steer her teenaged kids toward ethical porn. We couldn't think of a better guest to bring on than Erika Lust- she's been making beautifully shot, thoughtful, sexy porn for 20 years. She and Dan talked about dealing with porn as a parent, how much porn is too much porn, and how adult content should NOT be in the hands of tech bros. Finally, is it a consent violation to walk the streets with come visibly on your face? It's a yes or no question. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! This episode is brought to you by Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy by Mel Cassidy. It’s a book on how to do poly better. US-based listeners can get 25% off on www.northatlanticbooks.com through September 2025 with code SAVAGE. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, obituary aficionado and creator of the It Gets Better Project. Bringing you the ups and downs and ins and outs of sex (with a dose of progressive politics,) since the ink dried on the Louisiana Purchase.

A woman's old friend and sometime lover asked her for a beaver shot to ease his stress on an upcoming couples trip. She obliged. Did he thank her? No he did not. She's miffed, and wonders if she's being too sensitive. We love questions like this: What do gay men actually do with vibrators? Our guest is the indomitable E. Jean Carroll. She is a journalist and the author of five books, including a biography of Hunter S. Thompson, and The New York Times bestselling book NOT MY TYPE: One Woman vs. a President. After Donald Trump sexually assaulted her in 1995, she notably beat him in court, twice. She and Dan have a frank, funny convo about the courage it took to face Trump and his legal team, how the assault impacted her sex life, and how most politicians are cowards. Dan and E. Jean clearly love each other, and also divulge an insider advice columnist hack. E. Jean Carroll is a hero and belongs on a votive candle. A little of this interview is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the Magnum. A woman with mental health challenges can't get off when her partners wear condoms. Now she's pregnant, and plans to get an abortion. She feels like a fool for getting into this situation. What are her options in the future and are there other women out there who have the same problem? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From age differences to abortion, virgins to vasectomies and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity.

A cute li'l gal worries she just isn't a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role? A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn't quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to? On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist and television writer Kashana Cauley. (Author of The Payback and The Survivalists.) They talk about the pleasure of dystopian novels in a dystopian present, on being a clotheshorse, the student debt crisis, setting boundaries in kink and more! A very androgynous AFAB person has a ton of pull with both men and women. But they are new to the gay cruising scene and want some tips on navigating those entrancing homo spaces. Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. This episode is sponsored by SuperPower: Expert Longevity Blood Testing. For a limited time, our listeners get a SuperPower membership for just $199. Go to Superpower.com and use the code “Savage”. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From body hair to birth control, asexuality to auto-erotic asphyxiation and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

"Not generous." That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive? Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband. A gay man loves going to "gay island." It's a small gathering space in a river where queer folks can be together in a chill, clothing-optional way. But guess who is invading Gay Island! Straight families bring their kids to bask in the homo glow. Dan welcomes queer artist and writer Leo Herrera, to talk about the importance of gay spaces, and then they go into a deep dive about AI porn, and sex robots. There's a little on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. And, a man has been married thrice. For each wife, he reversed his previous vasectomy and then got a new one, without ever telling them that he'd done this. Should he come clean about all the vasectomies to his current wife? And seriously, what is up with this guy? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s

A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men's lives. Should she continue? A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and dominates him. They work together. Driven wild by lust, the caller worries that if he acknowledges the dynamic and shares his feelings, all will be lost. On the Magnum, the dog ate her vibrator. You heard that right. The dog ate her vibrator and broke it. It ran on batteries and had more settings than she needed anyway. What should she replace it with? We bring on our star, beloved cartoonist/sex toy reviewer Erika Moen to advise. And, a very special After-Action Report! Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at Paired.com/SAVAGE Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing? One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Melissa Febos- bestselling author of "The Dry Season: A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex." Febos pressed pause on her promiscuous life and abstained from sex for a year. She and Dan talk about the ways our sexuality defines us, and how we broadcast our desire. A trans man is in love with his girlfriend. The sex is good but not great, because the caller can't bear to indulge his kinky side with his beloved. How can he get out of his head and get nasty with her? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From anal sex to asexuality, weddings to webcamming and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it? A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Arielle Domb- the intrepid journalist who visited a sex toy brothel in Berlin. Hear about her adventures into the future. Also, they take a call from a sex worker who worries that she and her co-workers are betraying women by faking orgasms for men's pleasure. A woman is VERY supportive of her trans son. He explained that he doesn't masturbate because his vagina gives him dysphoria. Is there a sex toy she could buy him? How involved should she get here? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, world traveller and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From foreplay to freysexuals, premature ejaculation to pegging and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, in this wicked, wicked world.

The woman in a married couple that does not want children accidentally got pregnant. This happened once before, and she learned that her husband is against abortion on religious grounds. Should she tell him she will end this pregnancy, or keep it secret from him? Do accidents happen in BDSM? They sure do! Hear the harrowing tale of one man's consequential mistake. Dan brings on Australian kink educator "The Funny Dom" to talk this one through. On the Magnum, a woman's husband is recovering from an accident that left him wheelchair-bound. Now they are wondering how to develop a sex life when he can't feel below the waist. Dan brings on queer disability activist/writer Andrew Gurza, to talk about disability grief, sex with disabilities and how the queer community has work to do in supporting access rights. And, a man in an open relationship is miffed that his wife hates to give him oral sex, but LOVES to give it to her boyfriend. What is going on here? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From anal sex to asexuality, weddings to webcamming and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do? A 52 year-old straight man was welcomed into a new friend group through his girlfriend. The group has a charismatic "queen bee" leader. When he started seeing a 20 year-old woman, and told the queen bee about it, he was summarily ejected from the group. Now no one will talk to him. What did he do to deserve this? On the Magnum, a woman sometimes cries when she has an orgasm. It feels fine to her, and she's had no sexual abuse in her past. But her friends insist she must have repressed trauma. Dan brings on Jena Martin, host and creator of the Memory Hole Podcast, a series that looks back at the recovered memory movement and how false memories are still commonly accepted. Are memories "etched into our physiology?" Well, no actually. And, a 40 year-old woman came out as queer and pan one year ago. But she has never dated women, and her experience with women is limited to some hazy, drunken college nights. Now, she wants to try women again, but finds them too soft and tender. What she really likes, is when the dude she's seeing rails her. So is she even queer? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From breaking up to barebacking, cuckolding to cunnilingus and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, and you damn well know it.

A woman in her late 40s is struggling to process a relationship she had when she was in college. She slept with a former professor of hers but then got rejected by him. After she moved away, she arranged a visit with him, and got rejected again. Now, over 20 years later, she's wondering if his actions were unethical or inappropriate. We've gotten some tricky parenting questions in the past, but this one is extra-special. The caller is a new mother, and the 24/7 dom in a clothed female/naked male relationship. She treats her service sub roughly and her pet name for him is "slut." It's all well and good while the child is an infant, but how can they maintain their relationship style when the kid is older and asking questions like "Why isn't daddy allowed to sit on the furniture?" Dan brings on Lina Dune from the Ask A Sub podcast to advise. On the Magnum, welcome to the world of competitive masturbation. Meet Colby Jaxxx, a professional gooner content creator and winner of the second season of The Great BateWorld BateOff™! Dan and Colby talk about this niche gig, poppers in gooning culture, the unique challenges when gooners date each other, and the presence of "girlie gooners." And, a polite gay man endowed with a high volume of come wonders if he should warn his lovers that they are about to be blasted. Or should it be a big surprise? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, through July 7th, shop Blueland’s July 4th Sale and get up to 25% off! After that, you still get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is sponsored by the iRestore Professional, for regrowing hair using light therapy. For a limited time, get a HUGE discount on the iRestore Professional when you use code Savage at iRestore.com Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From 24/7 Dom/sub relationships to abstinence, gooning to ghosting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity.

Her boyfriend of one year is perfect in every way! Except...he is stoned literally all the time. But he's a great lover, communicates well, and truly loves the caller. So is this really a problem? Will it be eventually? A gay man was raised Mormon, and got the hell out. Now he's living his best gay life, with a boyfriend he loves. But he never had a slutty phase, and worries that the only way to truly exorcise the Mormon mentality is to break free. On this week's show, Dan interviews Sacha Coward- a historian and writer specializing in LGBTQ+ history. His book "Queer as Folklore" makes perfect June reading. He and Dan talked about The Little Mermaid as trans allegory, how pornographic unicorns are, and the perverse straightness of the Nosferatu re-make. A little is on the Micro, all of it is on the Magnum. And, a gay man has been hooking up with a gentleman he suspects to be chronic liar. Is it wrong to ghost such a man? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by OneSkin, the world’s first skin longevity company. Keep your skin looking and acting younger for longer with OneSkin’s topical supplements. Get 15% off at OneSkin.co with code LOVECAST. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, queer dude, podcaster, homosexual, author, gay man, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From blowjobs to breaking up, erectile dysfunction to ethical non-monogamy and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since waaaay before Stonewall.

We start the show with two calls concerning the "post nut" state of mind. One man hates that he becomes selfish and unresponsive so much that he chooses not to come at all. Another wonders if we should start calling it "post-nut confusion." Just in time for Pride, it's a new After-Action Report! Hear the tale of Ian- a straight man who gave a man head for the first time. What were the circumstances of this premier dick-sucking? Would he do it again? Listen in, and find out. On the Magnum, while poor Dan was holed up with the Covid, he reached out to his TV expert pal Ashley Ray (of the hit podcast "TV I say,") for a rundown of the best shows out there right now. And, a straight ally is disturbed at the site of drunken revelry at Pride events. "Are you guys ok?" he seems to ask. Send us your questions and comments! Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Good Vibes. In celebration of Pride get 15% off by going to goodvibes.com/savage and to use the promo code SAVAGE15 at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial plus 25% off an annual subscription when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, homosexual, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From condoms to conservative Christians, camming to the Campsite Rule and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since 1991, actually.

When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life? A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with someone who is more intellectually aligned with him. Because you see, he has a Phd in engineering, and she has a mere bachelor in fine arts. When he says things like this, is it just an "avoidant deactivation tactic?" Let's move on. We are so excited about our guest this week! Nico Carney is a Brooklyn based comedian whose stand-up covers his experiences as a trans man from the South. He and Dan talk about how using humor works so much better than scolding to bring people in to understanding of trans experiences. They talk about genital preferences, and the benefits of interrogating your desires. And, FYI, after coming out in college, Nico still bagged hot chicks. Not a problem. A little is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum. And, do you have problems? Serious ones? This gal's problem is that her boyfriend loses her lighter sometimes. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, animal lover, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From squirting, to sexting, kissing to kink and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since you were a little, bitty baby.

A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to? Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub dynamic. Her dom wants her to peg him, but she worries she'll slip into dom mode. Dan coaches her on how to stay submissive in her head. Our guest this week is Jeremy Alder. The former fundamentalist Christian pastor made a U-turn and became a comedian instead. Their loss is our gain- Alder is dryly funny, sweet and bold in the face unkind, hypocritical Christianity. He and Dan talk about the disaster of homeschooling, buying guns for loved ones, and having a slutty phase after leaving the church. And, a gay man has been getting together with a guy for 10 years in a casual, friends-with-benefits style arrangement. Nobody in his life knows about this relationship. But after 10 years, the guy is suddenly not responding to any of the caller's texts. Is this a cruel, cowardly break-up? Or much worse? Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp.com: Making professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient – so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. For 10% your first month, go to Betterhelp.com/savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, psychic cartographer, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From rosebudding, to watersports, hankie codes to harnesses and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity for a long, long time.

A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew? A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh? On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musical theater-based parodies are what the world needs now, more than ever. He and Dan talk about his children's book ("Randy Rainbow and the Marvelously Magical Pink Glasses,") as well as being Randy Rainbow in a world full of haters, the special relationship between gay men and their grandmothers and how to have noisy sex without infuriating your uptight neighbor. This interview basically kicks off gay pride this year, so it's required listening. And, a woman and her husband are going to try a sex party for the first time. Besides all the conversations around expectations and boundaries, she wants to know: What are the fashion do's and fashion don'ts? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 Subscribe to Magnum⁠ for the full interviews, chats with Dan, and more! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com. This episode is brought to you by OneSkin, the world’s first skin longevity company. Keep your skin looking and acting younger for longer with OneSkin’s topical supplements. Get 15% off at OneSkin.co with code LOVECAST. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, trickster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From pegging to polyamory, BDSM to abstinence and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A man in a queer group chat saw that folks were talking about going to a bathhouse in their city for the first time. The caller explained what goes on there, how consent can be slushy, and trans men might not feel welcome. This shut down the conversation. Was he wrong to tell it like it is? A divorced woman with a 4 year old daughter is friendly with her ex-husband but not close. Her daughter is asking why mommy and daddy are not married and don't live together. She's never explained divorce to her daughter. How can she phrase it? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan speaks with Katie Simon, sexuality journalist and the author of the upcoming book Tell Me What You Like: An Honest Discussion of Sex and Intimacy After Sexual Assault. They discuss how survivors take many varied paths to healing including for some, going through a "slut phase." For anyone going through recovery from sexual trauma, or supporting someone who is, Simon's book is required reading, and this convo is a great place to start. And a gay, pre-op trans man has a troubling pattern. He can't have anal sex because of health issues, so penetrative sex for him involves his vagina. He gets together with gay men, explains his situation and his biology explicitly. But afterwards, his lovers flip out and reject him because they no longer feel like "gold star" gays. The experience is shredding. How can he find men who will work for him? Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide plus, a FREE Bedding Bundle- that’s, a Sheet Set, and Mattress Protector- with any Luxe or Elite mattress order. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial plus 25% off an annual subscription when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. This episode is brought to you by Beam’s Dream Cocoa Powder- packed with all-natural ingredients to help improve sleep. For a limited time, Beam is offering my listeners up to 40% off. Go to shopbeam.com/SAVAGE and use code SAVAGE at checkout. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, news junkie, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From apps to abstinence, unicorns to underpants and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

HA man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms. A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though she's never dated one. She would be interested in dating a bi man, but she requires monogamy, and worries that precious few bi men would be able to commit to her. Is it reasonable to ask a bi man to forgo wieners to be with her? For our guest this week, we are thoroughly chuffed to welcome Christine Wenc to the show. Wenc is the author of the new book "Funny Because It's True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire." Wenc was a member of The Onion’s original staff. She was also one of the first editors of The Stranger in Seattle where Dan got his start. The two talk about the Onion's history, how it influenced both mainstream journalism and comedy, fake news, and she and Dan reminisce about the old days. She also answers a couple of sex questions, and issues this important PSA: "The clitoris is much more than just a little button."- NOT fake news. A queer woman presents as masc, and non-binary folks recognize her as one of their own. But she's attracted to dudes. Should she alter her look to turn that male gaze in her direction? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is sponsored by the iRestore Professional, for regrowing hair using light therapy. For a limited time, get a HUGE discount on the iRestore Professional when you use code Savage at iRestore.com Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, town crier, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From infidelity, to iglooing, gay rights to icy Mikes and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Oh boy! A threesome might be brewing! A woman just connected with a hot guy through an app. He has another woman he sees, and the three of them plan to get together. But the caller is convinced that the other two are way more attractive than she is, and she worries she'll feel insecure and inadequate. How can she get over this stinkin' thinkin'? A woman has been in a casual friends-with-benefits relationship. The sex is fantastic. But then he started showing up less and less, and she discovered he gave her an STI. He feels terrible about it, so he's backing away. But she still wants his succulent D! Should she ask him to keep the "benefits" coming, or has she just been friend-zoned? Yes, being friend-zoned is tough stuff, but have you ever been unjustly incarcerated for 4 years in an Italian jail? No? This week's guest Amanda Knox has, and she offers her perspective on relationship problems with humor and grace. She and Dan talk about her prison hustle- how she got by in such hellish conditions, the value of awkwardness, and how to protect yourself when new relationship energy clouds your thinking. Amanda's new book "Free: My Search for Meaning" is out now, and highly recommended. And, a woman has stocked up on abortion medication in case her kids or kids' friend ever need it. But does it expire? Should she find a way to give her MnMs to someone else? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/SAVAGE and get on your way to being your best self. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, shaman, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From poppers to MnMs, slut-shaming to SSRIs and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since 1972.

Ooh la la! A young Canadian woman has been living in a European city, making friends and... having group sex. She doesn't speak their language- her friends are usually accommodating and speak English around her. But sometimes when the gang is banging, they revert to their native tongue and she feels left out. Should she let it slide, or let her lovers know she needs dirty talk translation? A woman with high libido has always been monogamous...until now. She reconnected with an old friend who confessed that he had a crush on her. He is in a poly relationship, and has also created a harem of women who he considers his "sluts." Should she let herself be recruited? It sounds hot to her, but a more traditional voice in her head warns her off. On the Magnum, it's the nightmare scenario: A woman's 11 year-old son snooped on her phone and found a cache sex pics starring his mother. Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of "Yes Your Kid" to talk about how and when to get a good conversation going with your kids about sex and privacy. And, it's time for an After Action Report! Andrew and his husband tried going to a jack shack for the first time together. Hear all about it. Have you tried something new recently? Was it great? Was it terrible? Just meh? Super-weird? Send us an email (with the subject line: After Action Report,) and we might contact you to be on the show. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, healer, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From slut harems, to monogamy, womens rights to parenting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

My what a busy friend! While a woman and her boyfriend were going through a painful, temporary separation, she confided in and was consoled by a male, bi friend of hers. He helped her through the difficult time. But he was also propositioning her ex-boyfriend at the same, damn time! Now that she is back together with her boyfriend, can she trust this friend again? A woman gives a compelling defense of faking orgasms. Will Dan Savage accept it? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back the thoroughly delightful comedian Zach Zimmerman. They discuss the word "daddy." Is it an honorific that one hurls at another? Or a pre-negotiated, agreed upon role? They also talk about anger in comedy, and the real meaning of tolerance. Zach's comedy special SURPRISE ME debuts on April 22. And, a woman is dating a new guy after ending her old relationship. She is still struggling with the break-up, but she isn’t sure how much to reveal to her new guy about this. When he asks “How are you doing?” should she be honest about missing her ex? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage Unlock your best skin with iRestore. For a limited time, our listeners will enjoy HUGE savings on the iRestore Illumina Face Mask with code Savage at iRestore.com. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, neologism generator and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From pegging, to tolyamory, GGG to santorum and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since Columbo was on TV.