Coming Out Pod

Lauren couldn't put the podcast on hiatus without doing one of her favorite kinds of episodes: namely, a REDUX! When producer and writer Jenn Lee (formerly Jenn Lee Smith) was first on the pod in July of 2022, she was celebrating the publication of a book she had co-edited called "I Spoke to You with Silence: Essays from Queer Mormons of Marginalized Genders." Jenn herself was raised in the Mormon religion, and despite having come out in 2008, she had chosen to remain in a monogamous marriage with her husband of twenty-one years, with whom she shares three children. Suffice to say that a lot has changed for Jenn since the summer of 2022. She explains how the book tour for "I Spoke to You with Silence" kicked off a chain of events, and shares how her love for her children has only deepened now that she is finally living as her whole self ("I have been able to love them so much more since feeling right in my own body and skin"). Plus, Jenn describes her experiences on the dating apps as a "little post-Mormon gayby," and Lauren asks Jenn a question that she's been mulling over ever since the day they first met... Connect with Jenn on Facebook at facebook.com/jennlee.smith2, and follow her on Instagram at @bewilderfilm. Also, check out her upcoming documentary at homecourtfilm.com and on Insta at @homecourtfilm!

Pop-punk/alt-rock artist Chloe Star is so obviously comfortable in her own skin that you would never know she struggled fiercely with her sexuality throughout her adolescence. Chloe's mother is Native American, and so Chloe grew up going back and forth between the radically different worlds of Los Angeles and her family's reservation. Some of Chloe's stories from this time are deeply relatable (such as Googling "am i gay quiz" and secretly having a huge crush on Kristen Stewart while all of her friends were Team Edward/Team Jacob), but she was also grappling with more than her share of darkness. This culminated in Chloe being sent to an incredibly intense three-month wilderness treatment program at the age of sixteen; her mother's last-ditch attempt to free Chloe from addiction. Chloe's upcoming single, "Wasted Youth," is all about that experience, which she finally feels a sense of closure on a full decade later. We have a funny, vulnerable conversation about first loves, coming out at diners, songs about exes, and much more! As of this Friday, March 22nd, you can stream "Wasted Youth" everywhere! Also follow Chloe on Instagram and TikTok at @frenchtoastkiller, and watch the videos for "Fool," "Found My Peace," and "Happy Place" on Chloe's YouTube channel, youtube.com/@frenchtoastkiller!

Lauren gives a transparent, hilarious, and WAY the f@#k too long explanation of why she is putting the podcast on hiatus at the end of March! Info and resources mentioned: - The pod's website is comingoutpod.com. That's where you'll find a link to search episodes by keyword, as well as multiple resources on the "Resources" page (including the virtual queer community Google doc and "Lauren’s List of Lighthearted LGBTQ+ Stuff with Positive Queer Portrayals!" media list). - Other queer, female-helmed podcasts that Lauren recommends include Bad Queers, Two Dykes And A Mic, and Lez Hang Out. - Last but not least, the pod's AMAZING engineer/editor Averie Severs can be found on Instagram at @averie_severs! And stay tuned for two more new episodes on March 20th and 27th...

Author and librettist Leah Lax ("Not From Here: The Song of America") shares a series of incredible stories in a truly one-of-a-kind episode of the podcast! Leah grew up as a Jewish genderqueer lesbian in Northern Texas, and struggled with the fact that she didn't understand how to "be a woman" in the intuitive way that all of her (straight) friends seemed to. So when she was approached by members of the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community at the age of sixteen, Leah felt "like somebody handed me a bulleted list. And all I had to do was follow it, and...I wasn't marginal anymore at all. I was completely accepted." Leah was matched with a man at eighteen; she had seven children in a ten-year period and spent thirty years with the Hasidim. Leah shares what ultimately made her leave the only community she had ever known, and explains the unlikely path that led to her writing down the life stories of over a hundred American immigrants for a new opera! It's a truly beautiful episode, and a reminder of why, to quote Leah, "we all need to be dangerous." "Not From Here: The Song of America" comes out on March 28th! To find out all about it (as well as Leah's memoir "Uncovered: How I Left Hasidic Life and Finally Came Home"), go to leahlaxauthor.com. And don't forget to preorder on Amazon! You can also follow Leah on Instagram at @LeahLax120, and on Facebook at @LeahLaxAuthor. Lastly, check out therefugemusic.com to hear snippets from Leah's opera!

Arohi Kumar has been a HERstories participant for the past several years, and in that time, Lauren has seen her confidence and happiness grow exponentially! Arohi (whose identifiers include transfemme, poly, and "bi enough") is a child of Indian immigrants, and the prevalence of male/female separation when she was growing up led to her feeling ostracized on both ends. When it came to attraction, Arohi knew she was attracted to girls, but describes the experience as wanting to be "attracted to girls in the way lesbians are attracted to girls, which is like a very specific, different thing." We debate gender roles vs. gender, and muse on why so many people (including Arohi!) came to terms with their queerness during lockdown. Plus, we talk anxiety, dissociative identity disorder, and OCD...but in a fun, quirky way, like the fun, quirky girls we are! (TW: discussion of suicidal ideation in childhood, but nothing descriptive) Speaking of fun and quirky, Arohi made a fun, quirky board game! It's called Grad Rush, and you can check it out at grad-rush.com.

Lauren has a genuinely hilarious conversation with comedian and podcaster Carmen Lagala, who spills all the details of her recent coming out story! Carmen grew up in Vermont, which is arguably one of the very best states to be a queer woman (hiking; leftists; liberal arts colleges; you get it). Carmen was so sure that she *wasn't* queer, however, that when a lesbian rumor spread during her freshman year of high school, she actually came out to her family as straight. Carmen, who now identifies as pansexual, describes having "teenage boy levels" of horniness as an adolescent, while simultaneously carrying a deep shame about sex in general, and masturbation in particular. She discusses how being in back-to-back relationships with men led to her feeling like her sexual attraction to women somehow didn't count, and how coming out on stage actually helped her get past that ("it legitimized it to me as soon as people laughed at what I was saying"). Also, Carmen shares her high school obsession with G.I. Jane, and Lauren tells a story about Michelle Rodriguez that she probably shouldn't! Follow Carmen on Instagram at @carmstagrams and on Twitter at @CarmenLagala, and subscribe to her YouTube channel at youtube.com/@carmenlagalacomedy! Also check out her comedy OnlyFans, and listen to In Cahoots w/ Corey & Carmen wherever you get your podcasts!

When 23-year-old grad student Maddy Kling asked if she could interview Lauren for her project on coming out stories, Lauren jumped at the chance to sit on the other side of the mic! But not only that; the work Maddy was doing sounded so fascinating that Lauren asked if she would come on the podcast to discuss it! Maddy is getting her master's in Dance/Movement Therapy, and her project explores how DMT can help the queer community "by allowing them to tell their coming out stories through dance and movement." Maddy identifies as both bisexual and demisexual, and regarding her own journey, she says that "the most comfortable space I felt being out was dance." Maddy describes the relief she experienced when she finally discovered the demisexual label, and also shares how she lived the bi dream of coming out in a Vans store! Now THAT'S how you embrace a stereotype! Learn more about Dance/Movement Therapy at adta.memberclicks.net/what-is-dancemovement-therapy.

It's Valentine's Day, and the pod is serving up a hot 'n spicy episode with educatrix, writer, and former AVN-nominated director, Tina Horn! Regarding her sexuality, Tina says "as soon as I knew that I had a crush on Fox Mulder, I knew I had a crush on Dana Scully." Unfortunately, she was growing up in a small, homophobic town in Northern California, and so the majority of her early sexual partners were restricted to cis men. Tina categorizes those early experiences as "all right," but even as an adolescent, she was already aware of a fundamental truth: "I knew that I really liked sex, and I wanted to do it all the time, and I wanted more variety and, like, different kinds of sex." Tina discusses becoming a sex worker at a time when the Bay Area had a thriving queer and feminist porn scene, and explains why it is so important for her to be out as such, even though her time in the sex industry has "waxed and waned over the years." We also talk about Tina's comic series, "Deprog" (which features a hardboiled leatherdyke detective and a genderqueer femme fatale!), and her upcoming book of fetish cultural criticism, "Why Are People Into That?" based on her long-running podcast of the same name. All this, plus Lauren gives a special Queer Root Shout-Out (TM) to the most sapphic music video of ALL TIME! Go to tinahorn.net to find out where you can pre-order both "Deprog" and "Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink" (and while you're there, sign up for Tina's newsletter as well!). Also follow Tina on Twitter and Instagram at @tinahornsass, and check out her podcast "Why Are People Into That?!" on all the usual platforms!

LGBTQ-affirming therapist Chris Tompkins clearly remembers knowing by the age of six that he was gay. So when he was told that his six-year-old nephew was "not old enough" to understand that he had a gay uncle, it started Chris down a path that ultimately led to him a writing a book titled "Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground." Chris describes how his religious upbringing made him genuinely believe that if he put all his energy into becoming "the best Christian," he could eventually make himself straight (spoiler alert: he couldn't). A natural storyteller, Chris details several close calls he had during his study abroad in Italy ("I feel like I was trying to come out"), and shares the beautiful story of how he eventually met his first boyfriend through a series of random-but-fateful events. Plus, Chris's record-breaking tour where he came out to a whopping seven family members during a single visit home! Follow Chris on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at @aroadtriptolove, and check out his website, aroadtriptolove.com, for info on his book, his work, and much more!

The pod welcomes its first ever Singaporean guest, Tania De Rozario, whose memoir "Dinner on Monster Island" comes out next week! At the time that Tania was growing up in Singapore, positive representations of queer people were literally illegal on public television. Since this was long before streaming platforms and the prevalence of the internet, this meant that all of Tania's childhood teachings about "homosexuality" came from her Evangelical-convert mother. Things culminated in Tania being subjected to a gay exorcism (or as it was called at the time, a "casting out") when she was just twelve years old. Tania, who now lives in Vancouver, shares this and other stories from her past with a good deal of perspective, and an admirable amount of levity. Plus, we discuss how the horror genre is intrinsically linked with queerness, which is a real bummer if you hypothetically can't watch scary movies because they give you nightmares HYPOTHETICALLY. Follow Tania on Instagram at @_tania.de.rozario_ (make note of all the underscores and periods!) and at @TaniaDeRozario on Twitter. "Dinner on Monster Island" comes out February 6th; find out where to pre-order/purchase it at linktr.ee/TaniaDeRozario, but also check your local bookstores!

Lauren gets into it with comedian Andie Main, who just released her aptly titled comedy album, "Rocky Mountain Bi!" Andie grew up in Portland's artsy district, and identifies as "classic '90s bi." She reveals the various cartoon characters who helped her realize her sexuality, discusses her adolescent passions ("I was a horse girl, and then I was a boob girl"), and details the path that led her to who she is today ("a divorced, 43-year-old bisexual woman who had dreams of Alanis Morissette as an early child"). Andie also describes the challenges of dating couples, and - brace yourself - because we talk a little bit of smack about astrology SORRY!!! Also, a word of warning to the person who left the podcast a three-star review on iTunes titled "Would love this if it weren't for the foul language": you should probably skip this episode. Follow Andie on Instagram at @andiemain, and listen to "Rocky Mountain Bi" (as well as Andie's first album, "Magpie") on all streaming platforms. Also, check out Andie's new podcast, "Recovering with Andie Main," wherever you get your pods!

Multidisciplinary author and artist Julie Delporte (they/she) was born in a village in the French countryside, and describes herself as "someone who is late in life." One of the ways in which this manifested was that Julie did not realize she was a lesbian until the age of thirty-five, which, as she says, "is not so old, but it felt so old." In her newly released graphic novel, "Portrait of a Body," Julie traces the arc of her coming out story through both text and illustrations, and the result is beautiful and moving. Julie speaks candidly about the conflict she felt between her need to explore her sexuality and her fear of potentially hurting someone in the process, and we have a vulnerable conversation about why we sometimes feel like we're "not sexual enough" as lesbians. Also, Julie tells an incredibly relatable story about how sometimes the slightest glimpse of a friend's shoulder can clarify everything... Follow Julie on Instagram at @juliedelporte_, and buy her GORGEOUS book "Portrait of a Body" at https://drawnandquarterly.com/books/portrait-of-a-body/, or wherever gorgeous books are sold!

Writer and filmmaker Sara Mossman grew up in Baltimore in the midst of a family dynamic that consisted of "a lot of dysfunction, a lot of chaos, a lot of people in the mix" (Sara is one of SIX children!). All of this led to her becoming emancipated from her family just before she turned fourteen...riiiiiight on the heels of also figuring out that she was gay. Suffice to say that Sara did not have an easy adolescence, but the saving grace came when she was accepted into a predominantly-female, VERY queer arts school for her high school years! Sara shares how generational trauma has shaped her journey, but hasn't prevented her from having a great deal of empathy for her mother (whose own mother was a child bride from the Philippines). Also, the wild tale of how Sara was assisted in her hardest coming out by none other than Mister Rogers! Talk about "It's a beautiful day in the GAYborhood!!!" (Sorry; I had to.) Check out Sara's website (saramossman.com) and YouTube channel (youtube.com/c/underaneonsky), and follow her on Twitter at @SMossman. You can also purchase her novel, "The Tree of Life," at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BGX5HGPL, and check out her BFF's charity that she mentioned at unmatchedathlete.org!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! The pod is kicking off 2024 in a big way with its first ever furry-identified guest! Comedian Adario Mercadante has been doing standup since the age of eighteen, and is truly one of the sweetest men alive. Like many '90s kids, Adario first discovered furry content on sites like LimeWire and Kazaa, and his fascination/titillation led him to further resources like Furcadia and Yiffstar. Adario not only details his full journey from pre-puberty to adulthood, but also answers several FAQs, such as "Is being a furry just a sexual kink, or is there more to it?" Plus, Adario discusses his decision to come out to the *entire world* via his appearance on ABC's The Prank Panel, and shares the incredibly moving story of how doing so literally changed his life. Forget everything you think you know about furries, and learn about the community from one of its proudest (and, since his appearance on TV, most prominent) members! First and foremost, watch Adario's episode of The Prank Panel for free at https://abc.com/shows/the-prank-panel/episode-guide/season-01/09-bride-swap-furry-double-cross (his segment starts just before the twenty-five minute mark)! Then give him a follow on TikTok at @adariomercadante, on Instagram at @adario1, and on Twitter at @YammoYeen. Lastly, if you want to check out the furry YouTuber who Adario shouted out, go to https://www.youtube.com/@BetaEtaDelota. Awoo!

It's POD SWAP day! Leigh and Ellie of Lez Hang Out thought Coming Out Pod's listeners might especially enjoy this episode of theirs from February 2023. Lez Hang Out Episode 613: Missed Queer-nections with Elle Mills Your eyes meet across the aisle in Trader Joe’s. Then, your fingers brush as you reach for the same container of oat milk. The moment passes, but you can’t help wondering, could she have been the one? This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with writer and director Elle Mills (@elle.mills) to talk about her journey from longtime Youtube creator to filmmaker with her directorial debut of short film Reply available to rent now on CreatorPlus.

Lauren and Nicole are reunited for the pod's *FIFTH* ANNUAL LISTENER MAILBAG!!! In this double-stuffed episode, we're taking on allllll of your burning questions with our usual #workwife candor! Hear our thoughts on if gaydar is real! Listen as we debate whether or not straight people should have to come out! Delight in our very different (BUT EQUALLY VALID) answers to "what's on your queer bucket list?" Nicole also gives her take on several poly-specific questions, including what she's learned from being the hinge partner in a V relationship! It's a warm, funny, and insightful way to say goodbye to 2023. Happy holidays, y'all, and thanks so much for listening this past year! Follow Nicole at @nicolepacent on Instagram, and be sure to check out her upcoming episode of The Poly (Pod)Cast when it drops! You can find the info for Zig Zag Pride (and all of the L.A. LGBT Center's other community groups) at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/. Also mentioned as a resource in this episode was the Cuties mailing list, which you can subscribe to at hicuties.com. Last but not least, there's no time like the present to give the *podcast* a present by leaving a 5-star rating and/or a li'l review on either iTunes or Spotify!

If you listened to last week's special episode about A Holiday I Do and found yourself thinking "gee, this is great, but I sure wish I knew Lindsay's coming out story..." then you're in luck, because this week Lindsay Hicks is BACK, and she is TELLING ALL! Lindsay (who uses bi and pan interchangeably) moved around a lot as a kid, so she was far less focused on things like crushes and dating than she was on simply keeping herself safe from bullying. It wasn't until she got to college and met her first ever lesbian that she started to sense that something was "different." Lindsay describes the surprisingly emotional experience of coming out to "some, like random dude...after four Bud Lights," and discusses the tumultuous intensity of her first queer relationship (relatable!). She also talks about meeting her parents with compassion despite their initial negative reaction to her sexuality, and shares the very sweet experience she had watching the original L Word ("I was like, oh my God - they're so safe! They're so safe, and they're so comfortable to be who they are!"). All this, plus a dog named Bagel! Follow Lindsay and Bagel on Instagram at @linzhicks and @candicebergenbagel respectively. Also, watch Lindsay in A Holiday I Do and The List on Tello (tellofilms.com), and check out Suicide Kale on Amazon!

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, it's officially holiday movie season, and if you follow Lauren on Twitter, then you know that she is absolutely *obsessed* with made-for-TV Christmas movies. As such, she jumped at the chance to talk to former guest Rivkah Reyes (Episode 136) and upcoming guest Lindsay Hicks, who are the two leads of Tello Films' latest QUEER LADY CHRISTMAS MOVIE! In this special episode, Lindsay and Rivkah dish on what it was like filming A Holiday I Do in the coldest place on earth (aka Michigan in January), and discuss the reactions they've been getting from viewers (Rivkah's future mother-in-law is a huge fan!). They describe the process of shooting their climactic, movie-ending kiss in a 4° barn, and Lindsay reveals how she produced a copious amount of tears for her emotional tour de force with an equine scene partner ("I just trusted the horse"). Plus, Rivkah gushes about her recent real-life enGAYgement! It's the perfect episode to usher in the happiest season; pun *fully* intended. Check out A Holiday I Do and all of Tello's other queer and lesbian content by subscribing to their platform at tellofilms.com, or buy/rent A Holiday I Do directly at https://www.tellofilms.com/products/a-holiday-i-do.You can also follow Rivkah on Instagram and TikTok at @rivkah.reyes and on Twitter at @rivkahreyes, and don't forget to follow their full moon/new moon party HOWL on Insta at @howl.party.la! Lindsay can be found on Instagram at @linzhicks, and tune in next week to hear her coming out story!

Lauren has an eye-opening conversation with the VELVET-VOICED Andrew McCaskill, a LinkedIn Career Expert and 2023 brand ambassador for Nike's #BeTrue campaign! When LinkedIn conducted a study of LGBTQ+ professionals for Pride Month of last year, they were surprised to learn that more than half of the respondents polled said they hide their identity in the workplace. Andrew kicks off our in-depth discussion about coming out at work with his own personal story, which begins in a rural Mississippi town that literally had more cows than people. His first big job out of college was in the financial industry, and not only was he not out to his colleagues; he found himself watching hours of SportsCenter every night before he saw clients, "because everybody wants to talk to the 6'3" Black guy about sports." We run the gamut of what it means to be queer in the workplace, including the importance of knowing your "why" if you're planning on coming out, how to find resources if you're transitioning, and the ironic downside of passing privilege. It's an invaluable conversation with somebody who's been on both sides of the out-at-work experience! Follow Andrew on Twitter at @DrewMcCaskill and find him on LinkedIn at "Andrew McCaskill," where you can also subscribe to his newsletter, The Black Guy In Marketing!

Poet and professor Erin Hoover self-identifies as "the parent of a donor-conceived child," and if you're wondering how she came to use that specific terminology, the thread of its evolution runs all the way through her recently-released collection, "No Spare People." Erin is currently based in Tennessee, and has lived in a number of places we might not think of as particularly "queer-friendly." Add to that the fact that she's chosen to parent on her own, and...let's just say she encounters a lot of personal questions. Erin shares how being queer is "a mode of existence...that has influenced every part of my life," and reads several poems from "No Spare People" as the events that inspired them come up in her story. Plus: '90s Dyke Drama (TM) at Sarah Lawrence! (TW: discussion of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive) The best way to find all things Erin is to go to her Linktree at linktr.ee/erinhoover. From there, you can access her website for more of her poetry and a list of upcoming events, find out where to purchase "No Spare People," and read the Daily Beast article we discussed in this episode! You can also follow Erin on Twitter and Bluesky at @erinhoover, and on Instagram at @theerinhoover.