Real Recovery Talk

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEB CLASS! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page If your loved one explodes in anger every time you try to help them with their addiction, this video will change how you understand what's really happening. After 15 years of sobriety, I can finally explain what was going through my head when I raged at the people trying to save my life. Their anger isn't about you - it's about shame, fear, and survival. Once you understand this, everything changes about how you approach them. In this video, I break down: Why your offer of help triggers their rage (the shame bomb) What they're actually protecting when they push you away The real translation of "leave me alone" and "you don't understand" Specific phrases that work better than "you need help" How to stay present without enabling The person you love is still in there. Your job isn't to make them ready - it's to be there when they are. 0:00 - Why they attack when you offer help 0:45 - The shame trigger 3:30 - You're threatening their survival tool 6:00 - Anger keeps you away 8:30 - What they're really saying 10:30 - What actually works 13:00 - Final message for families Consider our FAMILY RECONNECT PROGRAM! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/family-reconnect Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEB CLASS! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page If someone you love is struggling with alcohol and drugs, the words you choose matter more than you think. In this video, I break down the 4 phrases that push addicts deeper into their addiction — and what you should say instead. These are the exact things my dad said to me when I was using, and I'll show you why they don't work and how to communicate in a way that actually moves the needle toward recovery. 0:00 Intro: Words That Push Addicts Away 1:15 Phrase #1: "If you loved us, you would quit" 3:45 Why conditional love destroys trust 5:20 What to say instead of questioning their love 6:30 Free Monday Workshop (Register Now) 8:10 Phrase #2: "You're weak - why can't you stop?" 11:40 Why willpower isn't the answer 13:25 What to say instead of calling them weak 15:50 Phrase #3: Bargaining - "If you do this, I'll do this" 18:30 Why rewards backfire in recovery 20:15 What to say instead of negotiating 22:40 Phrase #4: "I don't care anymore" 25:10 Why detachment works but verbalizing doesn't 27:00 What to say when you're at your breaking point 29:30 Final thoughts: Being strategic with your words 31:45 How to get support for your situation Join my free Monday workshop: https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page 5 Mistakes Every Family Makes When Helping a Loved One with Addiction 📅 Every Monday at 6:30 PM ET Need more? Want continued support and guidence for your situation? Consider our FAMILY RECONNECT PROGRAM! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/family-reconnect Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page Does your new sober life seem to be boring and mundane? Are you having a hard time finding purpose? This is an episode that you dont want to miss! Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page What does it actually take to stay sober for the first 90 days? In this episode, we break down a simple, practical framework for alcoholics and drug addicts who want real stability — not just white-knuckling it. We also speak directly to families and loved ones, sharing clear benchmarks that help you tell the difference between real progress and empty promises. If you or someone you love is early in recovery, this episode gives you tangible actions you can start today and clarity on what healthy sobriety actually looks like. Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling guilty, confused, or responsible for someone else's choices? You're not imagining it — and you're not weak. In this episode of Real Recovery Talk, I break down 4 manipulation tactics addicts commonly use against the people who love them most. These patterns are subtle, emotionally charged, and incredibly effective — especially on parents, spouses, and family members who just want to help. I've been on both sides of this. I used these tactics when I was in active addiction, and today I help families recognize them so they can stop enabling and start healing. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page As we head into a brand new year, many family members and loved ones are carrying a mix of hope, exhaustion, and uncertainty — especially when someone they love is struggling with addiction. This video is not about resolutions. It's not about fixing anyone. And it's not about doing more. In this episode, I share a few simple intentions you can carry into 2026 — practical, grounded ways to protect your own well-being, strengthen connection, and walk into the new year with clarity instead of fear. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page If it's Christmas Eve and you're lying awake right now, worried about your child, this episode is for you. While the rest of the world seems to be celebrating, many parents are quietly carrying fear, guilt, and exhaustion—wondering where their son or daughter is, if they're safe, or if things will ever change. In this solo episode, I speak directly to parents who are struggling tonight. We talk about why Christmas Eve can feel heavier than any other night, the lies fear tells us when things get quiet, and what actually helps when you're feeling powerless. This isn't about fixing anything or having all the answers. It's about getting through tonight—with a little more peace, perspective, and hope. If you love a child who is struggling with addiction or destructive behavior, you are not alone. And this story isn't over. Merry Christmas. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Have someone in your life struggling with addiction? DO NOT MISS THIS! Free webclass: 5 MISTAKES FAMILIES MAKE WHEN TRYING TO HELP A LOVED ONE STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page In this powerful episode of Real Recovery Talk, we sit down with Ricki Santiago, a licensed clinician who opens up about his own experience growing up with an alcoholic mother—and how that trauma shaped his entire life. Before he was a therapist helping others heal… he was a kid watching his mom drink herself into the grave. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Have someone in your life struggling with addiction? DO NOT MISS THIS! Free webclass: 5 MISTAKES FAMILIES MAKE WHEN TRYING TO HELP A LOVED ONE STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION https://familyreconnectprogram.com/optin-page In today's episode, we break down the difference between true narcissism and the narcissistic behaviors that show up during addiction. These can look identical — manipulation, gaslighting, lack of empathy, emotional abuse — but the root cause is often very different. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar In today's conversation, Hilary shares one of the most powerful trauma stories we've ever had on the podcast. Before addiction ever entered her life, trauma did. From growing up in chaos… to being pushed into acting at five years old… to living in fear, shame, and survival mode — her story explains EXACTLY why so many addicts and alcoholics struggle the way they do. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I wanted to come on and share my gratitude for ALL OF YOU! Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar Getting into a relationship in early recovery can feel amazing… until it quietly becomes the thing that takes you out. In this episode, we talk honestly about why early-recovery relationships are so intense, why they so often end badly, and what actually makes a relationship healthy in long-term sobriety. And we finally share something big with the Real Recovery Talk family: Ben and Destiny are in a committed relationship now. 🎙❤️ We use their story as a real-life example of what can work in recovery—and why most people in early sobriety probably aren't ready yet Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar Learn how you can stop focusing on your addict loved one and RECLAIM your life back! Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 MindPump Media: https://www.youtube.com/@UCq0hKkwnW5Cw1wQqu455WrA Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? J oin Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar A lot of people think if they haven't gotten sober by 40, it's too late. That the damage is done. The truth? It's not too late — but it is different. In this episode, we break down what it really takes to get sober after 40. From rebuilding your health and relationships to rediscovering your purpose, this conversation is raw, practical, and full of hope. We talk about how to stop comparing your journey to everyone else's, how to get your body and mind back after years of neglect, and how faith and community play a massive role in long-term recovery. Whether you're just realizing you need help or you've been trying for years — it's not over. You can rebuild. You can recover. And your best years can still be ahead of you. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar When your own dad struggles with addiction, it changes everything. In this episode, Omar shares the painful truth about growing up with an alcoholic father — the fear, the confusion, and the faith that eventually brought healing. We talk about what addiction does to families, how faith can transform even the darkest situations, and why true recovery goes far beyond just "getting sober." Omar opens up about his father's alcoholism, his mother's strength, and how God used all of it to shape his purpose and calling. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar When Rachel was adopted as a baby, she didn’t understand why she felt so different. By age 12, she was already using drugs — searching for a sense of belonging she never felt. For the next 26 years, addiction took everything from her — her health, her peace, her identity. But through it all, she discovered a truth that changed everything In this episode, Rachel shares her powerful story of addiction, adoption, and redemption — from childhood confusion and rebellion to finally finding purpose, peace, and freedom in sobriety. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar You’ve probably heard the promises: “I swear I’ll change.” “You don’t trust me?” “If you loved me, you’d help me.” These are phrases many families hear over and over again — and it’s exhausting. In this video, we break down how addicts manipulate the ones who love them most, why it happens, and what you can do to stop getting caught in the emotional trap. This isn’t about blaming or shaming — it’s about understanding the psychology behind addict manipulation so you can finally respond with strength, clarity, and peace of mind. Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

🥃 Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join Our FREE WEBINAR! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar Why do we keep going back to drugs or alcohol — even when we swear we’re done? In this episode of Real Recovery Talk, Tom, Ben, and Jeff dive deep into the uncomfortable truth: for many, addiction becomes worship. It’s not just about the substances — it’s about what we’re running from, what we’re trying to fill, and the void that only a higher power or spiritual awakening can heal. Jeff, from Reprieve Treatment Center, shares his personal story of overdose, survival, and discovering true freedom in recovery. The guys discuss detox myths, the emotional and spiritual roots of addiction, and how to finally find peace without drugs. 😊 Join our SKOOL Group: https://www.skool.com/realrecoverytalk/about?ref=80971acc3d9f4e91bd9070fe6810e639 📖 Join our Big Book Study! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/bigbookstudy 🔴 Tom IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalktom/ 🔴 Ben IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkben/ 🔴 RRT IG: https://www.instagram.com/realrecoverytalkpodcast/

Do you have a family member/loved one struggling with addiction? Join our next FREE webinar! https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/webinar We are discussing alcohol treatment. What to know and how to MAKE SURE you get what you need. Contact me: Tom@realrecoverytalk.com Join our FREE FB Support group!: https://www.facebook.com/groups/realrecoverytalk Download our free guides!: https://www.realrecoverytalk.com/guides