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Avoid Toxic People, Places and Circumstances

Be vigilant as to where you go and who you spend your time with. They all contribute to the reality you manifest.


Rules Of Engagement - How To Behave In Arguments

Most relationships fail because one or both partners have poor communication skills. Issues are never adequately resolved, resentments build up over time, and eventually one of the two partners finally accepts the fact that the relationship is just not going to work and they exit stage left. Or they stay together in a love-hate relationship, longing for something better but not believing it's possible. Guess what? It is possible. Both of those scenarios of failed relationships are...


How To Deal With Social Anxiety

The treatment for social anxiety includes behavioral desensitization techniques as well as cognitive therapy techniques. Together, with practice and persistence, this condition can be managed effectively without medications.


When Should One Cut Relationships With Family?

If family members are toxic we are not obligated to spend time with them. We can accept them. We can love them. We can forgive them. It doesn't mean we have to endure their abuse.


How To Defeat Loneliness

Loneliness isn't about not having friends or not having a significant other. There are plenty of people with friends and significant others who are terribly lonely. Loneliness has to do with feeling disconnected from humanity. So what's the solution?


Don't Isolate. Quiet Your Mind. Conquer Your Ego

When we isolate from others we are avoiding dealing with our problems and we are reinforcing our dysfunctional view of ourselves and our world. Best to engage in the world and learn how to effectively navigate the slings and arrows. Best to quiet our mind, free it of the noise tsunami that bombards us 24/7. Best to conquer our ego which thinks it's us against them, kill or be killed.


How To Succeed - Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Don't get discouraged and demoralized when you fall off your path. Two steps forward, one step back is the natural progression of accomplishment and success. When you fall off your bicycle, don't beat yourself up with guilt and shame. Just jump back on the bicycle and start pedaling again. And you'll succeed at last.


The Forgiveness Diet - Anger Hurts, Forgiveness Heals

Letting go of anger, grievances, resentments and other attack thoughts is a key component of the Forgiveness Diet. When we release these negative emotions and replace them with thoughts of acceptance, tolerance, compassion and forgiveness, we esteem ourselves, we eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors, and our entire life experience gets better.


The Only Thing To Regret Is Having Regrets

It is best we unload our regrets. They are worse than a waste of time, they keep us stuck in the past, they keep us depressed, anxious, angry, sick in mind and body. No good comes from regrets. Best to let them go and spend our time and energy being in the Now, experiencing as much joy and peace as we can in every moment of every day with every interaction we have with the people and world around us. Best to look forward with optimism rather than backward with sadness and remorse. Best we...


If Something Someone Says Doesn't Make Sense, There's Another Agenda

When someone is explaining something to you, usually their motivation or reasoning for doing something, if it doesn't make sense, if it's not logical, it means they're telling you a story, they're not telling you the truth, there is another agenda, another issue they're keeping from you. To try to discuss with them why what they're saying doesn't make sense is pointless. They know it doesn't make sense. They know it's a lie. Better, perhaps, to confront them, gently, with the fact that...


Synchronicity and The Number 137

The theoretical physics Fine Structure Constant = 137. No one knows why. The Master Number of the Kaballah, the book of Jewish Mysticism = 137 as well. No one knows why. So what's it all about, Alfie?


Secret of Success - Mind Your Own Business - Put Your Own House In Order

It is our ego's need to control the universe. And so we judge. We impose. We interfere. But what we're really doing is sabotaging ourselves. When we work on ourselves rather than expending our energy trying to change and manipulate others, we become healthier and happier, and our relationships, as well as other aspects of our lives, get better.


Projection Is A Defense Mechanism To Avoid Taking Responsibility

We tend to judge others harshly for things that we ourselves do. Rather than hold up a mirror to ourselves and acknowledge our faults, we deny we're the problem and point the finger at others.


Dealing With Denial In Yourself And Others

On one level, denial is an unconscious defense mechanism to discharge anxiety. On another level, however, it's a choice. A mind game we're playing with ourselves.


Stop Crazy Thoughts and Catastrophic Thinking

We make ourselves crazy by indulging crazy-making thoughts. We make ourselves anxious and terrified by inventing a cascade of ever-increasingly frightening future possibilities that are extremely unlikely to happen and then reacting to them as if they are certain to happen and that we will be helpless to deal with them. Point being: We have a choice to terrorize ourselves with our thoughts, to be a victim of our thoughts, to be controlled by our thoughts -- OR-- to control our thoughts and...


Don't Be A Victim Of A Predator. Pay Attention

It is traumatic and terrible to be victimized. What adds insult to injury, so to speak, is when, out of a lack of situational awareness, we put ourselves in the path of predators. Best we be extremely vigilant when in new, unfamiliar surroundings, when we are around strangers and acquaintances we don't know well, and even, perhaps, when we are around people we presume to be our friends. The world is a more dangerous place than ever before, with predators everywhere, many of them smiling at...


End Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Getting In The Way of your Happiness, Success & Inner Peace.

Most of us don't get what we want in our lives because we sabotage ourselves: We procrastinate. We resist. We don't follow through. We don't do the things that we know are in our best interests. The end result is a life of unfulfillment and disappointment. It doesn't have to be that way. When we eliminate the guilt, shame, and self-loathing deeply-embedded in our unconscious mind which generate our self-destructive, self-defeating behaviors, our world changes for the better: We start...


Accept What You Can't Change and Stop Complaining

The Serenity Prayer reminds us to accept the things we cannot change, to have the courage to change the things we can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference. And I have added that when you are accepting the things you can't change, don't complain about it. Complaining is actually a demonstration that you are not in acceptance, and only makes everything worse.


Benzodiazepines Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

Benzodiazepines (aka tranquilizers) such as xanax, ativan, valium and klonopin can be very helpful on an intermittent or short term basis but when used daily, continuously, chronically they are a prescription for disaster because on a long term basis they are extremely likely to cause cognitive impairment and memory deficits, among other things, and can increase your odds of getting Alzheimer's Dementia.


Red Flags In The Morning, Lovers Take Warning. Pay Attention.

At the beginning of a relationship we are filled with so much infatuation and hope, we ignore the red flags and further invest in the relationship which may ultimately not be in our best interests.


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