Selfie Valuation

So this is how the podcast ends, not with a bang, but with a riveting activity straight from the mind of one of the internet's staunchest "Selfie" fans. That's right, it may be the end, but it's all fun and games (and fond memories) until, and up to, the very last minute. Twenty-six episodes later and Beth and Evan have finally come to their predetermined stopping point, having spent hours on what this short-lived sitcom was and what it could have been. If it helps at all, remember that...

Our truest fans will forget, however momentarily, that the title of this episode came from the "Selfie" season and series finale. Instead, they might think that it refers to them and how beautiful they are in this morning, or that they in fact arose from slumber with headphones on, already listening to the internet's #1 "Selfie" podcast. Nobody likes it when a good thing ends, but Beth and Evan put on their bravest faces and recap the very last episode ever of a very, very, very good sitcom....

This week Evan and Beth are keeping it in the family by bringing on a special gue- oh, sorry, there's been a misunderstanding. Evan and Beth are DISCUSSING family. Specifically the families of Eliza Dooley and Henry Higgs. Apologies for any confusion. Tune in to hear what number child they are (though they know they're #1 in your hearts, listeners), what Eliza's sister's baby's Instagram handle would be, and exactly who to call when you've been in an automobile accident.

It's 2019 and gym membership numbers are at an all-time high! What better way to motivate yourself to hit the gym than to set a goal for yourself? It could be something as daunting as hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, or perhaps even the (comparably) more manageable Tough Mudder? No, this episode isn't about difficult mothers (which is a joke that works much better if this description is read aloud), though that is definitely something Evan will jokingly discuss in next week's episode. This...

Television enthusiasts will be familiar with Dan Harmon (once most well-known for "Community", now [in?]famously so for "Rick & Morty") and his formula for sitcom writing. The truly successful will stick to it without deviation. It's for that very reason that Beth and Evan are keeping with what's tried and true: diving into an episode of "Selfie" with a little less preparation than is probably advisable (and yielding some quality discussion [and a teaser of what's to come] to boot!).

"Perestroika?" you may be muttering aloud. "Is that some sort of three-wheeled vehicle from the capital of France?" The most fortunate among you know that this is not the case, and that listening to this very good episode of this very good podcast will give you the answer you need (and more!). In this case more refers to an easy, breezy, in-depth recap of the eleventh episode of "Selfie", marking the antepenultimate installment of the series. It also refers to the entertaining details about...

"Selfie" was a sitcom that aired in the Year of our Lord 2014, and was categorized as a "romantic comedy". This episode of this podcast is about a certain episode of that series, but is more accurately about romcoms as a film genre. As Julia(?) would say, "But seriously, folks," there's some excellent discussion here that springboards out of the idea that "Selfie" could be revived as a feature length movie. Spawning from that, like Athena birthed from the forehead of Zeus, is another even...

Imagine visiting your local karaoke bar, except instead of queuing up Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" instead it's the tenth episode of "Selfie", a sitcom that was here today (at some point in 2014) and gone tomorrow (at another, later point in 2014). That's what Beth and Evan did! That intrepid duo then got to recapping that episode for your listening pleasure! Their viewing experience has been condensed down into 3/4 of an hour of auditory gold, the perfect soundtrack as you drive to the...

How ironic would it be if on the commentary for an episode called "Follow Through" the co-hosts of this podcast inadvertently took a break for one of their birthdays (as a cover for technical difficulties causing the episode not to be posted online as intended)? Oh, wait, is that not how irony works? This week Evan and Beth talk a LOT about what the future of "Selfie" might have been, more specifically a revival of the show today, in the Year of our Lord, 2018. Who is it for, who does it...

"I don't know why I'm having trouble committing to something that sounds so good." That's something that an ABC exec should've though to themselves way back in 2014, when "Selfie" was on the chopping block and so close to getting so, so good. This week's episode is all about hard choices and not realizing what you had in front of you this entire time. Is that a theme that applies to the longtime friendship between this podcast's two co-hosts? It isn't, but can you imagine if it did?

As any Netflix enthusiast should know, tomorrow is Sabrina Spellman's 16th birthday, the date of her Dark Baptism which just so happens to coincide with a blood moon eclipse! Fans of this podcast, however, know that the real focus is Henry Higgs's 40th, which continues on into this week's episode. Beth and Evan talk secret shames, dinner parties, and how future "Selfie" installments might have flipped the scripts of the show so far. This intrepid duo doesn't need the Dark Lord to breathe new...

"Hi, I'm Rod, and I like to party," is a line from a very funny movie. It's also what Eliza would say, if one of her nicknames was Rod. Eliza loves to party, and Henry? Henry. . . not so much. One might even think that might create a conflict that leads to trauma, stress, AND disorder! It's Tuesday, and that means it's time to hit pause on Blues Traveler's "Run Around" and hit play on another episode of "Selfie Valuation". Listen to this while drinking, while in the office, or both! All that...

This week Beth and Evan discuss the merits and relative value of Henry's girlfriend, the jewels of Julia, if you will. As it turns out, Allison Miller could have contributed a lot more to the show. Then again, everyone could have if "Selfie" hadn't been faced such an early demise. Please feel more than free to send an email to selfievaluationpodcast@gmail.com to let either of the two co-hosts know what an incredible job Evan did at mimicking Julia's syntax and intonation. You obviously have...

A new significant other can put a lot of strain on a friendship, though Evan and Beth can say with confidence that they haven't allowed such to affect their ability to podcast together. For Henry and Eliza, however, it's a different story. The jolly ginger giantess suffers from an attention deficit disorder, and the rebranding wunderkind must determine for himself whether or not all women truly have green eyes. This week things are low on sizzle, but the stakes are high, so tune in to see...

Have you been on the lookout for a podcast focused on a 2014 sitcom that veers wildly off into a deep dive on the portrayal and desirability of Asian men in American media? If so, that is pretty cool. You sound like a person with impeccable taste. There is also the chance that this is right up your alley, because co-hosts Evan and Beth are further dissecting an episode of "Selfie" that features the hottest scene to date. Somebody get John Cho and Karen Gillen a couple of honorary Bachelors...

Much like the cops played by Seth Rogen and Bill Hader in "Superbad", Evan and Beth are not here to block, but to guide listeners through yet another episode of ABC's "Selfie". They sadly do not, however, discuss their favourite cookies (that's next week!). Henry and Eliza's friendship starts to heat up to a scorching 350°F (175°C), the perfect temperature to create delectable baked goods and get this co-host to vent his shirt collar. In her search to find him love, will she discover that...

Evan experiences his own special kind of hell this week when he comes to recording having only gotten two hours of sleep. That's the mildest kind of play on words when it comes to this episode's title, and the best a still-sleepy brain could come up with. This episode is a roller coaster in the absolute truest sense of the word, with one co-host wildly stopping and starting, the energy yo-yoing as both do their level best to consider how the fifth episode of "Selfie" affects the trajectory...

This week Beth and Evan learn that you can lead a marketing exec to water, but you can’t make him want to do anything else but ride a horse. That’s a messy play on a common idiom, but it’ll make a lot more sense once you listen to this episode! Henry and Eliza are out of the office, and things are starting to heat up! Or maybe that’s just because Henry is fully wearing jodhpurs and a riding jacket by the pool. The duo get to know more about (and see more of) their boss’s family than they...

If Beth and Evan's original recap of "Selfie"'s fourth episode was but a single deep fried morsel this commentary is an entire 20-piece box of genuine insight. Mentally masticate to your heart's content, listeners, there's more than enough to go around! And for those who listen to this podcast but don't follow the creators on social media, why is that? Is there a good, just reason that you haven't taken the time to become one of their followers on Twitter? It's @selfievalpod, there's still...

If there was ever any question to the superiority among fried chicken shapes, ask yourself this question: Has anyone ever describe advice as a "chicken tender of wisdom"? On second thought, maybe that wasn't the slam dunk argument that it could've been. Speaking of things that ARE slam dunks, Beth and Evan stylishly score two points with their latest recap of ABC's "Selfie", the show your show could look like. (That's a reference that you'll only fully get if you listen now!)