Enneagram and Marriage

In this final episode of the attachment series, Christa sits down with another Enneagram expert, Jeff Cook, Enneagram Type 1, philosopher, former pastor, and co-host of the popular Around the Circle Enneagram podcast, as we talk about attachment and how couples can process conflict. We also talk about his new book Around the Circle: An Enneagram Book (June 2025). Unlike most Enneagram books that profile types individually, Jeff's book explores nine essential questions everyone faces (like "How do I solve my problems?") and answers them for all nine types, creating a richer, more nuanced understanding. Jeff brings a Christian philosophical lens to the Enneagram, reminding us of the fact that relationships are all we bring with us into eternity, so it's important to grow here as an individual, and we try to answer what it means to be our healthiest selves. They discuss the power of naming our motives, why the Enneagram isn't about "putting people in boxes," the Harmonic groups (Positive Outlook: 2, 7, 9 who reframe; Competency: 1, 3, 5 who problem-solve; Reactive: 4, 6, 8 who intensify emotions). Whether you're new to the Enneagram or a seasoned student, this conversation will deepen your understanding and help you see yourself and your spouse more clearly. Watch on YouTube! Important Show Notes from the Allender Center's Marriage Class Marriage class coming up! Get live teaching from The Allender Center 's prolific teachers Dan and Becky Allender across three dates, starting tomorrow (or watch over Zoom) and use the code enneagram30 to get $30 off the course here! Growing in Marriage: A Guided Journey with Dan & Becky Allender. Jeff's Exciting Around the Circle Materials! Get Jeff's book here! https://www.amazon.com/Around-Circle-Enneagram-Jeff-Cook/dp/B0FD46YT16 Listen to the Around the Circle pod here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/around-the-circle-an-enneagram-channel/id1466446583 Visit the entire Around the Circle crew on their website as well! www.AroundtheCircle.org Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Christa sits down with Alli Patterson, type 8 (8-1 pairing), teaching Pastor at Crossroads Church, author of Blueprint for Belonging and How to Stay Standing, and founder of the Ignite Conference to talk about the five types of relationships we all need to thrive: your core, circle, comrades, community, and crowd. Alli, who holds a seminary degree from Dallas Theological Seminary and just also released Spirit-Led Bible Study in February 2026 (this month!), breaks down how loneliness isn't about the quantity of relationships but the quality and variety of connection. Join us as we discuss how understanding these five relationship types can transform your marriage, friendships, and sense of belonging, and why so many of us are drowning in loneliness despite having more ways to connect than ever before. Christa also shares exciting updates and contests. Plus, we're giving away 5 copies of Alli's book Blueprint for Belonging. Follow Alli on social media Instagram account below (or on another social) and let us know at melody@enneagramandmarriage.com that you did for a chance to win one of them! This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt lonely in a crowded room or wondered if their relationships are truly satisfying their soul. Alli reminds us: your relationships are the key to a thriving life and healthy attachment, don't settle for lonely. Watch on YouTube! Follow Alli Patterson on Instagram and enter the contest for a copy of her book, Blueprint for Belonging, here! https://www.instagram.com/theallipatterson/ Find Alli's books, The Spirit Led Bible Study and Blueprint for Belonging here on her website! https://www.allipatterson.com/ Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Christa continues the February series on Attachment Styles Meets Enneagram by walking through all nine types and exploring two critical questions: How do you attach well to yourself, and how do you attach well to your partner? She opens by acknowledging the need for God and self-regulation (and five fun Valentine's Dates!), and then we breaks down each type's unique attachment challenges and growth narratives together. Christa makes it clear that secure attachment starts internally, but you cannot give your partner what you haven't given yourself. Listen now! ❤️ We also give a final call for your chance to join the E + M Coaching Certification & Masterclass Course starting February 12th (last day for $250 off with code COACH). This episode is practical, compassionate, and grounded in the truth that real intimacy requires showing up fully, with God, with yourself, and with your spouse as we celebrate our love and marriage this month of love ❤️. Watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this conversation, Christa sits down with Kendall Mariah, author of the brand-new book This Little Fire of Mine: How Flickers of Doubt Can Spark a Bolder, Brighter Faith, to explore what happens when you stop performing faith and start living it authentically, especially in marriage. Kendall Mariah, 3, an adoptive mom, Army wife, and founder of Unapologetic Ministry, invites us to embrace holy discomfort, lean into doubt, and ask the hard questions we've been told to avoid. In this episode, they discuss how doubt can lead to discernment, why good friction is healthy in relationships, how to navigate different faith journeys with your spouse, and what it means to pursue an integrated life where your words and actions reflect the full truth of Scripture, not just on Sundays, but in your actual day-to-day marriage. Kendall says her book is about finding "a deeper, truer version of your soul," and Christa believes that when you find that truer version of yourself, you also find a truer version of your marriage. If you've ever felt the disconnect between your beliefs and your lived experiences, or if you're navigating faith questions alongside your spouse, this conversation will give you permission to embrace the journey and discover a bolder, brighter faith together as we work on deepening attachment all month long here on the pod! Watch on YouTube! Get your copy of Kendall's brand new book here! https://www.amazon.com/This-Little-Fire-Mine-Flickers/dp/1400251672 Learn about Kendall here on her website! https://kendallmariah.com/ Get connected with Kendall on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendallmariah/ Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this mini but important episode, Christa tackles the most common, and most painful, dynamic in marriage: the anxious-avoidant pairing. If you've ever felt like you're constantly chasing your spouse for connection while they pull away, or if you feel overwhelmed by a partner who won't give you breathing room, this episode will help you understand why these attachment styles are magnetically drawn to each other and how the pursue-withdraw cycle keeps you stuck. In this intro episode, Christa gives practical steps each partner needs to take to break the cycle and move toward earned secure attachment. The key insight: Your Enneagram type is the engine, your attachment style is the steering, understanding both is where real change begins. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between, this episode gives you language for what's happening and hope that change is possible. Listen right here or watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the real reason marriages fail isn't a lack of connection but years of staying silent and avoiding conflict? Licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr joins us in an attachment-based discussion to discuss her new book The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love (releases February 3, 2026). As a Type 7, Colette shares how even optimistic, future-focused types can fall into avoidant patterns, sidestepping day-to-day disputes and brushing problems under the rug to "keep the peace." We explore how silence (as well as to damaging reactivity) often lead to emotional disconnection, self-abandonment, and essentially "quiet quitting" your marriage. Drawing from attachment science and evidence-based therapies, Colette gives us tools to approach our spouse with openness, honesty, and vulnerability. Whether you're the one staying silent or living with someone who won't speak up, this conversation will show you why a good relationship is worth fighting for—and how to start having the hard conversations that create secure, lasting love. Find The Cost of Quiet wherever books are sold starting February 3rd. Watch on YouTube! Get Colette's book here! https://a.co/d/5HMlsJh Get on her email list here! https://www.colettejanefehr.com/ Visit Colette here on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/colettejanefehr/ Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we wrap up the conversation on instincts, Christa brings you a powerful episode exploring how our three instincts—self-preservation, sexual, and social—can turn dark or animal-like when we're scared, threatened, or in pain in our marriages or world, and we talk about how to slow down, stay kind stay human, godly, and loving in hard or dystopic times. Though the episode is grounded and practical, Christa addresses cognitive heuristics and mental shortcuts humans can use to dehumanize the "other" including the Halo Effect as well as examines how each instinct goes dark, self-preservation leading to hoarding, sexual instinct leading to using people, and social instinct leading to outgrouping and tribalism—and offers practical ways to stay strong in faith. Drawing on CS Lewis's wisdom that evil must be unwound bit by bit, she calls listeners to not rush the stories of pain away or abandon friends who voted differently as you fight for justice - we're one human body, and we must rise together. Watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dorothy Littell Greco, marriage ministry leader and author joins us for a powerful conversation about abandoning misogyny and misandry (disdain for all men or women) in favor of mutual flourishing in marriage, including sexual flourishing, especially since pornography use, perpetrating harm to women is rampant. Despite undeniable progress as we discover the mental loads women and men carry in the 20th and 21st centuries, misogyny and misandry are still alive in culture, often in ways more subtle and insidious than outright sexism of the past, and it shows up in marriages in ways couples don't always recognize. Statistically, misogyny especially hurts marriage intimately and sexually. In this conversation, we focus specifically on how it shows up in Christian marriages and what it costs both women and men since this is a lose-lose system where no one wins. A type 1 justice fighter with a long and successful marriage of faith and confession, Dorothy unpacks how dismantling misogyny isn't just good for women, it benefits men and marriages too, creating space for true partnership where both spouses can grow and flourish. Join us as we talk about why we need to abandon both misogyny (disdain for women) and misandry (disdain for men) in favor of a partnership that honors the image of God in both. Find Dorthy's book, "For the Love of Women: Uprooting and Healing Misogyny in America" on Amazon: https://a.co/d/55qxeyd Find Dorthy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dorothylgreco/?hl=en Find Dorthy's riveting blog: https://www.dorothygreco.com/ The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠here ⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Week 3 of our January instincts series reveals the hidden fears that block intimacy for SP, SO, and SX types. Why does your SP partner hoard resources? Why does your SO spouse need constant social validation? Why does your SX partner panic when you're emotionally distant? Understanding these core fears changes everything - plus, discover how to rebuild weakened instincts instead of watching them decline. Watch here on YouTube! The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠here ⁠or at ⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Casey and Meygan Caston, creators of the Marriage365 platform that reaches millions each week, join us as authors of the brand new book, The Marriage Habit (recommended by Dr. Gary Chapman and many others, including Christa right here)! Join us for a riveting and inspiring conversation about the ten non-negotiable habits that successful couples use to maintain and repair their relationships. After fifteen years of helping couples and working through their own deep hurt, Casey and Meygan have gained tremendous insight into the common issues couples from all walks of life face and how they choose to solve or not solve them. Drawing on user data and candid stories from couples around the world, Casey and Meygan show how we create massive results including taking a four step apology process, the sex talk, weekly regular awareness inventories to appreciate how your partner's preferences, opinions, and differences are evolving, offering unsolicited apologies that break down walls of resentment and disconnection, and removing assumptions by being clearer about the specific ways you want to be loved. Focused on action and practicality (Casey and Meygan's 7-8 pairing gifts), this couple and episode provide hope for couples in any circumstances to solve their own problems as they work to create the relationship of their dreams. Watch on YouTube! Find Casey and Meygan on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/marriage365/ Pre-order your copy of The Marriage Habit now and get $320 worth of bonuses, too! (releases Feb 3!) ⁠The Marriage Habit⁠ right here! https://a.co/d/b9ZBUjW (Get bonuses here: https://marriage365books.com/ Find Casey and Meygan's courses, app, and SO much more right here! www.Marriage365.com The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount here or at https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now that you know more about the Enneagram instincts and desires, and you've heard that they're even MORE important than your types, what's one way you can build a bridge in an opposites attract pairing? Today we explore exactly that - what happens when different dominant instincts collide in marriage and what can you do. What happens when Security-focused (SP) marries Intensity-focused (SX)? Or when Social-focused (SO) pairs with Security-focused (SP)? I break down all 6 possible combinations with quick fixes for each. Real couples, real solutions, simple framework you can use today. Watch on YouTube! Deeper dive with us on Apple Pod, too! Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the Russ Hudson Three Instincts course ⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we shift into this new year with intention, best-selling author and influencer Hannah Brencher, Type 4, author of The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World, joins us for a conversation about building healthy tech habits in marriage and family life. Featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and more with a reach of 200K+, Hannah brings beautiful creative ways to unplug that cover all three instincts: self-preservation (creating time for health and rest), sexual (more presence in your marriage), and social (intentional with people, not just scrolling). As a Type 4 who needs depth, authenticity, and space for creativity, Hannah shares her end-of-day phone ritual where she turns her phone down, uses a brick phone of sorts, how she helps her type 2 hubby with his phone, and fascinatingly relies on yellow legal pads to inspire analog creativity instead of defaulting to screens. She and Christa explore how to navigate tech boundaries in marriage without conflict, too. Hannah also shares how she's thinking about tech habits for her family and building boundaries while her kids are young and most impressionable with habits. This conversation is full of practical wisdom, gentle encouragement, and honest reflection on how to reclaim presence in a digitally connected world with intention, too. Watch on YouTube! Find Hannah's work at HannahBrencher.com Follow Hannah at Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hannahbrencher/?hl=en Find Hannah's book, The Unplugged Hours here! https://a.co/d/fmw0XqV Other E + M News: Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the Russ Hudson Three Instincts course ⁠⁠here!⁠⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After Monday’s incredible conversation with Russ Hudson, we’re diving into our January theme: Instincts & Intimacy. Today’s episode reveals how your dominant instinct (Self-Preservation, Social, or Sexual) often shows up differently when dating versus being married. We talk through not only how those differences may look, but how you can still try to find the healthiest and most achievable desires you're missing from those early honeymoon days. Break down each instinct’s dating “performance” versus marriage reality, plus how to work with (not against) your and your partner’s instinctual drives as you do so. Watch on YouTube! Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the course ⁠here!⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/ Find ⁠Russ Hudson's books here!⁠ https://russhudson.com/books/ For more about Russ, visit https://russhudson.com/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In our biggest kick-off of a new year yet, we introduce our listeners today to Russ Hudson, co-founder of The Enneagram Institute, best-selling author, and one of the world's most respected Enneagram teachers for over 30 years! Russ joins us for an hour-long, jam-packed conversation clarifying the three instincts: self-preservation, social, and sexual. This isn't surface-level learning, so get ready to transform with us while Russ explains what the instincts actually are at their core and why they're the engine of your relationships and marriage, not just an overlay to your type. Russ also dismantles common misunderstandings, and tells us about his deep diving course coming up! This conversation between Christa (Type 7) and Russ (Type 5) is full of joy, depth, and practical wisdom for you as you begin afresh this new year. Listen now on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen or watch here on YouTube! In his riveting and personal deep-diving eight-week course coming up Feb 18, The Instincts and Inner Work: Building Practices for Transforming Our Life Patterns, Russ will walk you through these instincts in even far more depth in an 8-week live course "The Instincts and Inner Work". Join here to dive into personal and relational transformation together with Russ himself. Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the course here! https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/ Find Russ Hudson's books here! https://russhudson.com/books/ For more about Russ, visit https://russhudson.com/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy New Year! We're completing our comprehensive series with the final 15 pairings - all combinations with Types 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Today explores how Head types (5-6-7) navigate their safety strategies in relationships, plus the powerful dynamics of Body types 8 and 9. From the double-withdrawal of 5+5 couples who risk becoming roommates, to the explosive intensity of 8+8 pairs, to the conflict-avoidant 9+9 dynamic that looks perfect until it isn't - each pairing gets practical insights and breakthrough moments. Whether you're navigating the 6+7 anxiety-meets-optimism dance or the classic 8+9 power-meets-peace dynamic, discover what makes your specific combination work. Plus, exciting news about Russ Hudson joining us Monday to discuss instincts and his upcoming course! Watch on YouTube!⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Get Your Glow Pairing Guide here! ⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow ⁠⁠Get Your Type Deeper Dive Here!⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives Use code HAPPYNEWYEAR for 30% off everything at the ⁠⁠website here⁠⁠! Become an E + M Certified coach here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Get coaching packages here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/coachingpackages Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy holidays from the E+M family! In Part 2 of our comprehensive series, we’re covering more Enneagram types! (2+8 through 4+9)! From the 2’s emotional giving, to the 3’s achievement drive, to the 4’s search for authentic connection, we're learning about what happens when double Heart types unite (hello, intensity!) and how they dance with Body and Head types as well. Each pairing includes real marriage examples and breakthrough insights you can apply immediately. Plus, get ready for an Instincts Masterclass as master Enneagram teacher Russ Hudson joins us next week! Whether you’re navigating the 3+3 power couple dynamic or the 4+5 pursuer-distancer dance (or another!), this episode illuminates your unique relationship blueprint for you and your spouse or helps you understand another close family or friend dynamic as well. Listen here!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Watch on YouTube!⁠ ⁠Get Your Glow Pairing Guide here! ⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow ⁠Get Your Type Deeper Dive Here!⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives Use code HAPPYNEWYEAR for 30% off everything at the ⁠website here⁠! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we're covering ALL 45 Enneagram couple combinations over three episodes. In Part 1, we explore every Type 1 pairing (1+1 through 1+9) and begin the Type 2s (2+1 - 2+7). Discover how those types that fight for justice, those types that tend to lean out emotionally, and how those looking for security plan for safety in relationships, and most of all, how they merge together. Whether you're a 1+2 navigating righteousness with tender expression, or any other pairing, you'll gain insights into your unique dynamic as you see all the couples and families in real life and in media too. Each pairing gets practical marriage attention and examples as well as key breakthroughs. This episode makes for perfect listening as you reflect on you and your marriage and family relationship patterns heading for deep life changes, and our glow guides, book, and the deeper dive guides are a great accompaniment! Watch on YouTube! Get Your Glow Pairing Guide here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow Get Your Type Deeper Dive Here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives Use code HAPPYNEWYEAR for 30% off everything at the website here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the final week of our Advent series, we explore love as the gift of understanding. After three weeks of learning about hope, peace, and joy through the lens of our instincts, we arrive at what matters most: choosing to understand your partner's instinctual needs instead of judging their behavior. When you see that your SP spouse isn't being cheap but protecting security, that your SO spouse isn't people-pleasing but creating belonging, or that your SX spouse isn't being needy but protecting intimacy, everything shifts. This episode recaps the four-week journey and invites you into a practice of choosing curiosity over blame, understanding over fixing, and compassion over criticism. If you've been following along this Advent season, this is where it all comes together, the gift you can give your spouse this Christmas and every day after. Watch on YouTube! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sara Billups (type 4, 4-5 pairing), author of "Nervous Systems: Spiritual Practices to Calm Anxiety in Your Body, the Church, and Politics," joins us for a conversation about anxiety that's especially needed as we head into Christmas. Sara explores how anxiety manifests in three interconnected ways, and how couples who are in the sandwich generation (Millennial, Gen X especially) navigate personal anxiety, church disillusionment, and political division all at once as their nervous systems rise up in anxiety. Drawing from her experience caregiving for aging ill parents while parenting teens with their own anxiety along with her own anxiety, Sara offers wisdom for couples in the sandwich generation stretched thin caring for multiple generations while trying to protect their marriage. She also unpacks scrupulosity and how being trained to pursue "being good" is often far from healthy holiness, especially for those raised evangelical, and how this performance anxiety shows up in marriage. Sara's prescription for anxiety is holy indifference, the Ignatian concept of open-handedness toward both blessings and trials, not as giving up but as giving into the Spirit, and what this looks like practically when anxious about outcomes or when life isn't going as hoped. Rather than offering prescriptive how-to lists, Sara offered a soothing balm for anxious hearts heading into holiday chaos. Find "Nervous Systems" wherever books are sold. Watch on YouTube, too! Get Sara's book, Nervous Systems, here! https://a.co/d/ieVOMum Deeper Dive Guides on sale here! Use code DEEPERDIVE for $10 off! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/deeper-dives Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The third episode in our Advent series explores why most couples don't feel joyful during the holidays and how to protect joy when everything feels like obligation and chaos. Joy becomes elusive when we expect it to be natural, when we prioritize mere survival over connection, when we forget to dig deep to remember God's love for us is the deepest reason for joy, when we lose ourselves in others' never-ending needs, when we escape instead of engaging, and when we don't pause during the chaos that puts your nervous system in survival mode where delight is impossible. There is so much to learn and we can take it step by step together! Listen here as you find centering and re-embrace delight this holiday or anytime of year!! Watch on YouTube! Use the code "GLOW" for $10 Couple Pairing Guides here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices