The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley

In this episode, Ben addresses the tension between ambition and burnout for thoughtful leaders. He explains why ambition matters and why sustainable habits are essential for long-term success. Drawing on his own routines, he covers healthy habits such as meditation, exercise, sleep, and nutrition, as well as the concept of restorative niches from Brian Little's work. Ben also challenges rigid ideas of work-life balance, suggesting flexibility and long-term thinking instead. Resources mentioned in this episode: Restorative niches (Brian Little)Work with Ben: Coaching.

Ben explores the idea that resistance is often a sign you should lean in rather than avoid. He explains how the brain's threat response drives avoidance and how social threats can feel as real as physical ones. Using a personal story about working with a difficult colleague, Ben shows how pushing through discomfort can build capability, even if the outcome isn't perfect. He also discusses research on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex and how doing hard things strengthens your ability to do more hard things in the future. Resources mentioned in this episode: SCARF model (David Rock) Anterior mid-cingulate cortex researchWork with Ben: Coaching.

In this episode, Ben reflects on four of the most important things he did for his career and what thoughtful leaders can learn from them. He explains how mindfulness helped him manage frustration and build emotional regulation over time, why joining Toastmasters reduced his fear of public speaking, and how listening to informal mentors shaped key career decisions. Ben also shares how studying for an MBA while working full time built discipline, healthy habits, and ultimately created the space to start Thoughtful Leader. The episode encourages leaders to work on themselves so they are better equipped to handle whatever challenges arise. Resources mentioned in this episode: Headspace appWaking Up app – Sam HarrisToastmasters InternationalWork with Ben: Coaching.

In this episode, Ben breaks down the concept of ghostworking (which is really modern-day presenteeism) and explains why it's usually a commitment issue rather than laziness. He draws on motivation theory, including hygiene factors and intrinsic motivation, and shares practical ways to rebuild commitment through connection, purpose, responsibility, and fairness. The focus of this episode is on addressing root causes rather than defaulting to control or punishment. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben explores whether personal values can be changed and what to do when they seem to hold you back. He explains that while values are relatively stable, we can adapt our behaviour regardless of what our values are. Through examples of conflicting values like ease versus growth, he shows how leaders can consciously choose which values to prioritise in different situations. This episode offers reflection questions to help identify your own values and use them more intentionally. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values courseThoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

This episode tackles a common leadership dilemma: how long to wait before enforcing consequences for poor performance or behaviour. Ben walks through a practical decision-making process, starting with curiosity and feedback, then moving to support, clarity, and finally consequences if behaviour doesn't change. He discusses the importance of stakeholder alignment, realistic follow-through, and why avoiding consequences can undermine trust and motivation across the team. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben explores how deeply held beliefs shape behaviour and can quietly limit leadership confidence. Using personal stories about fitness, public speaking, and career choices, he illustrates how untested assumptions can become self-imposed barriers. Ben explains the difference between fixed and growth mindsets, the role of self-talk, and how beliefs often become baked into identity. He encourages leaders to notice when they say "I can't do that" and get curious about whether those beliefs are actually true. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values course.Thoughtful Leader Coaching

In this short and sweet episode, Ben farewells 2025, says Thank You and talks a little bit about how principles (rather than goals) can help you set intentions about how you want 2026 to go. Thanks for listening in 2025, and Ben will be back around mid-January 2026.

Supporting your people doesn't have to be complicated. In this episode, Ben shares four key reminders leaders often forget. He explains why these fundamentals matter more than dramatic leadership techniques and how thoughtful leaders can use them to build trust and stability. Ben draws from coaching conversations and real workplace examples to help you support your team with confidence. Resources mentioned in this episode: How to Lead Effectively as a People Pleaser Make the Most of Motivation Models in Your Team Too Busy at Work? Try These Five Things Gallup StrengthsFinder assessmentPRINT Assessment16Personalities.comEpisode 130: One-on-one MeetingsThoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1:1

In this episode, Ben introduces a straightforward model to help leaders give challenging feedback in a way that hopefully helps the receiver get on board with it. He explains each of the parts of the model and shares practical examples to show how the model works in real conversations. Ben also talks about common mistakes thoughtful leaders make, like softening the message too much or delaying feedback out of discomfort. The episode links closely to The Useful Feedback Journal, which helps leaders process feedback they receive and builds their confidence in asking for feedback. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Feedback Journal - get your copy today.Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1:1.

Many new leaders struggle when moving from individual contributor to leadership. In this episode, Ben breaks down why the transition feels so difficult, especially for thoughtful, high-performing people. He covers key mindset shifts including letting go of control, redefining success, prioritising relationships over tasks, and stepping into visibility even when it feels uncomfortable. Ben also shares stories from coaching clients who found leadership hard because they still identified as "doers", not leaders. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1:1.

In this episode, Ben explores whether it's possible to stay authentic while also adapting your leadership style. Drawing on coaching conversations and personality models like DISC and OCEAN, he explains why adaptability doesn't mean "changing who you are". Instead, adjusting your behaviour to meet the needs of different situations is both necessary and can still be genuine. Ben shares real examples from his facilitation and project management work, showing how leaders can honour their natural traits while flexing their approach when required. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader CoachingKerri Price - facilitation training.

In this episode, Ben talks about the importance of balance in leadership: knowing when to step in and when to step back. He discusses common traps, like micromanaging or being overly hands-off, and helps leaders identify their "sweet spot" where they can provide enough guidance without stifling independence. Ben offers practical reflection questions and strategies to help you stay balanced, effective, and confident as a thoughtful leader. Resources: Work with Ben: Thoughtful Leader Coaching

In this episode, Ben introduces The Useful Feedback Journal, a digital tool designed to help leaders process, accept, or reject feedback thoughtfully. Drawing from his own painful experience receiving harsh feedback after a workshop, Ben explains how the journal guides you through four stages – Retreat, Reflect, Extract, and Act – to turn feedback into growth rather than frustration. He also shares success stories from pilot users and outlines how journaling can help you track patterns and improve your response to feedback over time. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Feedback JournalThoughtful Leader Coaching

In this episode, Ben explores a common leadership dilemma: how open should you really be with your team? While transparency builds trust, oversharing can create confusion or discomfort. Ben offers practical advice for finding the right balance between honesty and professionalism. He discusses when to share challenges and when to protect your team from unnecessary stress, helping thoughtful leaders navigate openness with self-awareness and confidence. Resources: https://brenebrown.com/Coaching for thoughtful leaders.

In this episode, Ben explains how knowing your personal values helps you lead with confidence. He shares how values act as a foundation, keeping you steady when challenges arise. Ben reflects on his own experiences and discusses how understanding your values can help you make decisions, handle pressure, and stop second-guessing yourself. He also introduces his small-group Values Discovery Sessions, designed to help leaders uncover their core values and use them to lead more authentically. Spaces are limited to 8 people, so book your spot now using this link: >>> Click here to book your place in an upcoming Values Discovery Session.

For the 300th episode, Ben tackles one of the most common challenges thoughtful leaders face: dealing with strong personalities at work. These colleagues may be direct, dominant, or results-focused - all traits that can feel intimidating or frustrating. Ben shares five practical tips, from avoiding direct confrontation to preparing well for interactions, so thoughtful leaders can hold their ground without trying to overcompensate or act like someone else. He reminds us that strong personalities aren’t bad, just different, and that with the right strategies, you can work alongside them effectively while staying true to your own leadership style. Resources mentioned in this episode: Article: Five Tips for Quiet LeadersThoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.

AI tools like ChatGPT are everywhere, but what does that mean for thoughtful leaders? In this episode, Ben shares personal examples of using AI for marketing, podcasting, and even gardening - but he also issues a word of caution. Over-reliance on AI risks “deskilling” teams by removing valuable opportunities for learning and mentoring. Drawing on examples from law and medicine, he shows how bypassing junior staff development can have long-term consequences. Leaders can embrace AI, but must balance efficiency with the need to grow capable, confident teams. Resources mentioned in this episode: Book: The Skill Code by Matt BeaneThoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.

Adapting your leadership style is essential but if you’re not careful, it can feel exhausting. In this episode, Ben explains how to shift your style to suit different situations - whether it’s being more direct in a crisis or more outgoing when networking, while keeping it sustainable. He draws on personality psychology research, including insights from Brian Little’s work on “personal projects,” to help leaders recognise when it’s worth stretching themselves and when to restore their energy. The goal: flexible, people-focused leadership that won’t compromise your wellbeing. Resources mentioned in this episode: Brian Little – Blog and information on Personal ProjectsBrian Little – TED Talk - "who are you really?" Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values – online courseThoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.

In this episode, Ben explores why stability is such a powerful leadership trait. Drawing from his coaching and training experiences, he highlights how inconsistency erodes trust and creates uncertainty in teams. Ben shares his own routines, such as exercise, mindfulness, morning reading, and small rituals that help him maintain calm, dependable leadership, even under stress. He emphasises that your team needs to rely on you regardless of circumstances, and building stability through consistent habits is one of the best ways to lead with confidence. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching: Work with Ben 1 on 1.The Useful Thinking Journal