Back from the Abyss: Psychiatry in Stories | Psychotherapy, Trauma, and Psychedelics

In this solo episode Dr. H shares his thoughts on the unexpected risks of feeling too much positive energy and/or identification with a patient. This talk is also a sneak preview into the workshop that Dr. H teaches with Dr. Hillary McBride called "I Love You I Hate You...Are You My Mom?' Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Today’s story is one of genetic predisposition, environmental triggers, and finally a psychiatric flame thrower. Whitney’s uncle had a particularly severe form of bipolar disorder and she too began to develop mood instability and depression as an adolescent. When we think of environmental triggers for mania, we tend to think of sleep deprivation, substances, and the postpartum period. And through her 20s and 30s, Whitney began to have more serious bouts of hypomania during times of sleep deprivation or in her postpartum periods. But it took an increasingly severe weed habit to bring her to the horrors of mania with psychosis. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

The US has a major suicide problem, around 50,000 people every year, and 60% of these suicides are gun suicides. The number one risk factor for completed suicide is not depression or anxiety or addiction….it’s access to means, and it turns out that it’s actually not that easy to impulsively kill yourself, unless you have ready access to a gun. We are finally starting to talk about ways to keep guns out of the hands of potentially suicidal people, and a concrete step in that direction is something called Donna’s Law— a program where people can voluntarily be put on a no-sell list during times of psychological crisis or instability. Donna’s Law is named after Donna Nathan, who impulsively bought a handgun in 2018 in New Orleans and shot herself during a period of psychiatric crisis. There were no barriers in place, no waiting period or no-sell list...Donna found easy access to means and paid the ultimate price. We first hear the voice of Katrina Brees, Donna’s daughter. Katrina tells us more about who Donna was, how she lived and how she died. After we hear from Katrina, Dr. H leads a discussion with two prominent Colorado voices for both Donna’s law in particular and suicide prevention in general— Dr. Dave Iverson is a Denver-based psychiatrist, a board member of Colorado Ceasefire, and lifelong advocate for society’s most vulnerable folks, including those on the streets or in the justice system… also Ginny Mack joins the conversation, she is a Ft Collins-based psychiatric nurse practitioner, a Navy Veteran, and a longtime advocate for suicide prevention efforts on the state and local level. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Donna's Law for Suicide Prevention https://www.donnaslaw.com/ Donna's Law for Colorado https://www.donnaslawforco.com/ Colorado listeners who would like to get involved in the awareness campaign for Donna's Law, please email: donnaslawforco@gmail.com Golden Gate suicide study https://www.goldengate.org/assets/1/6/suicide-deterrent-seiden-study.pdf Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Today’s story explores how we love, how we grieve, and how we eventually find some sort of equilibrium thereafter. This episode is a heartbreaking, yet beautiful story by Colorado-based somatic therapist Darci Meyers about her journey through multiple losses, grief, and ongoing recovery. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Darci Meyers http://www.darcimeyers.com/ Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Support the show

Kari reconnected with her birth mother in her 40s and finally began to understand the suffering for which she had no words. This is a story of adoption and reunification, of forgetting and remembering, of finding a truth without words in the wisdom of the body. Kari’s birth mother was able to see something deep in Kari that she had never had words for….and thus began her path toward healing. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Elemental Psychedelics Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy Training https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ketaminetraining Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Kate started her addiction journey at a young age, using substances as a salve for her terrible grief. Later, drugs and alcohol helped her to cope with the transition to nursing and the unending demands of a hospital setting. But as with all addicts, this strategy worked until it didn’t….Kate eventually had to find a new way to cope if she was going to survive past her 30s. Kate Gibson (The Coleman Institute) Kate@thecolemaninstitute.com Kate.gibson.dnp@gmail.com Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Explore the full BFTA Content Catalog: A listener-built, human-curated index of every Back From The Abyss episode to help you find themes, topics, and episode formats of interest. Best viewed on a laptop or desktop (not mobile). Content Catalog (in Google Sheets): https://bftapod.short.gy/index BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Dr. H dives deep into a patient's scary, confusing, and ill-advised list of psych meds to illustrate some deeper truths and lessons about psychopharmacology and the med management model of psychiatry. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Explore the full BFTA Content Catalog: A listener-built, human-curated index of every Back From The Abyss episode to help you find themes, topics, and episode formats of interest. Best viewed on a laptop or desktop (not mobile). Content Catalog (in Google Sheets): https://bftapod.short.gy/index BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Dr. H sits down with Dr. Elizabeth Fenstermacher, Medical Director of the TMS Clinic at the University of Colorado- Anschutz to explore the growing role of TMS and neuromodulation in psychiatry. They explore questions such as: •How should we think about TMS vs ketamine in the treatment of depression? Trauma? OCD? •Who are the best candidates for TMS? •What are the relative merits of intensive TMS (SAINT) vs standard protocols? •How might TMS and ketamine work together to promote psychiatric stability? Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Dr. Elizabeth Fenstermacher https://som.cuanschutz.edu/Profiles/Faculty/Profile/33013 Patient selection for TMS- Case report with Dr. Fenstermacher https://journals.lww.com/hrpjournal/fulltext/2025/11000/case_report__personalizing_transcranial_magnetic.3.aspx Explore the full BFTA Content Catalog: A listener-built, human-curated index of every Back From The Abyss episode to help you find themes, topics, and episode formats of interest. Best viewed on a laptop or desktop (not mobile). Content Catalog (in Google Sheets): https://bftapod.short.gy/index "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

There is a growing awareness in psychiatry that not all psychiatric illness is psychiatric— some percentage of what presents in psychiatric settings is actually triggered by autoimmune responses to various pathogens and insults. In the late '90s a syndrome called PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with strep) came on the scene with cases of sudden onset OCD and tics that appeared in conjunction with strep infections. The theory behind PANDAS was that parts of the basal ganglia of the brain had exterior cell proteins which were very similar to those of the strep bacteria, and as the immune system began to attack the strep bacteria, it also began an autoimmune assault on parts of the midbrain, including the basal ganglia, thus producing a sudden onset of OCD or tics. In recent years PANDAS has evolved into a broader concept called PANS— pediatric acute onset neuropsychiatric syndrome— which includes a vast array of neurological and psychiatric symptoms and syndromes that can potentially be triggered by autoimmune reactions. It can be tricky to diagnose PANS….this is probably why it is still a somewhat controversial diagnosis in some arenas. We don’t have a clear and consistent set of labs or biomarkers to positively determine PANS, and because the syndrome is so broad in how it can present, clinicians struggle to come up with a modal or average presentation that they can put in their pattern recognition systems. One feature that seems fairly classic for PANS is that the symptoms tend to increase during and/or right after a concomitant infectious illness, presumably because the immune system activation is reigniting the autoimmune attack on the central nervous system. Today’s story features a mom, Kari, and her daughter, Zoe. Zoe had lots of illness and immune system issues as a young child, first fatigue and then GI symptoms, then profound mood instability, and then she eventually developed horrific treatment resistant anorexia which did not respond to the best treatments psychiatry had to offer. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Psychotherapy can often get stuck in a there and then storytelling mode....how do we shift the therapeutic encounter into the immediacy of the Here and Now? Here Dr. H shares 10 questions which shine a spotlight on what's happening (and not happening!) between therapist and patient. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Dr. H sits down with Jade Miller, a peer support specialist and advocate for public education about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). In the first part of this episode, Jade shares her story and how she came to understand that the puzzling gaps and often frightening incongruities in her life were caused by her rotating through a number of dissociated identities or alters, initially protecting her… but eventually leaving her powerless to stop repeated traumatization. Jade and Dr. H then talk shop about DID and Jade challenges some of Dr. H's long held beliefs. Jade Miller https://payhip.com/peersupportformultiples Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

BFTA storyteller Frank shares the joy, confusion, chaos, utter fear, and deepest gratitude when he and his partner Brad adopted and raised two boys, ages 4 and 2, from the foster care system. Twenty years ago, when Frank adopted the boys, trauma was not in the public awareness as it is today, and he was told that these little boys, who had spent some time in a meth house, might well have some challenges…..but he never could have expected what awaited. Can love overcome trauma? Can stability and structure and patience and compassion adequately compensate for profound early childhood neglect and abuse? Frank’s story is just one example, but it’s a beautiful one, these two dads trying to find a way to heal deep attachment wounds without a roadmap. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

Rachael, a trauma therapist and today's storyteller, describes how her early childhood abuse was buried by the protective mechanism of dissociative amnesia. As Rachael wrote to Dr. H, “The only way I could continue to live, with no way out, with no one to tell, with no words even to describe what was happening to me, was to forget what was happening to me….when our minds forget, our bodies remember.” Rachael saved herself by forgetting, then was forced to finally face what happened to her when her body carried out its ultimate rebellion in the context of having her third child, her first girl….a little baby girl, with no one to protect her….or at least that’s what the terrible and unrelenting obsessions began to say. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Rachael Parsons Svendsen https://www.rachaelsvendsen.com/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show Support the show

This story is a mirror to Elizabeth’s story from season 1 episode 1. Today’s storyteller Sarah was so moved by Elizabeth’s story that it helped her to trust Dr. H's recommendation to take a pretty scary medication, the extremely powerful antipsychotic and mood stabilizer called clozapine. So why tell this story again? As they say, history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does often rhyme, and Sarah’s story rhymes beautifully with Elizabeth’s. Both had severe and treatment resistant bipolar 1 disorder, formerly known as manic-depression. Both tried all the meds, did all the things, then eventually reached a point of utter hopelessness and despair….and then they had to trust Dr. H enough to try one more thing. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

In today’s story we explore what it’s like to be on the autistic spectrum, and more specifically, how a later life diagnosis can totally change the way you view the world and yourself. Aurelie, our storyteller today, was an autism expert, a clinical psychologist who had trained with some of the premier autism experts in the country…yet she didn’t discover her own autism until she was 40 years old. This episode explores why women on the spectrum are so often missed, how women on the autistic spectrum are so often masters of masking, which means imitating the mannerisms and behaviors of neurotypical people, thus allowing them to both fit in and also to be left hiding in plain sight. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Dr. Aurelie Westerlin https://www.ncawag.net/our-team/dr-aurelie-welterlin "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show

How do you rebuild trust amidst the ashes of trauma? This is the story of Sean, an up and coming star tennis player whose coach carefully selected him and then groomed him for years of sexual assault. His trust destroyed, Sean had to find a way to try to trust again…..and after many years of hiding and pretending and near self-destruction, Sean finally was able to share the details of what happened to him. Thus began his therapeutic journey of finding compassion for himself and trust toward others…with the guidance of his two devoted therapists and the assistance of MDMA. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

In this fourth annual summer psychedelic special, Dr. H sits down to hear some hard-earned wisdom from a therapist colleague who has been doing underground MDMA and psilocybin work for years. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Text us a message! Chris and Craig invite Antonio Sacre, an LA-based professional storyteller, author, and BFTA super-advisor into the Fishbowl to deconstruct season 6. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Text us a message! Craig sits down with his mentee and colleague Mandy Bliss, a psychiatric NP in Louisville KY, to explore the compelling and complex challenges of meeting the ever-expanding need for psychiatric care. Unlike in psychiatric residencies, much of the current training of psychiatric NPs is done online. Does this constitute adequate training? And what of psychotherapy? Mandy Bliss MSN, APRN, FNP-BC, PMHNP-BC https://blisspsych.com/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ BFTA/ Dr. H https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/

Send us your questions for Fishbowl 6! Craig sits down with Colorado-based psychotherapist and Enneagram expert Joy Gribble (Elemental Psychedelics; Reflective Healing) to explore how the Enneagram can predict the strengths, fears, and blind spots of both the therapist and the client/patient in the complex dynamics of therapy. Joy Gribble https://www.reflectivehealing.com/about-joy-gribble-fort-collins BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ BFTA/ Dr. H https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/