The DNA of Mindful Relationships
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Ep. 11: Assert Thy Self
In this episode, Di and Alex explore the difference between different styles of communication including Assertiveness, Passiveness and Aggressive behaviour and how some people confuse aggression for assertion. Di states that the main aim of effective communication is to create a win-win situation to get what you want without walking all over the other person.
Ep. 10: Unravelling Travellings
Holidays are meant to be a time of fun and unwinding but sometimes travelling with your partner can cause stress from being out of your normal routine and having to make decisions on things such as what to see and do. In this episode Di & Alex discuss practical tips for achieving a win-win when away, all from the back seat of a taxi in Indonesia.
Ep. 09: The Gender Agenda
Di and Alex explore the two worlds of Mars and Venus and men and women. They discuss how females are great multi-taskers, while men excel in highly task-focused projects. They also share the notion that men's deepest fear is about being incompetent and not good enough whereas women can be unconsciously afraid of being worthy of love. Di brings up Mr fix it, man caves and touches on different love languages. Finally, they discuss the top 3 mistakes men and women make in relation to their...
Ep. 08: Mindfulness Matters
Di and Alex discuss what Mindfulness is and how it can help us in our relationships. When we practice mindfulness on a daily basis, we develop an awareness that helps us stay in the present moment with our partners which in turn makes it easier to deal with issues as they arise without getting tangled up in past emotions and future worries.
Ep. 07: Attachments Included
Attachment styles are patterns of intimacy developed in our formative years that may have an impact on future relationships. Di shares with Alex the model developed by Stan Tatkin to simplify attachment theory using the metaphor of waves, islands and anchors, from his book, "Wired for Love." Waves have an up and down style where they want to be close but push people away; the Island likes to have alone time and their own space whilst anchors have a nice balance of both waves and islands. The...
Ep. 06: Help Me If You Can
How do you know when it's time to seek outside help for your relationship? Di and Alex explore the triggers to identify when to look outside of your relationship for advice, how to find that professional help and how to know if they are a good therapist. They discuss the difference between a psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor and life coach and help you to identify which one is appropriate for any given situation.
Ep. 05: Fight Club
The first rule of fight club is...don't talk about fight club. Well, Di & Alex discuss the importance of actually talking about how you both respond to differences and react to conflict. Di discusses 10 tips and agreements for having a fair fight:
Ep. 04: Same Same But Different
Di and Alex explore whether it is necessary to have a lot of things in common to have a successful loving relationship. Di compares interests in common with values in common and concludes that it is more important to have similar values like beliefs about family, culture, religion, money etc... than to have interests in common. Di talks about the book Wabi Sabi Love written by Arielle Ford which is the art of finding perfect love in an imperfect relationship.
Ep. 03: Drama Queens & Villains
In this episode, Di introduces Transactional Analysis, a model of social interaction from the 1950's and the Drama Triangle created by Stephen Karpman in the 1960's. They discuss the roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer and how people can rotate through these roles as they get drawn into the drama. They also discuss the Winners triangle created by Acey Choy in the 1990's where he replaced the Victim with Problem Solver, Rescuer with Carer or Nurturer and Persecutor with Asserter and...
Ep. 02: Shut Up & Talk To Me
Ep. 02: Shut Up & Talk To Me Di & Alex talk about the importance of communication is in a relationship. Di starts with going over the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse again as she had forgotten the fourth one: Criticism, Stonewalling, Contempt and Defensiveness. They discuss using the strategies of mirroring, reflective listening, checking in and asking, "Is there more?"
Ep. 01: To Be or Not To Be...Perfect
Ep. 01: To Be or Not To Be...Perfect Di and Alex discuss the possibility of creating the perfect relationship. Is it possible? Perfection is difficult to achieve but creating a healthy, loving, kind and compassionate relationship is highly possible and achievable. Di talks about John Gottmans research into couples stated that he found that there are 4 characteristics that can predict with high accuracy the demise of a relationship, called the 4 Horsemen of The Apocalypse: Criticism,...