True Lovefraud Stories

“Kathy” was 17, bright, pretty, wealthy — and totally unaware that others might want to take advantage of her. She met “Rick” at church, and he saw a juicy target — a naïve young girl with money. He told her God wanted them to be together. Unfortunately, Kathy believed him.

Donna Andersen wants the world to know that millions of sociopaths live among us and do not have the ability to authentically love. She shared her message at a TEDx event in 2022 and her presentation was well-received. But TED never posted her video on its website, and never explained why. Donna even supplied an annotated script with scientific citations for everything she said. No response. Finally, she re-recorded the talk and posted it on Youtube. If you think her message is important, please share it. More information Annotated script to Donna Andersen's talk on How to protect yourself from sociopaths

Tracy Malone, author of the popular website NarcissistAbuseSupport.com, coaches people who are trying to divorce disordered spouses. One of the most important things people in this situation need to understand, she says, is that the person you married isn’t the person you thought they were. They will lie and make false accusations. So you need to be clear about what you want from the divorce, and make sure all the actions you take align with your goals. If you have children, you need a solid parenting plan, and Tracy has a program to help you. Resources NarcissistAbuseSupport.com ParentingPlans.org

“Janet” had five children with “Anthony.” Although she believed that marriage was for better or worse, the gaslighting, emotional cruelty and financial irresponsibility eventually became unbearable. Then one day the cops were called, she and the kids had a chance to escape.

Dr. Liane Leedom at a Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy conference. Anyone can be targeted by a sociopath at any point in their lives. But Dr. Liane Leedom explains that men and women who experience abuse during mid-life have much to lose and often a more difficult recovery. She then describes skills that can help survivors overcome the experience. Resources Contact: lleedom@bridgeport.edu See Dr. Liane Leedom’s work on Researchgate Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress, presented by Dr. Liane Leedom

“Mark” made false accusations against his wife, “Renee,” that landed her in jail. That was just the opening round —as they divorced, and even after their divorce, he continued to harass her. But Renee stood strong, escaped and turned her ordeal into an opportunity to show compassion to others. Resources Information on California Assembly Bill 2391 protecting domestic violence victims from vexatious litigation: Cunningham bill signs into law, protecting domestic violence victims, in the Paso Robles Press California legislative information on AB-2391

At a high school reunion, “Renee,” a widow, encountered “Mark,” whom she’d once had a crush on. Mark convinced her that God had reunited them, so even though her gut was warning her to be cautious, Renee allowed herself to be caught up in the romance. But as soon as they married, Mark’s behavior became weird — and abusive.

Dr. Dan Jones, associate professor at the University of Nevada Reno, is an expert in the Dark Triad and Dark Tetrad personality traits. These are Machiavellianism, narcissism, psychopathy and sadism. Dr. Dan Jones explains how these callous and manipulative people operate. He also suggests how you may be able to use their own strategies against them, at least temporarily. Resources Dr. Dan Jones website: Dark Triad and Corporate Climate Lab Dr. Dan Jones email: djones2 at unr.edu Dr. Dan Jones TedX talk: How to recognize a master manipulator Biography of Niccolo Machiavelli on Britannica

Carlo Giovanni Malozzi has a history of exploiting women — Lovefraud has already done three episodes about him. When did this behavior pattern start? One woman was actually married to him more than 12 years ago, and in this podcast, she tells her story. She avoided the financial abuse that he inflicted upon his other targets. But what she did endure was worse. More about this story Carlo Giovanni Malozzi: Let’s buy a Corvette! Carlo Giovanni Malozzi: ‘My car broke down’ Carlo Giovanni Malozzi: ‘Let’s move to Texas!’

In our last episode about Carlo Giovanni Malozzi, “My car broke down,” he’d conned a woman in Florida and then left the state. Next, he moved to Arizona, where he joined a church. Judith, a member of the church, met Carlo at a Christian singles event. He quickly charmed her, and then exploited her. She wasn’t his only target. More about this story Carlo Giovanni Malozzi: Let’s buy a Corvette! Carlo Giovanni Malozzi: ‘My car broke down’

Joan Kloth-Zanard, an expert in the psychological abuse of children and founder of PAS-intervention.org, explains why parents need to be cautious about reporting child abuse. If there is no verifiable evidence, state child protection agencies may not believe the allegations, with dire consequences. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com Resources PAS-intervention.org Joan Kloth-Zanard’s webinars on Lovefraud: Breaking through to alienated kids Proving parental alienation in court

Christopher Lum of California was slapped with two domestic violence restraining orders and ordered to give up his guns. For years, he refused, and no officials did anything about it. But his ex-wife, Erin Lum, kept working to protect herself and her sons. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com More about this story Christopher Lum Gofundme page Christopher Lum Los Angeles County Superior Court docket for weapons charges

Christopher Lum of California said he was a Los Angeles Fireman, former military, a rescue diver — and at first, Erin bought it all. He drew her in, asked for her help, convinced her to have his child, and she was trapped. And then, Chris did the unthinkable. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com More about this story Christopher Lum often wore Los Angeles Fire Department clothing.

Dr. Denise McDermott, adult and child psychiatrist. Every moment, every experience, may offer us a gift. Dr. Denise McDermott, an adult and child psychiatrist, says that even though an abusive relationship with a sociopath is horrific, it can also be a great teacher. Once we get to the other side of the experience and alchemize the trauma, we may find a greater sense of awareness and self-love. Resources Denise McDermott, M.D. The Dr. Denise Show podcast

Lesly Plummer of England wants to protect her granddaughter, who is involved with a controlling man. So Lesly is telling her own story — she was married for 35 years to a man who was condescending and cruel. After leaving him, Lesly learned that there was a reason for his neglectful behavior, and perhaps a deeper meaning to her experience.

Dr. Liane Leedom at a Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy conference. Recovery from a damaging involvement with a sociopath is possible. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, says skills of Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT), such as mindfulness, can help. Your goal is to lower your level of arousal due to stress, and she offers strategies that you can use right away. Subscribe to True Lovefraud Stories. Resources lleedom@bridgeport.edu See Dr. Liane Leedom’s work on Researchgate Dialectical Behavior Therapy Paired Muscle Relaxation on Youtube Paced breathing exercise on Youtube Dr. Marsha Linehan: Why learn DBT skills? Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach, Ph.D.

Dr. Liane Leedom at a Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy conference. Our ability to form relationships with each other is rooted deep in biological foundations. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains four behavioral systems, involving both biology and psychology, that are crucial for our relationships: The attachment or affiliation system, the caregiving system, the dominance system and the sexual system. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com. Resources lleedom@bridgeport.edu See Dr. Liane Leedom’s work on Researchgate.

Dr. Liane Leedom at a Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy conference. Why does the silent treatment hurt so much? Why does the end of a relationship feel like withdrawal? What is cognitive dissonance? Why do targets of sociopaths lose the ability to think? In part 1 of this interview, Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains the effects of extreme relationship stress. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com. Resources lleedom@bridgeport.edu See Dr. Liane Leedom’s work on Researchgate. PsychCentral: How does stress affect the brain?

The romantic relationship “Jessica” had with “Luke” left her feeling confused and abused. As a result, she turned to substances and experienced suicidal ideation. Then Jessica spoke with “Susanna,” who was also involved with Luke — and who endured similar treatment from him. A weight was lifted — Jessica wasn't crazy and the relationship issues were not her fault. Luke was the problem. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com

All her life, “Susanna’s” greatest interests were psychological thrillers and cults. When she got away from her relationship, she realized that with Luke, she’d been living in one. Susanna wondered if his other women felt the same way, and reached out to his previous girlfriend, Jessica. Yes, their experiences were painfully similar, which helped them both in their recovery. Subscribe at lovefraud.supercast.com Resources For information about the Psychopathy Checklist Revised, see Range of sociopathic behavior: From sleazy to serial killer, on Lovefraud.com.