Start with Small Steps

210 - Turning Lemons into Success In this episode, we dive into the inspiring ideas presented in Zach Friedman’s book, The Lemonade Life: How to Create Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything. We explore how self-awareness, resilience, and purposeful action can transform your life. From breaking free of the comparison trap to experimenting with new ideas, Friedman’s insights provide a fresh perspective on building a fulfilling life. If you’ve ever felt stuck or unsure how to achieve your goals, this episode offers practical steps to help you move forward. Escaping the Joneses Trap One of the first lessons in The Lemonade Life is breaking free from the cycle of comparison. Trying to "keep up with the Joneses" often leads to dissatisfaction, as we rarely see the full picture of others' lives. Instead of chasing external validation, Friedman urges us to focus inward and align our actions with what truly matters to us. The Importance of Self-Awareness Friedman emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness in achieving happiness and success. By asking ourselves questions like "What makes me happy?" and "What unique talents can I share with the world?" we can create a life that feels authentic and rewarding. This section of the podcast discusses practical steps to cultivate self-awareness and align it with your goals. Life as an Experiment Success rarely follows a straight line. Friedman suggests treating life as an experiment, where failures and missteps are opportunities to learn and grow. We explore how trying new approaches, analyzing results, and adjusting your strategies can pave the way for personal and professional breakthroughs. Navigating Life with a Compass Instead of relying on rigid plans, Friedman advocates for using a compass to guide your direction. This metaphorical compass helps you stay true to your North Star—your values and long-term goals—while adapting to life’s inevitable twists and turns. In this segment, we discuss how a compass-based mindset encourages flexibility and resilience. Committing to Plan A One of Friedman’s boldest ideas is abandoning the safety net of Plan B. While this doesn’t mean taking reckless risks, it emphasizes the power of fully committing to your primary goal. We discuss how focusing on Plan A allows you to channel your energy and creativity into making your dreams a reality. Key Takeaways: -Stop comparing your life to others and start focusing on your unique path. -Self-awareness is the foundation of success—discover what truly matters to you. -Life is a series of experiments; embrace failure as part of the process. -Use a compass to navigate your journey, focusing on direction rather than a fixed path. -Commit fully to your primary goal and avoid diluting your efforts with fallback plans. Final Thoughts: The Lemonade Life isn’t about reaching a perfect destination—it’s about enjoying the journey, learning from challenges, and celebrating small wins along the way. Take a moment to reflect on your personal compass. What’s ahead of you? What lessons have you learned from your past? What inspires you, and what holds you back? If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share it with friends, and leave a comment. For questions or feedback, reach out to us at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com. Let’s keep turning life’s lemons into success and happiness, one step at a time. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/210-turning-lemons-into-success/ https://www.zackfriedman.com/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

209 - The Lemonade vs. Lemon Life We’re diving into the idea of turning life’s lemons into lemonade, inspired by Zach Friedman’s book, The Lemonade Life: How to Fuel Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything. We’ll explore how to shift from a passive, “Lemon Life” mindset to an empowering “Lemonade Life,” where you take charge and thrive. I’ll also share personal reflections, practical tools like the PRISM framework, and insights into overcoming common personality pitfalls that hold us back. Get ready to learn how embracing risks and building the right mindset can transform your life! I break down what it means to live a Lemon Life, where you’re reactive and stuck, versus a Lemonade Life, where you’re proactive and intentional. We all have the power to choose how we approach life’s challenges. The PRISM Framework Perspective, Risk, Independence, Self-Awareness, and Motion—this is your roadmap to creating happiness and success. I talk about how each of these elements can help you reframe setbacks and take meaningful steps forward. Recognizing Personality Pitfalls Are you an External Excuser, Steady Settler, Daring Disruptor, or Change Chaser? I discuss how these tendencies can hold you back and share tips to overcome them. The Power of Happiness and Teamwork Happiness isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you cultivate first. I also highlight the importance of finding your “wolf pack”—the supportive people who help you succeed. Learning from Failure Failure isn’t the end of the road. It’s a stepping stone to success. I share personal stories about how setbacks shaped my journey and why risk-taking is essential to growth. Takeaways: Start shifting your mindset today—what challenges can you reframe as opportunities? Figure out which personality type might be holding you back and take small steps to change those habits. Don’t wait to find happiness. Start by building gratitude and joy right now. Surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you, and make sure you’re supporting them too. Embrace failure as part of the process—it’s the best teacher for long-term success. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/209-the-lemonade-vs-lemon-life/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

208 - Simple Ways to Feel at Home in Any Place In this episode, we explore This Is Where You Belong by Melanie Warnick, a book that examines how to create a sense of belonging no matter where you live. The host reflects on her own journey to embrace her town, which has never felt like home, and Warnick’s practical advice for fostering connection, appreciation, and engagement within one’s community. The Illusion of “Elsewhere”: We often believe we’d be happier in a new place, but the reality is that happiness depends more on our perspective and community than location. Warnick’s insight helps dismantle the myth that a move will “solve everything.” The Power of Knowing Your Neighbors: Engaging with neighbors creates a feeling of community and security. Building connections can be as simple as a friendly hello or lending a hand. When neighbors help each other, a town feels much more like home. Exploring the Local Scene: Discovering the unique offerings of your area—parks, markets, eateries, and historic spots—provides a fresh view and appreciation for where you live. Even if you’ve been in the area for years, Warnick suggests there’s always something new to explore. Volunteering and Community Involvement: Engaging in community work helps you feel part of something bigger and more invested in the local area. Volunteering or joining a club can be transformative for both you and the community. Developing a Routine: Frequenting a favorite coffee shop, park, or walking route creates familiarity and a sense of belonging. Finding small routines that connect you to the place can make any location feel more comfortable and “yours.” Takeaways -Feeling at home is often about mindset more than physical location. -Building local connections and engaging in local activities can help transform a place into a beloved home. -Seeing the uniqueness of a place—the people, traditions, and sights—fosters a genuine appreciation for it. -Small efforts to connect with others and engage in the community can make you feel rooted no matter where you are. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/208-being-at-home-where-you-live/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

207 - Transforming Overthinking With A New Soundtrack In today’s episode, we explore John Acuff’s Soundtracks: A Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Acuff dives into the idea that we are the stories we tell ourselves, and how these internal "soundtracks" can either propel us forward or hold us back. We discuss the importance of recognizing negative soundtracks, retiring them, and replacing them with positive ones. Whether it’s perfectionism or fear of failure, Acuff’s advice offers practical steps to stop overthinking and start achieving your goals. Identifying Broken Soundtracks: Acuff explains how negative soundtracks are often so ingrained in our minds that we don’t even notice them. We explore how to identify these self-sabotaging thoughts and why they are so destructive. Neuroplasticity and the Power to Change: A key concept in Soundtracks is neuroplasticity—the idea that our brains are capable of change at any age. This gives us the ability to rewrite our mental playlists and adopt more positive beliefs. Taking Action to Overcome Overthinking: The episode highlights how taking even the smallest action can disrupt the cycle of overthinking. By focusing on what we can do, rather than what we fear, we build confidence and momentum. Takeaways: Your thoughts shape your actions: Negative soundtracks can hold you back, but recognizing and replacing them is key to overcoming overthinking. Neuroplasticity empowers change: It’s never too late to rewire your brain and adopt healthier thought patterns. Action disrupts overthinking: Start small, take action, and watch your confidence grow. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/207-transforming-overthinking-with-a-new-soundtrack/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

206 - Meet New People and Build Lasting Friendships In this episode, we explore how to make new friends and build lasting relationships in a world where social connections have become harder to maintain. Inspired by Start With Hello by Shannon Martin, we discuss how small steps can lead to big changes in your social life. Whether you’re looking to rebuild connections lost during the pandemic or find new ways to meet people, this episode offers practical advice on how to start. The Power of Hello: How something as simple as greeting your neighbors can create opportunities for connection. Conversation Starters: Turning everyday events like buying a new car into ways to meet new people. Joining Clubs or Hobbies: How participating in group activities or hobbies helps form connections with like-minded people. The Challenge of Social Endurance: Recognizing that not every attempt to make friends will succeed, but persistence is key. The Importance of Vulnerability: Authenticity and openness are crucial in building strong, lasting friendships. Takeaways: Start Small: Meeting new people doesn’t require grand gestures—just saying “hello” is often the first step. Be Consistent: Building friendships takes time and requires patience and endurance. Not every interaction will lead to a lasting connection, but some will. Be Genuine: Friendships are built on authenticity, so approach new relationships with openness and curiosity rather than a need to impress. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/206-meet-new-people-and-build-lasting-friendships/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

205 - Harnessing Military Brat Lessons In this episode, we talk about Harris Faulkner’s book Nine Rules of Engagement, where she shares life lessons gleaned from growing up in a military family. Faulkner reflects on how military values such as resilience, teamwork, and integrity have shaped her approach to personal success. These principles are not just for soldiers but can be applied to everyday life to achieve success, overcome challenges, and develop inner strength. Trust in Your Potential: Faulkner emphasizes how military life fosters a sense of self-reliance and potential. Boot camp is more than just physical endurance—it’s about pushing mental and emotional boundaries to discover your true strength. Building Your Special Forces: Surrounding yourself with trusted individuals—your own "special forces"—is critical for overcoming life’s battles. Faulkner encourages finding people who have your back and nurture mutual trust. Overcoming Demons: Faulkner's rule on dealing with personal demons stands out. Whether they are habits or internal struggles, facing them head-on is essential for growth. She shares personal stories about how confronting her own shortcomings led to progress. Takeaways: This episode underlines the importance of personal integrity, readiness, and teamwork. The key to success lies in understanding your mission, staying ready to act, and always maintaining strong personal relationships. Tune in to learn how Faulkner’s military upbringing can inspire and guide your personal journey to success. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/205-harnessing-military-brat-lessons/ https://www.harpercollins.com/blogs/authors/harris-faulkner https://abcnews.go.com/US/book-excerpt-harris-faulkners-rules-engagement/story?id=56245142 Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

204 - The World Through the Five Senses In this episode, we read about the fascinating world of senses based on Gretchen Rubin's book Life in Five Senses. We explore how being more mindful of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch can profoundly change how we experience life. Sight: Vision is more than what meets the eye. Our brain fills in the gaps, making sense of incomplete or ambiguous images. We also learn how perception changes based on context, like hunger influencing our view of objects as food. Sound: Rubin talks about the contrast between city noise and natural quiet. Even silence has its own "noise" if we listen closely. She explores how focusing on everyday sounds, like the hum of traffic or the chop of vegetables, can offer new insights into our surroundings. Smell and Taste: These senses are strongly linked, guiding our food choices and triggering memories. Rubin reveals how scents like freshly baked cookies can create emotional responses, even influencing decisions like buying a house. Touch: The pandemic made us realize how much we crave human touch, whether it's a hug or a pat on the shoulder. Touch extends beyond physical connection, including the vibrations of a car or the feel of soft fabrics. Takeaways: -Becoming more aware of our senses enriches our experience of the world. -Small steps, like focusing on one sense at a time, can deepen mindfulness. -Rubin encourages us to journal our sensory experiences to enhance memories and appreciation for everyday life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/204-the-world-through-the-five-senses/ https://gretchenrubin.com/books/life-in-five-senses/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

203 - Rediscovering Life Through Our Senses In this episode, we explore the fascinating world of our senses with insights from Gretchen Rubin's book Life in Five Senses. We discuss how our senses shape our understanding of the world, the ways in which they adapt when one is lost, and how paying attention to them can enhance our everyday experiences. The Role of Senses in Perception: We explore how our brain processes sensory information to create a complete picture of the world, combining inputs like sight, sound, and smell to form our understanding. Adaptability of Senses: Rubin shares her experience of losing her sense of smell due to COVID-19 and how this impacted her perception of taste. This temporary loss highlighted the interconnectedness of our senses and their adaptability when one is compromised. Unique Sensory Experiences: Everyone experiences the world differently through their senses. We discuss how personal preferences, such as taste and smell, vary and how our brain's biases influence these sensory experiences. Enhancing Sensory Awareness: Rubin's daily visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art were an attempt to immerse herself fully in sensory experiences. We discuss how such practices can deepen our appreciation of the world around us and bring us more into the present moment. Takeaways: Our senses are powerful tools that shape our perception of the world. By paying closer attention to them, we can enhance our experiences and find more joy in everyday life. The adaptability of our senses is remarkable, showing how our body compensates when one is lost or diminished. Each person's sensory experience is unique, shaped by their preferences and brain's biases. Embracing these differences can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and others. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/203-rediscovering-life-through-our-senses/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

202 - Wear the Six Thinking Hats In this episode, we explore Edward de Bono’s revolutionary framework, "The Six Thinking Hats." This method offers a structured approach to problem-solving and decision-making by encouraging participants to adopt different mindsets, each represented by a colored hat. We explore how this technique can be applied in various scenarios, from corporate meetings to family discussions, to foster better collaboration and innovative solutions. Blue Hat: The Blue Hat is all about control and organization. It sets the agenda, defines the problem, and ensures that the discussion remains focused. White Hat: Focused on facts and information, the White Hat calls for data-driven thinking. It eliminates biases, enabling a clear view of the situation. Green Hat: Creativity flourishes under the Green Hat. It encourages thinking outside the box, exploring new possibilities and ideas. Yellow Hat: This hat embodies optimism. It looks at the positives, seeking the benefits and opportunities in any scenario. Red Hat: The Red Hat allows for the expression of emotions and feelings, which are crucial but often overlooked in decision-making. Black Hat: Lastly, the Black Hat introduces caution. It highlights potential pitfalls, helping teams to avoid hasty, ill-considered decisions. Introduction to the Six Thinking Hats: We start by explaining the core concept of the Six Thinking Hats, detailing each hat's role in the decision-making process. Learn how the Blue Hat manages the flow of the discussion, while the White Hat focuses on facts, and the Green Hat unleashes creativity. Real-Life Applications: Discover how the Six Thinking Hats can be applied to everyday situations, like planning a vacation or making strategic business decisions. We share examples that highlight how this method can transform complex, contentious discussions into productive and inclusive decision-making processes. The Benefits of Using the Hats: We discuss why the Six Thinking Hats are effective in fostering balanced thinking. By separating emotions from facts and allowing space for creative ideas, this method ensures that all aspects of a problem are considered, leading to well-rounded solutions. Key Takeaways: -The Six Thinking Hats method encourages exploring different perspectives to enhance problem-solving and decision-making. -This approach fosters collaboration by ensuring that every viewpoint is considered in a structured manner. -Using the Six Thinking Hats can lead to more innovative, practical, and inclusive solutions, whether in a corporate setting or personal life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/202-wear-the-six-thinking-hats/ https://www.debonogroup.com/services/core-programs/six-thinking-hats/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOMDQgjb360 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Thinking_Hats Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

201 - Creating Your Own Luck The intriguing concept of luck as presented in A.H.Z. Carr’s book "How to Attract Good Luck and Make the Most of It in Your Daily Life." challenges the traditional notion of luck as mere chance or superstition, Carr offers a practical approach to creating luck through preparedness and the right mindset. Redefining Luck: Carr redefines luck as not a mystical force but a product of our responses to opportunities. He emphasizes that luck arises when we are prepared for chance events. For instance, if a piece of paper blows in our path, our decision to pick it up or ignore it can lead to different outcomes. This proactive response is what transforms chance into luck. Attracting Opportunities: The first step to creating luck is attracting opportunities. Carr argues that being likable and maintaining a zest for life are key factors. Friendly and generous people tend to draw others to them, increasing their chances of encountering opportunities. He also warns against traits like greediness and anxiety, which can repel luck. Recognizing and Responding to Opportunities: Recognizing opportunities when they arise is crucial. Being alert and attuned to the rhythms of life helps us identify potential in everyday events. Once recognized, acting on these opportunities is vital. Carr shares personal stories and examples to illustrate the importance of timely and appropriate responses to opportunities. Adapting to Your Environment: Carr highlights the importance of adapting to the rhythms of your environment. Whether in a bustling city or a quiet rural area, recognizing and responding to the unique opportunities in your surroundings can enhance your luck. Understanding and adapting to these rhythms is essential for creating luck. Takeaways: Luck is about being prepared and responsive to opportunities. By being likable, recognizing opportunities, and acting on them, you can create your own luck. Additionally, adapting to your environment helps in identifying and seizing opportunities, further enhancing your chances of experiencing good luck. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/creating-your-own-luck/ https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18079569-how-to-attract-good-luck Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

The MEEPS Method for Problem-Solving Change is hard, but with the right strategy, it becomes manageable. The MEMPS method—Motivate, Equip, Nudge, Push, and Shove—offers a structured approach to tackling problems and achieving goals. Here’s how you can apply this method to your own life. The system takes into account the book by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein, Nudge. Motivate The first step is to inspire excitement. Create a vision board, set clear goals, and involve your friends and family for support. Motivation is about fostering a desire for the end result, making the journey towards it exciting and desirable. Equip Preparation is crucial. Ensure you have everything you need before starting. For example, if you’re aiming to exercise more, have the right clothes, shoes, and a gym plan ready. Properly equipping yourself prevents loss of momentum and sets a solid foundation for success. Nudge Subtle reminders and small incentives help keep you on track. Whether it’s setting reminders on your phone or using apps like Streaks, gentle nudges maintain progress without overwhelming pressure. They serve as friendly prompts to keep you moving in the right direction. Push Sometimes, a firmer approach is necessary. Set clear, measurable benchmarks and involve others to hold you accountable. If mornings aren’t working for your exercise routine, adjust the plan. Direct actions, like placing alarm clocks away from your bed, ensure you take the necessary steps towards your goals. Shove This is the last resort. It involves significant consequences or commitments that make it almost impossible not to follow through. For instance, committing to give away money if you don’t achieve a goal can be a powerful motivator. While harsh, shoves ensure that critical goals are met. The MEMPS method is versatile and can be tailored to various goals, from health and fitness to professional development. By following these steps, you create a structured pathway to success, ensuring that every effort you make brings you closer to your desired outcome. Start with motivation, prepare yourself, nudge gently, push when needed, and reserve the shove for when it’s absolutely necessary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Y7BoHeGhB0I https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-meeps-method-for-problem-solving/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

199 - Overcoming Costs and Creating Incentives This episode examines how costs, incentives, and biases influence our behavior and decision-making processes. Drawing from both economics and psychology, we discuss strategies to identify and manage these factors effectively, ensuring better outcomes in personal a nd professional scenarios. The Role of Incentives: We explore how incentives, whether financial, social, or intrinsic, significantly impact behavior. From bonuses at work to rewards for good grades, incentives motivate us by offering tangible or intangible benefits. Stephen Levitt’s work highlights how even small incentives can drive substantial changes in behavior. We discuss various examples and the importance of creating effective incentive structures. Understanding Costs: Costs are not limited to financial expenses; they also include time, stress, and opportunity costs. We delve into how evaluating these costs helps in making more informed decisions. Real-life examples illustrate the hidden costs we often overlook. Understanding the full spectrum of costs associated with our decisions is crucial for making better choices. Psychological Influences: Behavioral economics combines psychology and economics to understand decision-making biases. We discuss common biases, such as resistance to change and the preference for immediate rewards, and how they affect our choices. By recognizing these biases, we can develop strategies to overcome them and make more rational decisions. Managing Costs and Enhancing Incentives: To make better decisions, it’s essential to identify and manage costs effectively. We cover strategies for recognizing direct and indirect costs and mitigating them through informed planning. Additionally, we discuss the importance of clear goals and rewards, visible progress tracking, and regular reassessment of incentive programs to ensure they lead to desired behaviors without unintended negative consequences. Takeaways: Understanding and balancing costs and incentives is essential for making informed decisions and fostering positive behavior changes. By recognizing the true costs of our actions and strategically implementing incentives, we can improve our personal and professional lives. Join us as we explore these concepts and learn how to navigate costs and incentives for better decision-making. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/199-overcoming-costs-and-creating-incentives/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

198 - Navigating the Challenges of People Pleasing In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked downside of being too nice. Drawing from "Anxious to Please: Seven Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice" by James Rapson and Craig English, we discuss how chronic people pleasing can impact mental health, relationships, and personal fulfillment. We offer practical strategies to help listeners find a balance between kindness and self-respect. The Hidden Costs of People Pleasing: Chronic people pleasing can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and strained relationships. It often involves second-guessing oneself and constantly seeking approval. Recognizing Over-Accommodation: Awareness is the first step towards change. It is crucial to identify situations where one is overly accommodating and reflect on the emotions and thoughts behind these behaviors. Steps to Reclaim Your Authenticity: Small Acts of Self-Assertion: Start with minor actions like suggesting a restaurant or declining additional work. Forgiveness and Patience: Changing ingrained habits takes time. Be kind to yourself throughout the process. The Desert Practice: Spending time alone helps one reconnect with one’s personal desires and needs. This practice encourages listening to one's own voice away from external influences. Developing a Personal Ethic: Adopt a mindset similar to a warrior who acts based on personal ethics rather than automatic niceness. This involves making conscious decisions aligned with personal values. Takeaways: Balance Kindness with Self-Respect: It's essential to be kind without compromising one’s own well-being. Awareness and small steps towards self-assertion can help achieve this balance. Practice Solitude: Regularly spending time alone helps you understand and prioritize your needs. Conscious Decision Making: Acting based on personal ethics rather than habitual niceness leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/198-breaking-free-from-people-pleasing/ https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Please-Revolutionary-Practices-Chronically-ebook/dp/B001U29UDK Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

197 - Seven Key Questions to Be Self-Aware Understanding our essential self is a journey, one that requires introspection and a willingness to ask challenging questions. We look into these questions, drawing from Dain Dunston's book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness. This two-part series emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in navigating life's journey and achieving personal growth. 1 Where Are You? This foundational question urges listeners to evaluate their current life position, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically. It sets the stage for understanding one’s starting point in the journey of self-awareness. 2 Why Are You Here? Delving into the meaning behind our existence and actions, this question helps listeners identify their life’s purpose, providing a clear direction and making everyday challenges more manageable. 3 Who Are You Being? Examining the roles we play in life, this question distinguishes between our essential and synthetic selves, encouraging authentic living. 4 What Do You Want? Understanding our desires and goals is crucial. This question helps listeners align their actions with their true aspirations, creating a cohesive path forward. 5 What Wants to Happen? This metaphysical inquiry explores the broader direction of our lives, encouraging alignment with the larger movements of the world or our community. 6 What Don’t You Know? Acknowledging knowledge gaps and seeking to fill them is essential for growth. Confronting the unknowns that hinder progress is a key aspect of self-awareness. 7 How Does This Feel? Assessing our emotional responses to our journey helps us navigate its complexities. Mixed feelings are natural, and understanding them aids in personal development. Takeaways: • Reflecting on these seven questions can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, promoting personal growth and a more fulfilling life. • Small steps towards self-awareness, as emphasized by Burroughs, can significantly impact overall well-being. Authenticity in our roles and understanding our true desires are essential components of a meaningful life journey. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/seven-key-questions-to-be-self-aware/ https://daindunston.com/books/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

196 - Your Essential Being In this episode, we explore the concept of radical self-awareness, a transformative practice that allows us to reconnect with our core identity. Inspired by Dane Dunstan's book "Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness," we delve into how understanding our essential self can help us navigate life with clarity and purpose. Key Takeaways: Understanding Radical Self-Awareness: It's a practice that combines emotional intelligence, perceptiveness, and critical thinking. It involves recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, and motivations to lead our minds effectively. Overcoming External Labels: We often get boxed into outdated perceptions by those around us. Embracing our evolved selves requires breaking free from these labels and understanding our true identity. The Essential Child: Revisiting childhood passions and moments of pure joy can guide us in understanding what makes us feel alive. These core desires help align our lives with our authentic selves. Identifying Genuine Aspirations: Many pursue goals imposed by societal norms, leading to unfulfillment. Identifying what we genuinely want allows us to set meaningful goals and make authentic choices. Reflective Questions: Dunstan suggests using introspective questions to explore our essential self. Reflecting on where we feel most alive and what excites us provides insights into our true nature. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/196-your-essential-being/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

195 - Shortcuts in Achieving Goals In our pursuit of goals, the question often arises: is it acceptable to use shortcuts? This topic is more nuanced than it appears, blending practical considerations with ethical ones. Let's explore the implications of using shortcuts to achieve goals and how they impact our learning, integrity, and success. Shortcuts are often perceived negatively, equated with cheating or avoiding hard work. However, not all shortcuts are created equal. Tools like AI, productivity apps, and medical interventions can provide a leg up without compromising our values. For instance, scheduling software helps organize tasks and bills, improving efficiency without undermining our skills. This raises an essential question: when do shortcuts hinder personal growth, and when do they facilitate it? Consider health and weight loss. Tools like Ozempic or gastric bypass surgery offer quick results but can bypass the critical learning process associated with lifestyle changes. This perspective is echoed by many who argue that reliance on such tools may lead to regaining weight once the shortcut is removed. The key issue here is whether these shortcuts help achieve long-term, sustainable health improvements or merely provide a temporary fix. Similarly, in education and work, tools like AI can aid learning and productivity. For example, using Grammarly to improve writing can be educational, offering insights into common mistakes. However, outsourcing tasks like writing a book or completing assignments can lead to dependency and a lack of skill development. Using apps like Merlin to learn bird calls can be instrumental in finding and learning more about birds. People who already know the birds can scorn the app, but instead, they should look at it as an educational tool if people use it correctly. For instance, I experience with weight loss—both through structured programs and gradual, self-directed efforts—demonstrates the importance of balancing immediate results with long-term habits. The same principle applies to financial management, where learning through experience often proves more valuable than quick fixes like debt bailouts. Yet, shortcuts are not inherently negative. They can be beneficial when they provide necessary support without completely replacing personal effort. AI tools for content creation, for instance, can enhance productivity while still requiring user input and creativity. Similarly, health apps and wearable technology can promote fitness by offering motivation and tracking progress. Ultimately, the decision to use shortcuts should be guided by their impact on learning and personal development. If a shortcut merely offers a temporary solution without fostering growth or understanding, it may be counterproductive. However, if it serves as a stepping stone towards greater efficiency and knowledge, it can be a valuable tool. In conclusion, shortcuts can be both beneficial and detrimental, depending on their application and the individual’s approach. Balancing the use of shortcuts with a commitment to personal growth and ethical considerations ensures that they serve as aids rather than crutches in achieving our goals. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/195-shortcuts-in-achieving-goals/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

194 - Overcoming Tedious Tasks In today’s episode, we explore how to tackle the boring, tedious tasks that often derail our productivity. Drawing insights from Peter Hollens’ book, Self-Disciplined: for Tedious, Boring, and Difficult Things, we discuss practical strategies to make these tasks more manageable. 1. 52/17 Technique: Work for 52 minutes, then take a 17-minute break. This method, based on the Pomodoro Technique, helps maintain focus and reduces mental fatigue. 2. Parking Downhill: Start with simple tasks to build momentum. Ease into your workday with activities that require less cognitive effort, like checking emails. 3. Four Quarters Method: Divide your day into four segments—early morning, late morning, afternoon, and evening. This makes your day feel less daunting and allows you to align tasks with your energy levels. 4. 12-Week Plan: Focus on short-term, 12-week goals instead of annual resolutions. This creates a sense of urgency and allows for frequent reassessments and adjustments. 5. Pickle Jar Theory: Prioritize by starting with the most critical tasks (big rocks) and filling in with smaller tasks (pebbles and sand). This ensures your most important tasks get done first. 6. Daily Themes: Assign specific days to particular types of tasks. Consistency builds rhythm and reduces decision fatigue. 7. Energy Patterns: Schedule demanding tasks during your peak energy times. Understand whether you’re a morning or evening person and plan accordingly. 8. Automation and Templates: Automate repetitive tasks and use templates to streamline workflows, reducing mental load and freeing up time for more critical activities. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/194-overcoming-tedious-tasks/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

193 - Formulas for Life In this episode, we delve into Patrick King's book, Social Equation, which offers practical formulas to enhance social interactions. Discover how to build trust, improve workplace harmony, and foster romantic relationships through King's insightful equations. Building trust is fundamental to any strong relationship, and Patrick King offers a straightforward formula to achieve this: Trustworthiness = Consistency x Reliability / Number of Betrayals. This emphasizes the importance of being consistent and reliable while minimizing betrayals to maintain and build trust. In the workplace, harmony is crucial for productivity and job satisfaction. King’s formula for workplace harmony is Respect x Cooperation / Conflicts + Ego. By fostering respect and cooperation and reducing conflicts and ego clashes, a more harmonious and productive work environment can be created. For romantic relationships, King provides a more nuanced formula: Common Interest x Physical Attraction x Emotional Connection to the Power of Adaptability. This formula highlights the need for shared interests, physical and emotional attraction, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances to maintain a strong romantic bond. When it comes to effective learning, King suggests that it can be quantified as Curiosity x Engagement / Number of Distractions. Staying curious and engaged while minimizing distractions can significantly enhance learning efficiency. Friendships are built on four key components: proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. King’s formula for friendship development is Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Maintaining frequent and meaningful interactions is essential for deepening friendships. Mastering small talk can be daunting, but King provides a simple strategy: answer the question asked, provide two additional lines of detail, and then pass the conversation back. This approach helps keep conversations engaging and dynamic, turning small talk into deeper, more meaningful exchanges. Introducing people to each other can be a powerful networking tool. King’s formula for perfect introductions is Past + Future. Start by mentioning the present role of the person, then share something from their past that establishes credibility, and finally, suggest a future connection between the individuals. Takeaway Challenge: Create three personal formulas to tackle current problems. For example, a weight loss formula could be Burning Calories x Activity / Eating Calories + Sedentary Time. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/193-formulas-for-life/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

192 - The Enduring Wisdom of George Washington’s Rules In today’s episode, we delve into George Washington’s “110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior,” a set of guidelines that the first U.S. President copied from a French etiquette manual during his youth. These rules, which shaped his conduct and helped forge his character, offer timeless wisdom on politeness and decorum that is surprisingly relevant in our modern society. The Foundation of Civility: We start by exploring the significance of these rules in Washington’s life and how they influenced his reputation as a leader. These principles were not just about manners but about forging a character equipped for leadership and respectful interactions. A.J. Jacobs’ Experiment: We discuss how contemporary writer A.J. Jacobs adopted Washington’s rules in his life for a month, as detailed in his book “My Life as an Experiment.” Jacobs’ experiences reveal the practicality of these rules in modern settings, emphasizing concise communication (Rule 34) and showing respect in every interaction (Rule 1). Applying Old Wisdom to New World Challenges: We talk about how these historical guidelines can be applied to today’s digital communication challenges, encouraging more thoughtful and respectful engagements in both personal and professional contexts. Favorite Rules and Anecdotes: Our host shares their favorite civility rules and some humorous yet insightful anecdotes about trying to live by these guidelines in everyday life, including the complexities and unexpected outcomes of such an experiment. Call to Action: We invite listeners to reflect on how incorporating elements of Washington’s civility into daily interactions could improve their communication and relationships. We also encourage audience participation by asking listeners to submit their own modern-day rules of civility. Conclusion: Wrapping up, we consider the enduring impact of these rules on modern etiquette and the potential for rediscovering civility in our fast-paced, often impersonal world. Tune in to gain insights into how historical lessons can foster a more respectful and thoughtful society today. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/192-the-enduring-wisdom-of-george-washingtons-rules/ https://bpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/sites.usc.edu/dist/a/836/files/2015/05/George-Washingtons-Rules.pdf Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

191 - Don't Join the Cynicism In this episode, we look into the pervasive issue of cynicism in our modern society, exploring its causes and impactful strategies to foster a more positive outlook. Drawing inspiration from the wise words of George Carlin, we discuss how disillusionment leads to cynicism and how we can transform this mindset to improve our overall quality of life. Understanding Cynicism: We start by defining cynicism and its roots in disappointment, highlighting the fine line between healthy skepticism and harmful cynicism. Developing Discernment: Learn about the importance of discernment in combating cynicism, enabling us to remain critical yet open-hearted and trusting. Reframing Perspectives: We discuss shifting from a passive to an active stance, focusing on problem-solving rather than problem-dwelling. Limiting Negativity: Tips on reducing exposure to negative triggers, such as distressing news and toxic social media. Cultivating Gratitude: Emphasizing the power of gratitude to shift focus from what's missing to what's present. Community Engagement: The benefits of engaging in positive social activities and volunteer work to combat feelings of isolation and negativity. Personal Accountability: A challenge to listeners to identify personal sources of cynicism and actively seek to change their perspectives. Join us as we journey away from cynicism, taking deliberate steps toward a more optimistic and fulfilling life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/191-dont-join-the-cynicism/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com