Securing Sexuality

It's hard to build connections, much less businesses, when you can't communicate freely online. For small business owners, online platforms are crucial to promoting their brand to potential customers and collaborators. But for sęxual health professionals, this is hindered by social media policies that conflate the professional with the prurient. Thankfully, there are folks like Leah Spasova, founder of the Sëxperts Business Community and advocate for entrepreneurs everywhere. She joins Wolf and Stef this week to talk about community-building strategy, championing intimacy & wellness innovation, and doing what it takes to build a business in the digital age. Show Notes

It's been at least a month since Wolf and Stef have ruined online dating for someone, right? Well, guess who's back, friends! From Stef's love of forensic procedurals to Wolf's fascination with oracle trilateration, we're here to explain and explore a whole new kind of vulnerability in some of the biggest dating apps in the business. Whether you are online to meet someone for the next thirty years or the next thirty minutes, you're going to want to hear this. Show Notes

You know that feeling when you meet someone new, and everything seems to click, and you're super excited to hear from them until, one day... you don't? Yeah. You got ghosted. If you've ever been left thinking WTF after a promising paramour pulls a vanishing act, this episode is for you! This week, Stef and Wolf are joined by Peter Jonason, a social/personality psychologist who uses evolutionary theory to (mostly) explain personality, mating strategies, and sęxuality. He's here to explain why ghosting happens and what lessons we can learn about dating by looking at how other creatures approach courtship. Show Notes

What do the Gremlins, Feminist Theory, and Stefani's 3rd grade Odyssey of the Mind team have in common? They all got us thinking about adaptive technologies and how we can promote pleasure and intimacy across the lifespan. In this week's free-ranging conversation, Stef and Wolf talk about aging, living and loving with disabilities, and Stef's favorite buzzy (and not so buzzy) toys for all bodies. Show Notes

This week Wolf and Stef are joined by the amazing Mona Terry, Chief Victims Officer for the Identity Theft Resource Center. In an age where it seems like our data is stolen by someone new every day, she's here to help us understand the scope of the problem, the systems that can protect us, and what to do if (when) it happens to you. Show Notes

Wolf and Stef just got back from New Orleans - a city known for daring and debauchery. So it's probably not a huge surprise that the #1 question they were asked by the folks they met in NOLA was, "What can I do to keep from getting called out when I say or do something that rubs others the wrong way?" Doxxing is a very real concern these days, and self-righteousness has been weaponized on both sides of the culture war. Wolf and Stef wax philosophical about this and discuss what, if anything, someone can do to keep from being canceled. Show Notes

Friend of the show and brand new author Stephanie Sigler is joining Wolf and Stefani this week and she is opening up... about all things ENM! A multiple-award winning sėxuality coach, she's here to share her tips on everything from how to navigate a group chat when you're chatting about "group activities" and what NOT to do on lifestyle apps to the best way to update- and if you choose, disseminate- your personal health info quickly and privately. Listen in this week as Wolf learns what to do when TWO Stef's show up to the conversation. Show Notes

A man in Britain is suing Apple for the dissolution of his marriage. Could his wife have been upset about his years of infidelity? No way- clearly, his iOS is to blame. This week, Stef and Wolf sit down to ask why this case is happening, what designers could do differently to prevent these situations, how to best keep your everyday messages private, and also just a general "WTF, Richard?" Show Notes

Stefani spent many years working in shelters for people at risk: homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, and shelters for young people who didn't feel safe at home. There's one thing they all lacked: pretty much any kind of cybersecurity. Yeah! The people who are protecting the most vulnerable among us are often operating from a pretty vulnerable place themselves. This week, Stef and Wolf are joined by Dr. Kelley Masata, the founder and CEO of Sightline Security, a nonprofit which works with other nonprofits to develop a security strategy that protects their people, supports their mission, and fits their budget. She's here to share her own story of cyberabuse and her vision for creating a safer online world. Show Notes

It's summer in an even-numbered year and you know what that means! No, not easier math for numerologists... the Olympics are back! And while neither Goerlich is known for their athletic acumen, Stefani is here to answer all of Wolf's questions about the latest gossip coming out of Paris. From cardboard beds to a cornucopia of condoms... we've got all your pre-Games gossip (and perhaps a little sęx-and-tech context!) for you this week on Securing Sexuality. Show Notes

The amount of peer-to-peer surveillance these days has gotten downright creepy. Behavior we'd never tolerate from our neighbors (staring in our windows, jotting down our dog-walking schedule) have become ubiquitous through the use of things like Ring cameras and other "internet of things" home products. Wolf and Stefani talked about app-based surveillance in episode 77- The New Peeping Toms, and this week they're joined by Albert Fox Cahn of the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project, whose here to tell us how to protect yourself from constant, low-key monitoring... or if you even can.

RSA is one of the biggest Information Security conferences in the country, drawing 50,000 people to San Francisco from around the world to learn from some of the leading voices in technology... and for some reason? They gave Stefani a microphone. This week's episode, recorded live at RSA, features her thoughts on how the internet is rewiring our erotic identities, the role that hackers and technologists can play in protecting intimate relationships, and why the Elf on the Shelf is an existential threat to society. You should check it out! ⁠Show Notes⁠

Friend of the show and all-around badass, Kurt Fowler is back with us to discuss his new book The Rise of Digital S3x Work out now from NYU Press. The internet has revolutionized s3x work perhaps more than any other profession and Kurt is here to tell Wolf & Stefani all about how innovative workers are using the internet to attract clients, shape personas, share information, screen potential clients, and build community. Show Notes

Stef & Wolf were invited to be Guests of Honor at PenguiCon 2024 and they are here to report on 48 hours of pure awesomeness. Lots of talks (they gave four separate presentations) and LOTS of great questions later... they're here to tell you all about it. Have you ever wondered what you get when you combine Open Source, Sci Fi, and S3x Toys? You'll find out this week on Securing Sexuality! Show Notes

Hey there, Mr(s) Incognito Mode! You're doing all the right things when you browse online. No one knows what you're searching for and you know better than to actually make an account on the sexywebz, right? Yeah... we've got some bad news for you. This week Stef and Wolf are joined by Alessandro Polidoro, technology attorney and digital rights activist who's here to tell us all the sneaky ways that websites (yes, those websites) are tracking your searches and how this information can be weaponized against you. Alessandro is working to make sure your private pleasures remain just that. Because after all, you didn't sign up to be a data p0rn star. Show Notes

Stefani is out sick, but don’t worry- it’s not Covid! Speaking of the pandemic? Since 2020, the rise of Zoom dates has become a fascinating phenomenon. These virtual meet-cutes not only offer a practical solution for distance or health concerns but also introduce a whole new dynamic to the dating scene. Weaving in tips on avoiding romance scams with tips for fun-yet-secure Zoom dates, Wolf does his best to carry on alone. Show Notes

This is the 80th episode of Securing Sexuality. Each week, Stef and Wolf sit down at their desks to chat about the world of intimacy and technology... or do they? How can you tell if the voices you're hearing right now belong to the people you think they do? Can you be sure that the faces you see on your screen are real? Do the Goerlichs exist at ALL?! Lucky for you, Information Security and Risk Management expert Joshua Marpet is with us this week to give you the answer... and that answer is "damned if we know." Show Notes

One of the top questions listeners ask the Securing Sexuality Home Team is how to minimize the amount of data they feed to "the machine." Unfortunately, we don't have a good answer for you, especially now that AI seems to be developing...gaydar? Tune in this week as Wolf and Stef discuss the subtle, even subliminal data points that Large Language Models are using to figure out your most personal information- whether you intend to share this info or not. Show Notes

Keigh-Lee Paroz is a U.K. based data privacy expert who is deeply passionate about human rights, accessibility, gender equality, and the ways in which technology can influence all three. This week, she's joining Wolf and Stef to explain Europe's General Data Protection Regulation and how better security practices can build a better world. Show Notes

We're all familiar with the way that big businesses collect, analyze and sell our personal data. No one LIKES it, but most of us have resigned ourselves to the fact that the stuff we share on social media is going to be, well, shared. But what happens when the entity tracking your location, sharing your personal data (address, religion, political views) is not a website you've chosen to use but the stranger in line behind you at the pharmacy? How do we respond when our neighbors are the ones monitoring- and sharing- our most private details with the world? This week, Wolf and Stef talk about the rise of peer-to-peer surveillance tech and the ironic lack of information about who's behind these apps. Show Notes