Blended - Navigating The Blended Family Experience

I took the time to answer some blended family questions that I'm sure each of us can relate to!

Do you accept yourself? As you are? At this very moment? Most are either slow to answer the question or quick to pinpoint areas that require some serious maintenance. However, it's not just possible, but it is necessary that we are content even in the midst of our efforts to improve. Each of us will have the opportunity to take a step toward acceptance as we work to become best version of ourselves and everything that our family could ask for.

Our walk does not always match the talk... You don't have to be a monster for a bit of hypocricy to show up in your parenting. In fact, the more we reflect the love and character of Jesus, the more likely we'll be to recognize the inconsistencies in the way that we lead. Parenting with integrity may require a bit more from us on a daily basis, but what it does for our families is well worth the effort!

Have you ever come to the realization that you're carrying wounds from a previous relationship? Have you underestimated the impact that yesterday's wounds are having in this present moment? Welcome to the club! Our relationships, especially our love interests, can result in emotional, mental and spiritual scars. Simply moving on from hurt and suspecting that we're ready for another commitment is insufficient for healing at best, and extremely dangerous in the worst of situations. With time, community, and forgiveness, we can all be healed. Even in the face of situations that have resulted in even the deepest wounds.

Realizing that you're a people pleaser is a tough revelation! What may have started as a healthy desire to provide support and satisfaction for others, can become an inability to hold back our precious time, attention and resources. When the gift of kindness has become corrupt, we can become the type of people that consider ourselves valuable based on what someone else has to say. Freedom is on the other side of those that break the cycle of pleasing others to our detriment and that of our families.

We can be "well meaning" in our efforts and genuine about our intent to love and support everyone that we encounter. Regardless, we will likely find ourselves on the receiving end of disapproval from others at some point. If we're being honest, this typically isn't a comfortable position to be in. In fact, this experience can be crushing. Especially if this sense of rejection is happening in our own homes. Nonetheless, continuing to build a foundation for our family, and establishing a level of self-respect that will eventually speak for itself, will shrink the voices of disapproval. There is hope for tomorrow, even if they don't like you today!

How do I get my marriage back on track? Is a loving and fruitful relationship even realistic? It seems people are asking these type of questions more than ever! Claire Jorgensen is convinced that "all marriages can be saved," and she follows through with this belief within her practice. As a coach, Claire supports women, men, and couples find hope and restoration in the most important areas of life. Having experienced transformation in her own life and marriage, she serves from a place of compassion and personal experience. This episode is full of all kinds of gems that your relationship will benefit from. Take a listen! Resources & How To Get In Touch With Claire: Website: https://claireafuajorgensen.coach/ Book a transformation call: https://claireafuajorgensen.coach/book-a-call/ Articles in magazines: https://claireafuajorgensen.coach/press-kit/ Free Ebook on 5 things you can do to Save your marriage: https://marriage-saved.ck.page/d2dec323f3 Free Marriage Test to tell you where your marriage is and what to do: https://marriage-saved.ck.page/93bf58e16e Magic Mind is offering 56% off your subscription for the next 10 days with my code 'BLENDED20' at https://www.magicmind.com/blended.

The connection with your spouse is what keeps the relationship alive and fruitful! Our ability to endure the give and take that comes with family also depends on our efforts to remain on the same page. During this episode Margo and I discuss how we practice the life saving tool of checking in with one another. We also got to do some celebrating because what comes natural now, seemed impossible not too long ago! If you want to hear how an imperfect couple has stumbled through this process of maintaining the right kind of intimacy, then you'll want to take a listen! Magic Mind is offering 56% off your subscription for the next 10 days with my code 'BLENDED20' at https://www.magicmind.com/blended.

In all realtionships, whether they are thriving or on the verge of falling apart, communication is one of the major factors. Both the quantity and the quality of our words will either serve the purpose of strengthening and affirming our relationships, or they will be a source of pain and discouragement. There's hardly a middle ground when it comes to the impact of our speech. So which will you choose?? Magic Mind is offering 56% off your subscription for the next 10 days with my code 'BLENDED20' at https://www.magicmind.com/blended.

It's the perfect time to bring this episode back! Holidays are truly a blessing and serve as a great opportunity for gratitude and connection. While there is no doubt that this can be achieved within the blended family, we can acknowledge that there are some hurdles (or landmines) that seem to interfere with the goal. As we figure out the best way to navigate the holidays with peace in tact, considering the experience of the kid(s) is crucial! Reality is that there may be some things that the adults need to work out, but that doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice the experiences that our children should cherish.

It's likely not possible to be a great step-parent without being a fighter! The ability to pick battles, fight fair, endure, and get back up after getting knocked down, are just a few ways that this quality shows up. A few of our greatest bouts will be against: While the way that we fight most effectively will be tailored to each of us and our unique circumstances, the intent to build and defend our family unit is the goal.

I've gotten so much revelation over the last couple of months. One of my conclusions - I've been playing the fence! My desire to see individuals and families transformed pales in comparison to Gods desire for the family unit. What could be better than knowing that we can go to the source Himself?! Families are in need of truth, and I look forward to helping them find it!

Emotional stability is an underrated commodity. Proverbs 25:28 states, "Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls." We aren't as familiar with the necessity of literal walls today, but they once meant the difference between a safe and functional civilization, and one that is left vulnerable to attack and disorder. The consequence of emotional instability can be compared to a city without walls! Growing in this area with intention should be the objective of every step-parent. Security and prosperity in every area are the result!

Being quick to forgive is much more about strength than it is about being passive! This is one of the more impactful qualities that a Step-parent can bring into their family dynamic, and continue to develop. Among the things that forgiveness provides are: Who doesn’t want this for their family?! Step-parents are essential for achieving these byproducts. Being an individual that won’t settle for anything short of following through with their commitment, and believing for more for their family makes it possible! I’d love to connect with you! So if you’re looking for support, click the link below so we can schedule a 30 minute consultation. https://calendly.com/renewyou-live/30min

Are blended families really THAT hard? Most of us understand that any and every family comes with their challenges. However, there is a level of struggle that seems unreasonable. Or maybe 'the trial' has lasted so long that you wonder whether this is to be expected, or is your situation out of the norm. Reality is that there are greater threats to our marriages and families that tend to be overlooked. As a result we place emphasis on symptoms of what's actually happening below the surface. Listen in so that you can move your energy and attention from the fruit, and onto the root of your struggle!

As an Associate Marriage & Family Therapist, Kristi Mears specializes in serving clients that have experienced trauma in relation to betrayal. Kristi has found that this issue in particular is pervasive in nature. This is in part due to the reality that intimacy within our relationships creates vulnerabilities. Nonetheless, our most important relationsips are best served as we give of ourselves fully, opposed to our decisions and actions being shaped by fear. Kristi shares with us her expertise and personal experience to help us understand what betrayal trauma is, and some of the steps that can be taken to overcome it! If you're looking for help with betrayal trauma and/or the services of a Marriage & Family Therapist the you can find Kristi's services here: integritycounselinggroup.com/kristi-mears

It has probably never been so difficult for two people to get on the same page! The confusion around relationships and how they should be done seems to be growing by the day. This is no way to build a foundation for the future. In order to avoid the moment where we're trying to define our relationship, we have to put forth a counter-cultural effort of intention and living with clear direction.

Such a powerful conversation! Margo was entirely unprepared for the moment when she realized that she was pregnant. The fact that there was zero stability in her relationship only made things more complicated. Unfortunately, her experience is not as irregular as one would think. Margo was aware of the reality that she'd likely have to raise a child on her own. During the episode she also relays her experience as she briefly wrestled with the idea of abortion; a thought that Margo never imagined she'd have to consider. This conversation was a tough one, but she is evidence of Gods goodness in a tough situation. Her story is an example of what it means to fight for the things worth fighting for!

A child can hardly help but to be a reflection of their environment. Behavior, attention spans, demeanor, mannerisms and so many other indicators point to whether their needs are being met, or whether they're lacking in some way. Kathy Tempco has been working closely with young learners for almost 20 years. During this episode she speaks on her experiences of serving kids that have an ideal environment, as well as those that suffered from extreme lack. Regardless of where a child lands on that spectrum, the need for healthy parental/adult relationships and an environment of support, are a constant necessity.

When does the desire to help end, and the attempt to be someones savior begin? This can be such a tough line to identify. Lending a hand or providing support shouldn't result in the sacrifice of our well-being. Nor do we want to rob people of the opportunity to develop and build character during what may be a trying time. Operating with both grace and tact is no easy task!