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Social Anxiety Disorder

Social Anxiety Disorder is a condition of extreme anxiety related to meeting new people and being around people, the fear being that you will say or do something that will appear incredibly foolish and embarrassing. Rather than get proper treatment, you tend to avoid people and co-exist with your discomfort and happiness. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are techniques for decreasing the anxiety, de-sensitizing yourself, and increasing your self-esteem and confidence.


Sometimes Doing Nothing Is A Real Cool Hand

There are times when we need to take action, to be aggressive, to make our case, to stake our claim. And then there are times when it is best to not take action, to hold our tongue, to wait and see, to not expose our hand, to not act impulsively. There is great wisdom in knowing when to do which.


Why Hating Is Bad For You

To hate anything Is a mistake. Hate reduces clarity, increases impulsivity, and blocks the flow of wisdom from your Higher Self


How To Handle Toxic Relationships and Deal With Difficult People

Set boundaries. Validate, then counterpoint. Choose your battles. Everything is love or a call for love. Do you want to be right or happy? Anger hurts, forgiveness heals. Treat others as you wish to be treated.


Relationships. You've Got To Know When To Fold 'Em

Many of us stay in relationships way too long, way past the point where there is any real hope that things will change for the better and provide us with the satisfying, sustainable relationship that we desire. It is often the fear of loneliness that keeps us in the relationship. Perhaps the dread of having to start the process over again of searching for and finding a loving partner. As the red flags in the relationship pile up, we sweep them under the rug. Perhaps we have outbursts of...


Depressed and Want Your Life To Change? Take Action

We can get depressed because it runs in our family. We can get depressed because our family was dysfunctional and we developed insecurity and low self-esteem. We can get depressed because of our job, our health, our relationships. Medications may help. Talk Therapy may help. Taking action may help. Despite the tremendous fatigue, lack of interest, lack of motivation and drive, and feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that can come with depression, if we take action, if we force...


I Am Not A Victim Of My Mind

Our thoughts create our reality. Our fears generate our failures. Our love can move mountains. Best we choose our thoughts wisely.


Why We Don't Set and Maintain Boundaries With Difficult People In Our Lives

Many of us don't set and maintain boundaries with abusive people in our lives because we fear that rather than cooperate with what we are asking of them, they will choose to end the relationship, which then brings up issues of abandonment within us which generates anxiety and perhaps depression as well which we fear we will not be able to deal with. Consequently, the abuse continues, our emotional needs continue to be unmet, and we experience ongoing anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction.


Catastrophic Thinking Isn't Thinking. It's Terrorizing Ourselves

We terrorize ourselves with our fear thoughts. We exaggerate them and build on them to the point of actually believing they're likely to happen (which they usually aren't) and then we react with intense fear, panic, desperation, demoralization, etc. in anticipation of them happening. Best not to react to terrible things until they are actually happening. Prepare for the worst but don't live in perpetual daily dread of the future. Be here now. Find happiness today despite life's difficulties.


It's Exhausting Caring About What Other People Think

Many of us do not have a solid sense of self, such that when the world smiles at us we feel good, when the world frowns at us we feel bad. This makes us victims of the external world. This puts our personal power in the hands of others rather than in our own hands where it belongs. Best we not let undue praise or criticism fool us, diminish us or get in the way of us feeling good about ourselves. Regardless of other people's opinions and attitudes towards us, we know who we are.


Why Do I Advise People To Extend Love To Toxic People?

A number of people have challenged the idea of extending love to toxic people, narcissists, etc, claiming that these people can't change and you're only inviting more toxicity and pain. Let me clarify that we extend love to others, we forgive others, not to change them but to free ourselves from the emotional bondage that goes with hanging onto anger, resentments, grievances, etc. We forgive others for our own peace of mind. It doesn't mean we have to hang around them, tolerate them, or...


Stop Complaining. It's Abusive And Draining

Let me clarify that complaining has its place. It has its purpose. It has value. However, many of us complain to a much greater degree than is necessary or helpful. It becomes our default response to difficult people and circumstances in our lives, to the point where there is barely anything else we talk about. When this happens and complaining becomes a never-ending story with us, we become very negative and unpleasant to be around. We become emotionally abusive. Not healthy for us. Not...


Letting Go Of Baggage

Letting go of baggage is a choice. First, you choose to recognize your baggage rather than be in denial about it. Second, you choose to recognize that you have the power to let go of your baggage and make better choices. Third, you make better choices. Fourth, you repeatedly, consistently, persistently make those better choices until you have extinguished your self-destructive self-definitions and replaced them with healthier ones.


Denial Can Be Hazardous To Your Health, Happiness, Prosperity and Relationships

Denial is a unconscious psychological device that people use to avoid dealing with reality, to avoid dealing with facts about themselves that they prefer not to look at or acknowledge. The problem is that when the things we are denying are true they are usually things that are self-sabotaging and get in the way of our happiness, health, relationship success and material success. We need the courage to look at our flaws and our mistakes honestly so that we can change our behaviors and...


Riffing About Gun Violence, Cary Grant and A Greater Purpose

Riffing about gun violence, Cary Grant and why we are here.


Thoughts Create Reality. Positive Thinking. Pay Attention

Our thoughts create our reality. Our subconscious thoughts are the prime movers of our reality manifestation. To avoid victimhood and failure, and to harness the Law of Attraction in the best possible way, it's best that we program both our subconscious mind and our conscious mind for success, that we pay attention to our environment, that we are vigilant over our thoughts and that we maintain a positive attitude.


Don't Let Down Your Guard Until You Reach Your Goal

Whether we are trying to repair a relationship, or improve ourselves, or succeed at something great, it is critical that we don't get complacent as we start to see change and progress. It is critical that we not let down our guard, that we are vigilant every moment, that we are practicing our new tools and skills every moment, because if we assume we've locked in the changes when we haven't actually given it enough time, we are likely to regress and slip back into old patterns of...


Social Anxiety Disorder and Social Media Anxiety Disorder

Social Anxiety Disorder is about being afraid that when we speak people will judge us harshly, think we're stupid, foolish, etc. Social Media Anxiety Disorder is about being afraid that when we tweet or post, people will judge us harshly, think we're stupid, foolish, etc. What's the best way to deal with either disorder: Tweet Others As You Wish To Be Tweeted.


Do Dogs Reincarnate?

I have two personal examples from my life that suggest to me that dogs do reincarnate. It's a fascinating series of coincidences at the very least, even if you don't buy into the concept.


The Power Of Self-Esteem

When we have sufficient self-esteem our ego is neither inflated by adulation nor threatened by minimization from others. This leads to us making wise, empowering decisions in our lives.