Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

In this Dear Damona episode, we tackle what to do when someone keeps canceling last minute before you've even had a first date, and how to tell the difference between giving someone a fair chance and letting them waste your time. This week, a listener named Jenna shares: "I matched with a guy on a dating app and followed your advice. After a week of messaging, I asked him for a brief phone call. He was so fun to talk to, and we seemed aligned. We agreed to meet for drinks after work. The day of the date came, and at lunchtime he texted and apologized that a work emergency came up and he had to cancel. He asked to reschedule and we found a day the following week, and he canceled again with a similar work situation." What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why that gut feeling of resistance before rescheduling is actually your bodily wisdom talking The real difference between the benefit of the doubt and gullibility The must-do screening steps that reduce ghosting and flakiness What two last-minute cancels actually reveal about someone's priorities The hidden cost of rescheduling for someone who keeps flaking Resources & Links: Unlock the secret to successful dating with our Date Tracker at ⁠Damonahoffman.com/datetracker ⁠ Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255. Follow @DamonaHoffman on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠, or ⁠Facebook⁠ and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Dear Damona episode, we discuss how to navigate multiple long-distance connections, when to book that first in-person meeting, and how to handle the money talk before you pack your bag. If you've matched with someone across the country (or the ocean) and you're not sure what to do next, this is your guide! This week, a listener named Maryanne shares: "I'm 71 and looking for a long-term partner. I went on two niche sites and matched with a few good options, but they all live elsewhere. One lives in Hawaii and he invited me over for a week. The other guy lives in LA and both seem serious about me. There is even a guy in Mexico who has come on the scene just after the other two. What's the best way to meet out of town dates? How do I know who pays for what? When do I tell them I am also meeting other men?" What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why expanding your dating pool across time zones can actually work in your favor The one-day-to-one-week rule every long distance dater needs to know How to build real connection before you ever book a flight The eight-week milestone that changes everything Why staying at his place for a first meeting is a hard no (and what to do instead) How to handle the money conversation without making it awkward When you actually need to tell someone you're seeing other people Resources and Links: Unlock the secret to successful dating with our Date Tracker at Damonahoffman.com/datetracker Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255. Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special Valentine's Day episode, Damona hears insights from John Kim (The Angry Therapist), Vedic astrologer Carol Allen, Authors of Getting it Right This Time Orna & Matthew Walters, feminist dating coach Lily Womble, and Seth Hoffman (her husband) about what they got wrong about love and what they got right. She asks each of them two questions: What's the biggest relationship myth you once believed that turned out to be untrue? And what's the one pillar that actually keeps your relationship standing today? What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why doing "the work" on yourself isn't a one-time fix that makes love easy Why “the spark” fizzles out How a fixed mindset keeps you stuck The one way out of the friend zone How much is too much to share on a date The secret quality that couples need to thrive The feeling of true connection vs. chemistry The #1 Pillar in Damona’s relationship Guest Links: John Kim (The Angry Therapist): theangrytherapist.com Carol Allen: loveisinthestars.com Orna & Matthew Walters: loveonpurpose.com / Book: Getting It Right This Time Lily Womble: datebrazen.com / Book: Thank You More Please Resources and Links: Pick up F The Fairytale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Love Story on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your local bookseller. Find links at fthefairytalebook.com Join Damona LIVE at Civana Wellness Resort in Carefree, Arizona on Feb. 14-15 or April 15-17th (DamonaHoffman.com/lovelab) to reserve your room and your space in Damona’s workshops Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Dear Damona episode, we cover revenge reporting, why dating app systems meant to protect us sometimes get weaponized, and how to handle rejection with grace while protecting yourself when things go sideways. This week, a listener named Lisa shares: "I just didn't think this was gonna be good. So I wrote him a respectful message. He responded respectfully. And within an hour I get an email from match.com that my account had been canceled due to some misbehavior. I know in my gut that guy was vindictive and turned me in. Is this a thing?" What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why trusting your intuition early saves you time and emotional energy later The right way to exit a match without overexplaining or giving someone ammunition What revenge reporting is and who it disproportionately hurts How dating app moderation works and why they block first, ask questions later What to do if you get banned from a dating app and how to appeal Resources and Links: Unlock the secret to successful dating with our Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker. Join Damona for in person workshops at Civana Wellness resort on February 14th and 15th and April 15-17th! Click HERE Enter code: VWGDAMONA Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255. Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Dear Damona epsiode, we address what happens when you are late to the dating game, why dating is a skill you build through practice, and how to protect yourself without closing off to opportunity. If you're new to dating or want to approach it with a beginner's mind, this episode is a must-listen This week, a listener named Butterfly shares: "I am now in my late twenties and struggling to find a mate. I had strict parents and wasn't allowed to date in high school or my early twenties. I never tried with relationships, and now that I'm getting older, I'm in a place where I'd like a relationship, but I can never find the first person. I feel like the men I've tried to date have taken advantage of my naivety and wasted my time with no real intentions. I don't know how to build a genuine bond with someone and don't know what to look for and what to avoid. Can you help?" What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why dating is a skill you build through practice, not something you're supposed to magically know The real reason people seem to "waste your time" Green flags to look for that signal someone is worthy of your trust and attentionThe "name and narrate" strategy How to approach dating with a beginner's mind at any stage of life Resources and Links: Unlock the secret to successful dating with our Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker. Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255. Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Join us IN PERSON at Civana Resort - book your space for February 14-15 now: https://be.synxis.com/?Hotel=7841&Chain=25041&promo=VWGDAMONA and enter code: VWGDAMONA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sabrina Zohar, dating expert and host of the Sabrina Zohar Show, discusses navigating breakups without self-blame, understanding dating anxiety, and finally breaking the patterns that keep you stuck. If you’re starting 2026 single or considering breaking off a relationship, this episode is a must-listen What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why January is officially "breakup month" and how the holidays reveal what we've been avoiding all year The 5-minute compassion practice that helped Sabrina move through major loss and heartbreak How texting has turned dating into a dopamine slot machine and how to break the vicious cycle The difference between hurting someone's feelings, harming them, and helping them How a tickingbiological clock can lead to different dating choices How to transform a breakup into a learning opportunity Sabrina's plea to stop weaponizing attachment styles and treating your partner like a project Resources and Links Follow Sabrina Zohar on Instagram @SabrinaZohar and listen to The Sabrina Zohar Show wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255 Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Damona is joined by her good friend Danny Santos, shaman, healer, astrologer, and tarot reader, to look at the astrology of 2026 and how it’s setting the stage for love this year. What You'll Hear In This Episode Key transits and cosmic shifts to watch out for in the year ahead Which houses in your birth chart actually matter for compatibility, and why your moon sign may reveal more than your sun sign Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's astrological compatibility breakdown, plus celebrity couples Danny is watching in 2026 The Year of the Horse energy: how to use the adventurous energy of the year to propel you into love Resources and Links Book a session with Danny Santos at santoscrystalvisions.com and use code DATES for 10% off your first session Follow Danny on Instagram @SantosCrystalVisions Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255 Follow @damonahoffman on TikTok and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime. *Our IG and FB are currently paused, so use any of the other apps and phone to contact us this week* Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How many times have you swiped through endless options and come up empty? You've got matches, you've got conversations, but you don't have clarity. And clarity is what dating in 2026 is all about. In this episode, we share what the data is telling us about the future of dating and relationships. Damona isn’t making vague predictions; she shares 9 clear themes that are likely to emerge this year,grounded in research from major dating apps, relationship trends, and over 15 years of coaching singles through their love lives. We break down what "all or nothing" really means for your dating life, why effort is becoming the bare minimum, and how authenticity is actually your superpower. This is the year singles stop negotiating with maybe. Why 2026 is the year of all or nothing: clarity is replacing ambiguity How "clear-coding" your intentions upfront is replacing ghosting and emotional labor Why effort and consistency are becoming the bare minimum, not optional The surprising shift around dinner dates and what it actually signals about romance The declaration you’re likely to be making on your social media accounts Why low-volume dating with high engagement is the new strategy that actually works The biggest relationship buzzword of 2026 Track your patterns and move forward with clarity. Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question for 2026? DM @DamonaHoffman or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 *Our Instagram and Facebook accounts are currently paused so message us on TikTok, X, or YouTube, through the contact form on ⁠DamonaHoffman.com⁠, or the number above* Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is the magical first date zone between oversharing and playing it too cool? A listener named Brian shares: "I realize I have two dating modes. Either I dump all my emotional baggage on the first date, or I stay super chill and keep everything surface level, even when I want to go deeper. I've been hurt enough times that I just don't trust people to really be there for me anymore. How do I communicate in a healthy way without either overwhelming someone or hiding completely?" In this episode, we break down what's actually happening underneath both extremes. They're not opposites; they come from the same place. We look at the difference between throwing your pain at someone and letting them discover who you really are. Plus, we share the framework that helps you build trust gradually, without becoming either the person who overshares or the person who keeps everyone at arm's length. What You'll Hear: Both protection modes come from the same wound, but one looks like radical honesty and the other looks like walls Why your nervous system isn't your enemy, it's just doing what it learned to do after being hurt The goldilocks zone: how to start small and turn up the volume as trust builds What healthy vulnerability actually looks like in practice (it's not what you think it is) How connection points, not trauma dumps, create real intimacy on dates The power of follow-up questions and ping-pong conversation over one-way vulnerability dumps Rewriting your dating story: from "I keep getting it wrong" to "I'm learning to connect" Ready to get clarity on what's working in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker to track your patterns and see where real connection starts to happen. Got a question about vulnerability, trust, or showing up authentically on dates? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You've been married for 29 years. You're newly separated at 52. Your inbox is suddenly full of men in their twenties and thirties. And you're sitting there wondering: what the heck is going on? A listener we call Confused in Coatesville shares: "I'm separated a year in the process of divorce after 29 years of marriage. I'm 52 and I'm told that I look a lot younger. On dating apps, I'm getting hit up by a lot of 30-somethings and even late twenties. I have very little interest in somebody under the age of 40, considering that I have a 30-year-old myself. How do I get matches in my age range that would have an interest in me?" In this episode, we unpack the real reasons younger men are reaching out, and what it actually means to date again after decades of marriage. What You'll Hear: Why younger men showing up in your inbox isn't random The difference between what you needed at 23 and what actually serves you now How "I look younger than my age" might be working against your dating goals Why an age gap hits different at 50 than it does at 25 The power of being strategic about which apps you use (and tracking your results) Setting boundaries with matches who aren't aligned with you…without guilt Ready to figure out what's actually working in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker to start tracking where your best matches come from and what patterns are showing up for you. Got a question about dating after divorce, age gaps, or navigating the apps? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can you have 50+ matches and still no dates? Every conversation either fizzles out or someone reschedules and disappears. And worst of all, you keep seeing the same faces on every app year after year. A listener named S shares: "I end up with 50-plus matches like within 48 hours, which okay, great. But then I either get too overwhelmed by so many conversations and endless swiping and all the same people, or I narrow it down and end up with just dead conversations. And there's guys having fantastic phone calls, scheduling dates, then asking for a raincheck without suggesting a date. What is going on?" In this episode, we talk about the real problem behind dating app burnout we will cover why the algorithm is working against you in the first two weeks, and explain how to protect your energy from people who are keeping you on the hook with no real plan. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Is the paradox of choice really what's holding you back from dates? The dirty little secret about how dating apps What happens when you treat matches like coins in a fountain instead of fish on a line Why "interest" and "intention" are not the same thing How the one-to-one rule helps you identify who's actually serious When to end conversations with people who are keeping you on the hook Ready to get better dates (not just more matches)? Grab the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com to learn how to write a dating profile that attracts the right people. It's $9, and the fastest way to stop wasting time on dead conversations. Got a question about dating apps, burnout, or mixed signals? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever notice how the holidays have a way of forcing conversations you've been avoiding? When someone you're dating wants to introduce their whole life to yoursbut you've been keeping parts of that life hidden,it's not just awkward timing. It's a moment of truth. A listener named Kayla shares: "I've been dating this guy for 10 months and things are getting serious. He has a five-year-old son from a previous relationship, and I've met him a few times. But I haven't told my parents he has a kid yet. I know I should have mentioned it earlier, but it felt too soon, and now it feels too late. My family's having their big holiday dinner, and he wants to bring his son. Do I tell them before he comes, or should I ask him to come next year instead?" In this episode, Damona unpacks what's really happening beneath the surface: it's not your parents' reaction you're most afraid of,it's committing fully to a relationship that includes a child. You'll hear why silence and omission create more distance than honesty ever will, and how to move from avoidance to authentic integration with your family. What You'll Hear In This Episode: The weight of carrying a secret Why dating someone with a child is a high-stakes situation How to reframe your own expectations to accept the full picture of someone's life The difference between protecting hiding The hidden opportunity in a holiday meet up Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He says he wants to take things slow and get to know you organically. But when direct questions about his background get dodged, he frames your need for basic information as paranoia, and something's off. A listener named Jada shares: "We matched two weeks ago and the chemistry is amazing. He texts good morning and goodnight, he's enthusiastic about meeting up. But whenever I ask specifics like where he works, what neighborhood he lives in, or even his last name, he gets vague and changes the subject. He keeps saying he likes to stay mysterious and we should get to know each other organically. Part of me thinks it's charming, but another part is worried. Is asking for his last name before we meet reasonable?" In this episode, we break down the difference between genuine mystery and information withholding. You'll learn the practical steps to vet someone before you go in-person, what actual red flags look like in the early stages, and how to advocate for your peace of mind without feeling like you're being unreasonable. What You'll Hear In This Episode: The difference between staying mysterious and hiding information How to recognize the signs of suspicious gaslighting Damona’s 3-step vetting process: PeopleFinders, LinkedIn, and reverse image search The vital online dating step you might be skipping The one-to-one rule: definitive timing guidelines for dating apps How to protect yourself from the rise in romance scams without closing yourself off to connection Vet your matches with PeopleFinders today! PeopleFinders has set up a special three-day trial offer for Dates & Mates listeners. Head to DamonaHoffman.com/safety to search someone's background, verify their information, and get the peace of mind you need. Got a dating safety question or want to share what you've learned? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your best friend used to be your first call. Now you have to schedule weeks in advance just to see her, and her new boyfriend keeps calling your friendship "codependent." A listener named Sarah shares: "My best friend and I have been inseparable for six years. We talk every day, we're each other's emergency contacts, and honestly she feels more like family than my actual family. But lately her new boyfriend has been making comments about how 'codependent' we are and how she needs to 'prioritize him now.' She's starting to pull back and it's breaking my heart. Am I wrong to feel like she's my person? How do I communicate to her that what we have matters just as much without sounding jealous or clingy?" In this episode, we unpack the invisible hierarchy of love that puts romance at the top and pushes friendships aside. You'll hear why speaking up for the relationships that matter isn't selfish, it's necessary, and how to advocate for your connections without being dismissed as jealous or needy. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why romantic love doesn't automatically rank higher than friendship love How the "codependent" label gets weaponized against close friendships What it means when a partner asks someone to "prioritize him now" The real reason you're afraid of sounding jealous or clingy How to start the conversation without triggering defensiveness When to recognize someone is making you smaller in their life Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Uncommon Goods makes holiday shopping stress-free and joyful with thousands of one-of-a-kind gifts you can't find anywhere else. So shop early, have fun, and cross some names off your list today. To get 15% off your next gift, visit UncommonGoods.com/DatesMates. ________________________________________________________________________ Ever meet someone you really like, but there's this invisible wall around certain topics they won't talk about? A listener named Kristen shares: "I met this guy on Hinge and we've gone out on three dates. We've talked about some personal things about family and stuff, and we have a lot of things in common. One of the things is we were both raised by single parents and one of the parents he's not as close to, and he said it's like a touchy subject for him. So I want to respect that. But I also wanna know a little bit more just to understand how they grew up and how they are as a person and all that jazz, you know?" In this episode, we explore the delicate balance between curiosity and respect, and how to navigate those closed doors in early dating. You'll hear why someone saying "it's a touchy subject" is actually valuable information and how to build trust without pushing too hard. What You'll Hear In This Episode: What "touchy subject" really means The paradox of wanting to protect yourself while giving someone space Is 3 dates, once a week the right pace for slow love? How trust gets built in tiny moments The difference between healthy boundaries and emotional unavailability How to model vulnerability in a new relationship Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship or dating question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever meet someone who feels right on every emotional level, but the finance math ain’t mathin’? A listener named Ray shares: "I met a wonderful man online. We went on two amazing dates. He's attentive, attractive, and dare I say we had a magical connection. Here's the thing: it seems he's going through a major life transition. He quit his tech job nine months ago and has been figuring it out. His phone only works on Wi-Fi and he might need to figure out a different living situation to cut costs. I've worked really hard to get to where I'm at today. I'd like someone who could meet me halfway. Is this a deal breaker?" In this episode, we get real about what financial compatibility actually means and why wanting stability doesn't make you materialistic. You'll hear why a magical connection alone isn't enough and how to tell the difference between someone in transition versus someone who's stuck. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Red flags that deserve your digital detective skills What "meeting halfway" really means What is a fair contribution to ask from a partner How to contribute if you or your partner earns less How resentment builds in a new relationship. The questions you should be asking when someone's story doesn't quite add up Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life?Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship or dating question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever feel stuck managing someone else's emotional chaos when you're just trying to get through the day? This week we're tackling a different kind of relationship: the one between you and your boss. What happens when someone in a professional setting starts treating you like their therapist, and you can't just hit mute, unsubscribe, block and delete and walk away? This week, a listener shares: "My boss talks to me like I'm her best friend…way too much info. Relationship problems, family drama, sometimes mid-meeting she'll start telling a story that's got nothing to do with work. It's super uncomfortable, but I also don't wanna create tension. How do I keep things professional when the person in charge doesn't seem to know where the line is?" In this episode, we talk about why oversharing is a form of emotional manipulation and how to set clear but compassionate boundaries. You'll hear how to redirect without drama, why the post-pandemic return to office made boundaries messier, and how the pattern of stuffing down your feelings at work shows up in your romantic relationships too. What You'll Hear In This Episode: When nice doesn't mean safe Why emotional dumping creates liability not connection Three real ways to redirect oversharing without risking your job Why boundaries make you trustworthy, not cold How stuffing down your feelings at work shows up in your romantic relationships Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life?Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question?DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are sharing a special episode this week, from Dr. Sharon Malone's new podcast, The Second Opinion. On this show, women take back the conversation on health with straight talk, real experience, and the care we all deserve. You’ll hear prominent female advocates, experts and patients just like you sharing how they confronted gaps in our healthcare system and got second opinions that saved their lives. Alongside each guest, Dr. Sharon tackles the questions and topics we’ve been conditioned to ignore - the ones we search for at 3 a.m. but never bring up at the doctor’s office. From dismissed symptoms to systemic failures, she pulls back the curtain on what’s really going on in women’s health and gives women the tools to advocate for themselves and each other. In this episode, Dr. Sharon talks to CNN anchor and analyst Laura Coates about how she almost died during childbirth, her experience with early menopause and how she handles hot flashes on air and at home. Dr. Sharon shares menopause warning signs and helps Laura connect what she thought were individual experiences to menopause. And the two discuss the need for improved awareness around suffering through menopause and the benefits of Hormone Replacement Therapy. Listen to more of The Second Opinion: damonahoffman.com/secondopinion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever feel like you're speaking different languages with your partner, literally? When one of you wants deep conversations over text and the other needs to actually hear a voice, it's not just frustrating. It's creating real distance. This week, a listener shares: "I'm seeing this guy and we have totally different ways of communicating and it's starting to become a problem. He's all about texting, like everything is through text with him. He wants to have these deep conversations over text and I'm more of a 'can we just call, can we actually talk?' person. Last week I had something I really needed to bring up with him and I texted him about it since that's what he prefers and it went so wrong." In this episode, Damona unpacks why text-based communication has disrupted relationships more than dating apps ever did, what different communication preferences reveal about emotional processing, and how to bridge the gap without losing yourself in the compromise. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why texting is a new form of communication that must be learned How the “Why” behind someone’s communication style tells you everything A practical framework for having "communication about communication" Scripts for setting up “The Talk” about communication New ways to assess compatibility 4 ways to reconnect beyond a text message Resources & Links: Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a communication question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Help Dates & Mates win a Signal Award! Vote by October 9th at damonahoffman.com/award Loving someone who can't love you back the same way is one of the most tender, complicated situations in relationships. Sometimes the safest relationship in your life becomes the hardest one to navigate, and the person who knows you best is also the one you want most. This week, a listener shares: "I'm in love with my best friend. I'm a queer woman in my thirties and she's straight in her mid to late twenties. We've gotten progressively closer to the point where people think we are dating. My therapist told me my friend is the safest relationship that I have in my life. So sometimes I do wonder if what I'm perceiving as romantic love is just a really healthy friendship. Do I tell my best friend I'm in love with her? If I don't, how do I protect my heart and continue to have this incredible friendship that I never want to give up?" In this episode, Damona explores what happens when deep friendship intersects with romantic feelings. You'll hear about the difference between emotional safety and romantic compatibility, why fantasy relationships feel easier than real ones, and how to navigate truth-telling without causing collateral damage to the relationship that matters most. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why feeling safe with someone doesn't automatically make them your romantic match How staying in the fantasy can keep you emotionally unavailable to real possibilities The critical questions to ask yourself before revealing feelings to a friend What it costs you to stay silent when romantic feelings are involved Why creating distance might be the most clarifying move you can make right now How to baby step into gauging openness without risking everything at once What it means to proceed with compassion for both yourself and your friend Resources & Links: Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook Leave a voicemail or text: 424-246-6255 Dates & Mates is a finalist for a Signal Award! We need your support to ensure Love Wins! Vote for Dates & Mates at ⁠damonahoffman.com/award⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices