If We Matter
Religion & Spirituality Podcas
When Neal and Judy moved to San Francisco they left a Christian “bubble.” Hoping to bring change, they found themselves on a paradigm-shifting journey of personal change. If We Matter is a podcast for people who want authentic and mutual relationships across dividing beliefs. Together, we’ll explore the issues of human dignity, diversity, and conflict. If you want practical tools for transforming relationships this podcast is for you.
Location:
United States
Description:
When Neal and Judy moved to San Francisco they left a Christian “bubble.” Hoping to bring change, they found themselves on a paradigm-shifting journey of personal change. If We Matter is a podcast for people who want authentic and mutual relationships across dividing beliefs. Together, we’ll explore the issues of human dignity, diversity, and conflict. If you want practical tools for transforming relationships this podcast is for you.
Language:
English
Website:
http://ifwematter.com/
Email:
Judy@ifwematter.com
Episodes
48: Stories are supposed to change
9/18/2020
Seasons change, circumstances change, people change and the world changes. everything is always changing. That means we have to allow and even insist that our stories change or we will find ourselves stuck.
The longer we hold a story the more likely we are to see it as truth. But any stories we hold are, at best, part of the truth. More often they are created in our minds by our own fears insecurities and desires.
The best way to keep from getting stuck is to make stories a part of our...
Duration:00:09:56
47: The stories we tell - tell the story of us
9/11/2020
I am becoming fascinated by the reality that all of us humans are always telling stories, to ourselves.
Every single observable fact carries meaning to us as individuals. We experience things and instinctively run them through the grid of our past experiences for interpretation. What comes out on the other side is a story. Facts are observable data, stories are things that give meaning to the facts; things like opinions, judgments, and beliefs. We rarely argue the facts with anyone. Facts...
Duration:00:09:43
46: Am I Kidding Myself?
9/4/2020
Such a fascinating question that I asked myself for the first time last night. The answer came so quickly that it surprised me.
Yes... I am always kidding myself and I do it without even noticing.
The reason I believe that, is based on some things I read once in the book Emotional Intelligence by Dan Goleman. Those things have recently resurfaced In my mind through other authors. Let me summarize it for you.
In the context of our normal human existence, we walk through life on guard...
Duration:00:17:19
45: But I’m in so much pain
8/28/2020
If you listened to episode 44 you may have responded with the thought, “but I’m in so much pain!”
I did, even as I was recording it. That’s because I was in the early stages of a really painful family crisis. So here I am, In more pain than I know what to do with, reminding myself that pain never comes without leaving behind some good. It’s the kind of good we don’t think about very much, especially in the midst of it. But it’s good in ways that I can’t afford to avoid.
I guess I’m...
Duration:00:09:25
44: I don’t want to feel this way
8/21/2020
So much is catching up with me emotionally these days. I want COVID to be over. I’m starting to feel trapped and angry. I really want to do some things that move me forward As a human being who lives with and for the sake of black lives knowing how much they matter. I can’t do much of what my heart wants to do until this is over. What’s happening around the election is genuinely disturbing to me. What is November going to bring?
Here is my reality:
I feel so many things I don’t want to...
Duration:00:07:31
43: You Upset Me (and a few other confessions)
8/14/2020
In this episode, Judy describes the way that our human lives bump into each other. As a result, we are always doing and saying things that upset one another.
The words that offer a new perspective this week are simply, “of course.” Human beings upset each other. That’s just what we do. It’s true because we experience a full range of emotions and the ability to think and choose for ourselves, along with so very much diversity.
If we plan for the inevitability of upset, we won’t be...
Duration:00:12:18
42: Why do such imperfect people demand so much perfection from each other?
8/7/2020
This question has been on my mind a lot lately and I think it’s connected to our fear. Acknowledging my own fear, and the broken ways of relating that have grown out of it creates a great foundation for change.
That’s because it humbles me and softens me toward myself. However, the impact will break down into more self-centered denial in the name of self-care, unless we choose to offer the same understanding to others.
Self-centered self-care encourages us to get rid of anyone who...
Duration:00:10:45
41: What am I really afraid of?
7/31/2020
Today’s episode is fueled by James Baldwin’s story I Am Not Your Negro, which highlights the role of fear in the story of our racism. He speaks powerfully undeniable and profound words straight into the heart of anyone who is willing to listen!
It got me thinking about fear. We may be living with more fear than most of us Americans are used to. Our American dream has kept us lost in a fantasy world that we are being forced out of. Maybe the issues facing us today are just highlighting fears...
Duration:00:11:40
40: Change is right here
7/24/2020
Today’s episode marks the beginning of a new series of episodes that will bring us to the end of year one of The If We Matter Podcast. For the next three months, our focus will be less on the issues that divide us, and more on the issues inside of us that have the potential to bring us together.
Life has gotten crazy around us, and I know I’m not the only one feeling afraid about what’s happening to our country. The two sides of our political system have become enemies and the idea of...
Duration:00:11:50
39: We are more alike than you think!
7/17/2020
Today’s episode is an interview with an ordinary person who happens to be a young mom with an amazing heart for people. Crystal was introduced to the If We Matter Podcast by someone she randomly met. When she reached out to me I knew immediately that I needed to know her, so why not make our conversation an episode? I think you will be intrigued by the similarities and differences in a way that might create new paradigms!
Want to dialogue more? Join our Facebook group here.
Any...
Duration:00:26:53
38: Do black lives matter?
7/10/2020
For a brief moment after the murder of George Floyd, I had the sense that our country was coming together. But things have definitely shifted. I don’t know about you, but that video required me to see things I didn’t want to see. It exposed me to the reality that the injustices I desperately wanted to believe were in the past are actually alive and well in the present.
It brought me face to face with myself in relation to the three words:
Black.
Lives.
Matter.
It required me to stop...
Duration:00:15:27
37: Does my black life matter?
7/3/2020
Regina Robinson is a beautiful, competent, confident educated woman who happens to be black. She is a mother of four, a devoted follower of Jesus and the Dean of Student Affairs at Cambridge College in Boston. The last few months have rocked Regina’s world as she grapples with the reality that her black life doesn’t actually matter to many of her fellow humans. Never before has she felt the danger associated with her black skin. Hearing the heart behind her words will impact your perspective...
Duration:00:26:35
36: Becoming conscious of the unconscious
6/26/2020
As racism is being exposed, I’m discovering the goodness of allowing the deeper parts of who I am to be exposed with it.
I’ve always wondered about the things hidden in my subconscious mind. What’s in there and how is it impacting who I am?
What I didn’t realize is that intentional awareness of how I’m responding to life in the moment offers the opportunity to bring those things hidden beneath the surface of my consciousness forward.
It’s not easy and what rises up isn’t always easy...
Duration:00:10:23
35: African American Bridges
6/19/2020
Much like Danté Upshaw and Neil Edwards, Jua Robinson is an African American who has chosen to live his life as a bridge. Not many will, and no one should be expected to. Maybe that’s what makes these men’s lives such a gift to all of us.
Jua lives in Boston with his wife Regina and their four kids. He works for an organization called the Boston Collaborative, serving the good of his city. As a follower of Jesus, His unique passion involves bridging the gap between a church he loves and his...
Duration:00:21:36
34: No one wants to be labeled
6/12/2020
Right?
I don’t like to put labels on others or have them put on me. A person is so much more than any label they wear, and labels have different meanings to different people. I hate being defined by other people who wear the same label as me. Labels generate assumptions and are packed with ore conceived notions.
Right now we don’t even know how to feel about wearing the basic label connected to our skin color. It used to be just a description of our external appearance, and white was...
Duration:00:15:02
33: We are not powerless!
6/5/2020
Today’s episode is a follow up with Neil Edwards (Episode 31) a man who is committed to speaking truth for the sake of added meaning.
I’m certain that new meaning will be added to these moments for you as Neil describes the toxicity of white supremacy in all of us. He speaks powerful words into our hearts to help us understand where we are, and what it will require of us, white people, to root it out.
Neil's anger is clean and soft in ways that so accurately reflect Jesus. He lays the...
Duration:00:27:17
32: Dismantling my human supremacy
5/29/2020
At the root of racism and every other related “ism” is the presence of supremacy. Us humans dabble in it every day and some of us live with our feet firmly planted in it, almost like an anchor.
We naturally connect with people who share our opinions, lifestyles, beliefs, etc. just affiliating with a like-minded group of people creates a bias in our subconscious minds because we feel that our way of thinking is superior. That bias becomes prejudice when we highlight our way of thinking in...
Duration:00:11:17
31: I can see myself in you
5/22/2020
Today’s interview is with a beautiful human being who happens to be black. Neil is a coaching colleague and a new friend who has deeply touched my life. His story is unique in that it began in the Bahamas where Neil was privileged to be among the country’s majority. He also attended a private international school, all the way through high school. There were one hundred and thirty students from over thirty different countries. Race was just a thing that described an individual. It meant...
Duration:00:25:51
30: Am I willing to expose myself?
5/15/2020
As Neal speaks of his recent years and personal journey through the issues of racism his intentions are to expose himself. As an older, white, American, male whose life has been devoted to the church, there is a lot to expose.
An experience of the black slavery museum with evangelical colleagues has driven voracious reading and deep introspection. The reality that he, “Doesn’t know what he doesn’t know,” has created humility and a willingness to discover the things he does know.
Check...
Duration:00:19:37
29: Wait, is Christian Supremacy a thing?
5/8/2020
If you are not a believer, you are probably ready to give that question a wholehearted “yes.” That’s because you have felt it.
On the other hand, If you are a believer, you might be feeling the exact opposite and a bit defensive. I was utterly surprised when that question rose up in me this week. It happened as I listened, and listened again, to episode 28.
Whoever you are, I hope you can hear me describe my journey through this week without judgment or resistance. I can invite that now...
Duration:00:14:28