Couples Therapy In Seven Words

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ . What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. Along the way, we also talk about people getting canceled, trigger warnings, microaggressions—basically, a lot of stuff that might generate angry emails. Try to be kind, don’t panic, and have faith (our seven words) as you respond. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness-its-almost-here/. Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, is getting closer to its release. In this episode we talk more about various kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. What is betrayal? Why is it so painful? And how do you recover from the shock, get past the anger, and figure out how to move on? In this episode we talk about the kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. We touch on secret cross-dressing, porn and masturbation, financial malfeasance, and other examples. And we put in a plug for Bruce’s forthcoming book, to be called Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/marisa-flood/. How can you turn conflict into connection? Our guest in this episode, Marisa Flood, is a relationship coach who specializes in helping couples learn the skills they need to thrive. Marisa’s website is https://conflict2connection.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/dene-logan/. How can we reclaim the healthy masculine and feminine aspects we each have within us? And how does reclaiming those aspects help couples? Our guest in this episode, Dené Logan, uses her understanding of depth psychology, informed by her own experience, to help couples along the path to more fulfilling relationships. Dené’s website is https://denelogan.com/, and her forthcoming book is Sovereign Love: A Guide to Healing Relationships by Reclaiming the Masculine and Feminine Within. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine/. Our guest in this episode, Artemisia De Vine, is an expert on sexual fantasies, an expertise she developed through her work as a professional dominatrix. We talk about the meaning of sexual fantasies, and how understanding them can unlock deeper connection and spiritual growth. Her forthcoming book is The Spirituality of Smut: The Surprising Wisdom of Sexual Fantasies. Artemisia’s website is https://www.artemisiadevine.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sarah-watson/. Sarah Watson is a sex therapist and educator. Having grown up with little education about sex herself, Sarah now works with parents to help them have age-appropriate conversations with their kids about sex. Sarah also cohosts a podcast about menstruation with a focus on people who have bleeding disorders or experience extreme menstrual bleeding. Sarah’s website is https://simplesexeducation.com, and her Instagram handle is @swsxtherapy. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/OBA56wRhpI4. Our guest for this episode, Dr. Leanna Wolfe, was an anthropologist at heart before she knew the term. She tells us about her own experiences of sexual exploration, her anthropological work in Mexico, India, Papua New Guinea, and Africa, and her studies of polygamy, polyamory, and sexual violence. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/kathy-slaughter/. What is polyamory? What can people in monogamous relationships learn from the experience of people practicing polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy? Our guest in this episode, Kathy Slaughter, brings their own experience in a polyamorous family to their work with people considering and practicing polyamory. Find out more about Kathy’s work, including information on the Ethical Polyamory Apprenticeship program, at the Soaring Heart Center’s website, https://www.soaringheartcenter.com/, and on Instagram at @soaringheartindy. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/eft-allison-jayne-ewing/. For women who find themselves dating at midlife, often because of divorce, the prospects can seem dim. Our guest in this episode, Allison Jayne Ewing, works with women to help them clear internal blocks to successful dating, and open up to the excitement of falling in love again. Allison uses an approach called “Emotional Freedom Technique” (EFT), which involves self-tapping as a way of facilitating healing. Allison’s website is https://inspiredlifetapping.com. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-the-unforgivable/. What does it mean to forgive when you've been betrayed? And how do you get there? Dr. Chalmer talks about three steps to forgiveness: forgive yourself, forgive whoever hurt you, and forgive God. (Huh?) Don't worry, he explains that last one. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/nick-solaczek/. What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help couples? Our guest in this episode is Nick Solaczek, who is certified as an Imago Relationship Coach, and has developed tools to help couples improve their relationships. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/ken-schafer/. We’ve done lots of episodes about sex, but we haven’t talked specifically about erectile dysfunction before. Our guest in this episode, Ken Schafer, has dealt with ED himself, and along the way has become an expert on the subject who helps other men avoid some of the pitfalls he encountered. Ken’s website is https://www.healthysexualitywithken.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/satya-lila/. What is sacred sex, and how can couples explore its possibilities? Our guest in this episode, Satya Lila, teaches about sacred sexuality, its benefits for individuals and couples, and techniques that help it happen. Satya’s website is https://satyalila.info/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/tantra-katrina-bos/. When people hear “tantra,” at least in Western cultures, they usually think about techniques for mind-blowing sex. Our guest in this episode, Katrina Bos, does teach about tantric approaches to sex, but she recognizes that tantra is a spiritual path for living life in all its aspects, not just the sexual. Katrina points out that our seven words, “Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith,” map very well onto the ideas of tantra. And besides that, she explains her book title, You Don’t Have to Eat the Eyeballs! Katrina’s website is https://www.katrinabos.ca/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/mb-caschetta/. Our guest for this episode, MB Caschetta, was shocked to find out that she had been disinherited by her father. We talk about how that betrayal affected her, and her journey toward healing, forgiveness, and spiritual growth. MB’s website is https://www.mbcaschetta.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/shanenn-bryant/. Our guest today, Shanenn Bryant, describes herself as “a former insecure girl turned relationship confidence expert.” Through her own experiences of healing from toxic jealousy, Shanenn has developed resources to help her clients make the changes they need to gain confidence and improve their relationships. Shanenn’s website is https://www.topself.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/judy-comes-out/. In this brief episode, we re-introduce the podcast, and offer you a chance to win a free gift. And (ta-da!) Judy reveals a secret we’ve been keeping for months! (No, she’s not pregnant.) Want to comment? Argue? Complain? Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/danny-j/. Betrayal can happen in a lot of ways, and our guest in this episode, Danny-J Johnson, tells us about her own experiences and what she has learned from them. Danny found out as a teenager that her biological father was a sperm donor, and then as an adult discovered through DNA testing that she has dozens of biological half-siblings. She also went through discovering that her then-husband was having an affair. She talks about how those experiences—finding out her parents had lied to her about who her biological father was, and later finding out that her husband was cheating—have affected her, in terms of both pain and gain. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/lisa-gray/. How can conflict be healthy for a couple? Our guest, Lisa Gray, tells us about how she helps couples learn the skills of healthy conflict. Lisa’s book is Healthy Conflict, Happy Couple: How to Let Go of Blame and Grow Stronger Together. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.